Monthly Archives: March 2008

Of Reactions to Goths, and How the Goths Should Respond

Oh Snarklings, this time around the Lady of the Manners is answering two different letters about people’s reactions to Goths, and how Goths should react to them. One letter concerns Goths in public places and the town’s reaction to them; the second letter features a more personal plight, with someone questioning their commitment to the Gothic subculture after some annoying comments directed at them.

Goths banned from the town square in Glasgow? A reader called Aristocat wrote in to ask the Lady of the Manners her opinion:

Dear Lady,
I am an avid reader of your etiquette lessons, and enjoy them very much. While I find all your lessons to be extremely useful, apparently it isn’t enough in our council’s eyes…

This happened a few months ago now…In case the link doesn’t work, the short version is this: the council has decided that goths are anti-social, and a blight on the fabric of the square, and has moved them from their customary seating area, even going to the lengths of cordoning off the seating area and stationing security guards round it. I wondered if you had any thoughts upon what to do and how to react to this?

Well, the Lady of the Manners’ first suggestion is that the Goths in that town go to the open meetings of the council and present their side of the story. Make sure the most even-tempered and responsible of the local Goth community be the ones to actually speak to any officials. Ask the council for any documented proof that the Goths were responsible for any disruptions, for any proof of those allegations of drinking, drugs, and inappropriate behavior. Also ask the council if they have any documented complaints from shopkeepers. As a final question, ask if the council intends to ban any other social groups from town square if they seem to be disruptive. Remember, as a taxpayer to your town council, you have the right to free congress in public, council-maintained areas unless you are violating laws or guidelines, and that you are entitled to be heard fairly. (The Lady of the Manners would like to give a heartfelt “Thank You!” to her UK-dwelling friend who gave her advice about UK town councils.)

Another suggestion is for the Goths in the area to continue to peaceably congregate in the square outside of the cordoned-off area. The Lady of the Manners would like to stress peaceably; everyone on their best behavior, and very clearly not in the area that the council has deemed Off Limits, but right by that area. If the Goths that used to congregate in the square are school-age, make VERY sure to do this during free time, not when you should be in classes.

The Lady of the Manners is dismayed to hear that the town council thinks that the Goths are causing a disruption, and echos the sentiments of one of the young ladies quoted in the linked newspaper article in that there surely must be more important issues that the city council should be addressing than a group of eccentrically-dressed youngsters gathering in a public place. Please keep the Lady of the Manners updated on what happens with this.

The second letter is from a young creature named Wolfbane, who seems to be suffering from a crisis of confidence or faith in their dedication to the Gothic subculture: Continue reading

Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social, General, Growing Pains | Leave a comment

Of Gothic Lolita Fashion and Lifestyle

The Lady of the Manners didn’t mean to misplace all of February, truly she didn’t. The Lady of the Manners was just so engrossed in reading all of your letters, Snarklings, that she was, er,¬†too distracted to reply to them. The Lady of the Manners has resolved to start March out properly, so on to answering questions!

Dear Lady of Manners,I’m writing because I have a question that arose out of curiosity. I’m not quite sure if you’re aware of the Lolita style of clothing. If not, please allow me to educate you: Lolita is both a lifestyle and fashion statement. It’s about being ladylike and refined, and dressing modestly and sweetly, with ribbons and lace and bows. Continue reading

Posted in Being Fashionable, General | Leave a comment