Tutorial: The Ceremony of the Fangs!

The Lady of the Manners is overwhelmingly fond of stuffed animals. Not only does she still have two of her cherished childhood bears, but she has a rather large collection of fuzzy monsters and bunnies. The most notorious of her bunnies being Clovis Devilbunny, fanged bunny extraordinaire, who has given the Lady of the Manners very good advice over the decades.

Clovis Devilbunny

Over the  years, people have asked how Clovis (and the other vampire bunnies in the Evil Bunny Alliance) gained their pointy pointy teeth. So the Lady of the Manners and Clovis Devilbunny now present: The Ceremony of the Fangs!

1. Gather the supplies: plastic vampire fangs, small scissors, white thread, a sharp sewing needle, a long pin with an easy-to-hold head, and a candle. Optional but not pictured: a pair of needle nose pliers.

(The cordial glass of rose liqueur and large black cat are also optional.)

2. Trim two teeth from the vampire fangs, making the edges as smooth as possible. An additional optional step: hold each tooth in the pliers, and carefully melt/smooth the edges over the candle flame. It’s not a good idea to breathe in the fumes from melting plastic, so work in a room with ventilation!

3. Heat the tip of the pin over the candle flame, then poke 3 to 4 holes through the top of each tooth. Again, this is why a ventilated room is important!

4. Thread the needle and make a small, sturdy knot at the end of the thread. Carefully start sewing the teeth to your fuzzy companion, using the holes you already made in the teeth. Make sure to tug the stitches tight, so they don’t show. It’s helpful to talk to your fuzzy companion during this step: assure them of their bravery, and tell them how fierce and dashing they’ll look when the teeth are secure.

5. Trim all of the loose or exposed ends of the thread, gently fluff the fur around their new pointy teeth, and perhaps give your fuzzy companion a new bow tie.

Merricat bunny was thrilled to be the tutorial model, and is quite pleased with her fangs.

Good luck! Clovis Devilbunny would like to remind you that the Evil Bunny Alliance is an equal-opportunity organization, and gleefully accepts recruits of all shapes, sizes, and fuzzy animal type. Also, Clovis Devilbunny and the Lady of the Manners would be delighted if you want to share photos of your own fuzzy companions in the comments!

7 Responses to “Tutorial: The Ceremony of the Fangs!”

  1. Josephine Says:

    They are so beautiful! I have the rattiest of companions in Fritz the lion, who has been snuggled by me for over thirty years. Alas, I doubt his grumpy old man expression would survive this.

    Side note – this post sent me from never having heard of rose liqueur to craving it with every fiber of my being in about 2.83417 seconds. Where might one acquire such a decadent delicacy? Do you have a favorite brand, or tips for choosing the nicest version?

    Thank you for making the world a great deal more lovely and dark! <3

    Josephine

  2. Lady of the Manners Says:

    I wake my own rose liqueur, using the roses I harvest from the over-achieving rosebush in my yard, because that way I know for sure that the roses don’t have pesticides. However I know there are sources out there for food-grade dried roses.

    My method:
    – Pull the petals off of lots and lots of roses, and put them in a saucepan.
    – Cover the petals with water; you want about 2″ more water than petals.
    – Bring that to a simmer. Add about 1/4 to 1/2 cup of sugar, depending how sweet you want it, and stir until it dissolves.
    – Once the petals have turned a brownish color, fish them out with a slotted spoon.
    – Keep simmering until the liquid is a syrupy consistency, then let it cool.
    – Take a clean glass jar, fill it about 1/3 with the rose syrup, the rest with vodka, then seal the jar and gently shake it. You can make multiple jars of this mix, or save the rest of the rose syrup to have on other things. (Rose syrup on bittersweet chocolate ice cream is delicious.)

  3. Lady of the Manners Says:

    (You can also make unsweetened rose vodka by infusing multiple rounds of rose petals in a jar of plain vodka.)

  4. Skye Malito Says:

    This is so cute! Time to make vampire stuffies of all kinds!

  5. Josephine Says:

    Thank you so much, dearest Lady! *schemes to plant rosebushes when the landlord isn’t looking*

    Josephine

  6. Cece Says:

    Because it’s not Halloween, it’s kinda hard to find fang things (at least where I live) so what I did was I took fake nails (the white plastic ones), cut them into the desired fang shape and length and then poke the holes and sew them on. There’s a quick little diy for ya if you can’t get your hands on any sort of fang things.

  7. Nyx Shadowhawk Says:

    https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-4e757e32c45a8e21e9cf6aad6aa8c57a

    Here’s my bat kitty! He came pre-equipped with his fangs. He’s from Spiral Direct, as evidenced by the logo on his collar. Isn’t he great?

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