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Author Archives: Lady of the Manners
Of Cross-Generational Concert Etiquette; or Kids Today and Their Loud Music
You see, Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners recently attended an ”¦ arena rock show. Yes, it’s true. The Lady of the Manners has a not-so-secret fondness for bands that indulge in power chords, theatrics, and eyeliner; which means that every now and again, the Lady of the Manners finds herself at Big! Rock! Shows. And this most recent time, the Lady of the Manners realized that perhaps she should talk about cross-generational concert etiquette.
“Cross-generational?” you may be asking. Well, yes. At this last concert, the Lady of the Manners was bemused (and perhaps just a touch horrified) at some of the behavior she saw on both ends of the age spectrum at the concert. No, it wasn’t just the antics of the younger attendees that caused the Lady of the Manners to raise her eyebrows, but also the behavior of the “grown-ups” at the concert. Continue reading
Posted in Clubbing & Concerts
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Why the Month of May Didn’t Exist Here, Plus Answering a Reader Letter
The Lady of the Manners is very sorry for not posting anything during May, Snarklings. May was a bit of a blur of work chaos, concerts, preparing for and then attending Convergence 13. The Lady of the Manners has swarms of letters to answer, and is going to try to post helpful (but possibly quick!) replies to them in the very near future. Continue reading
Posted in Being Mannerly, General, Stuff & Oddments
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Goodbye Cruel Internets; or The Great Flounce-Off
Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners knows that this is a rare occurrence, but this month’s lesson is indeed the one the Lady of the Manners threatened … er promised last month. Not because the Lady of the Manners doesn’t have other topics to address; good heavens, no! (In fact, the Lady of the Manners has been noticing an upswing in letters from readers, which is very gratifying.) But the Lady of the Manners feels she absolutely needs to do her part to help stop a particular epidemic of bad behavior.
The Lady of the Manners is sure that all of you have seen the horrible and petty behavior the Lady of the Manners is speaking of; if you’ve spent any time at all on the Internet, you’ve encountered this behavior many times. (The Lady of the Manners fervently hopes you haven’t indulged in it yourselves; if you have, don’t spoil her illusions.) Wherever there are multiple people posting, be it on blogs, message boards, LiveJournal, MySpace, or newsgroups, a version of the following will happen at some point:
“No one understands me / You are all SO MEAN / I am misunderstood! I am GOING TO LEAVE (delete my journal / user profile / stomp off in a huff)!”
This sort of behavior is commonly referred to as “Goodbye Cruel Internets!” or “I’m taking my toys and going home!” Continue reading
Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social, General
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Gothic Charm School in the News!
Yes Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners was interviewed about Gothic Charm School by a very nice gentleman from Sun Media! Read the interview here. Continue reading
Posted in General, News
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Raising Babybats; or On Being a Gothy Parent
Well Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners thought she knew what this month’s lesson was going to be about. But that was before the Lady of the Manners received a couple of letters with the same heartfelt query. A heartfelt query that the Lady of the Manners could not ignore: Do you have to turn in your Goth Card once you become a parent?
Posted in General, Growing Pains
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On Goths Dating Non-Goths; Or Dating Outside One’s Subcultural Boundries and Why It’s Okay.
The Lady of the Manners must say, Snarklings, that she has been delighted with the letters she’s lately been receiving from all of you. Oodles of letters about all sorts of things; some of you even have been asking for help with clothing and cosmetics, two subjects the Lady of the Manners is always happy to natter on about.
But! The Lady of the Manners is not going to indulge in Holding Forth about fashion things this month. No, this month the Lady of the Manners is going to talk about a dilemma that is a concern for many Goths: can a Goth find happiness in giving their heart to someone who is not one of the spooky and black-clad throng?
Those of you with long memories may recall that the Lady of the Manners has talked about this subject before. But it seems that there are many of you out there who aren’t sure if you can or should date outside the subculture; the letter from Madeline that is quoted below is one of several the Lady of the Manners has received recently. Continue reading
Posted in General, Love & Romance
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On Goths Dealing with a Winter Wonderland
There are times, Snarklings, that the Lady of the Manners suspects that the universe runs on serendipity overdrive. Okay, maybe not all of it, but some parts of it. Why? Because the Lady of the Manners had recently been pondering, during her cold and dark commute home from work every evening, what the next lesson should be about. Because while Lady of the Manners does indeed read all of the messages that people send her, Lady of the Manners was having a difficult time deciding which particular message struck her fancy. But then a charming young lady by the name of Elsa wrote to the Lady of the Manners with … a question about clothing! Now, as the Constant Reader may have noticed, the Lady of the Manners is very fond of burbling about clothing. In fact, the Lady of the Manners considers customizing and playing with her wardrobe to be her number one hobby. So when a letter arrives asking for clothing advice, how could the Lady of the Manners let it go unanswered? Continue reading
Posted in Being Fashionable, General, Stuff & Oddments
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On Dealing With Relatives. And Security Guards.
Hmmm. The Lady of the Manners said she was probably going to talk about Dealing With Parents for the November lesson, didn’t she? Well, Snarklings, is Dealing With Parents and Relatives During the Holidays close enough? The Lady of the Manners will even include a bonus lesson of how to politely deal with being harassed by security guards at shopping establishments, which is probably a very timely topic, what with the holiday shopping season looming near and all.
So. The holidays (as the media is so fond of reminding us) are a time for family. Which the Lady of the Manners agrees with, actually, but the Lady of the Manners realizes that not everyone is lucky enough to have family who accept them for who they are. The Lady of the Manners is also aware that it’s a bit difficult to be full of holiday cheer when arguments about “You aren’t going to your grandparents dressed like that!” are ringing through the air instead of, say, sleigh bells.
First things first: there is no such thing as a picture-perfect holiday celebration, and the Lady of the Manners is sure that you know that. But! No matter how aware of that you (and probably your family) are, that doesn’t change the fact that deep in everyone’s heart of hearts, they think that if they just do the right thing, say the right words, then they WILL have that greeting card”“perfect holiday. And there’s nothing wrong with striving for that; just keep in mind that you may need to be a little more patient and accommodating than usual. Continue reading
Posted in General, Holidays & Special Occasions
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Parental Expectations, Family Photos, and More About When Black is This Year’s Black
Goodness, Snarklings, do you realize what October means? Besides Halloween and proper weather for velvet, that is? It means that Gothic Charm School is one year old! (In this incarnation, of course. Being the clever Snarklings that you are, you are well-aware that Gothic Charm School previously existed under another name, and has been around since 1998 or so …)
This month, not only is the Lady of the Manners going to try and help a young lady who has a question about parental expectations and family portraits, but the Lady of the Manners is also going to take another look at last October’s topic, because the Lady of the Manners has a few more things to say about the mainstream fashion industry deeming all things “darkly romantic” to be In while simultaneously sneering at the Gothic subculture. In other words, the Lady of the Manners is probably going to rant. You Have Been Warned, Snarklings. Continue reading
Posted in Being Fashionable, General, Growing Pains
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A Question About People Being Petty, With a Slight Tangent About Emo
The Lady of the Manners would like to apologize, Snarklings, for yet another lengthy absence from posting. It’s not that the Lady of the Manners hasn’t been reading your correspondence and thinking fondly of you all; it’s just that, well, things. They happen. However, the Lady of the Manners isn’t going to waste any more space on trying to excuse the sad lack of new lessons, but is going to go directly to a heartfelt question from a reader, who has turned to the Lady of the Manners upon being bad-mouthed and being called a poseur because of preferring The Cure and Bauhaus to Marilyn Manson: Continue reading
Posted in Being Social, General, Growing Pains
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