Hellohello, Faithful Readers, and welcome to the early spring ramblings at Gothic Charm School. (the Lady of the Manners knows that it’s spring because all the local drugstores have shelves and shelves of sugary Peeps for sale. Some people may use the budding of the trees or the re-appearance of flowers as sure harbingers of the spring season; the Lady of the Manners goes by the more reliable timetable of Easter candy turning up at the stores. Mmmmm, chocolate bunnies”¦)
Anyway, besides flowers, warmer weather, and Cadbury’s Cream Eggs, spring also usually means people coming out of the winter doldrums bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to go out and find new romantic interests. Of course, those people have to figure out how to chat up the potential new romance partner, which brings me to the question of the month sent in by one of Our Readers:
A long, long time ago, I had a friend who was incredibly “old-school” Goth. Anyway, he was telling me about one of the Goth Newsgroups, and he mentioned that oft-repeated phrase “Nice boots – Wanna fuck? ” He was telling me that there was this discussion going on about how it would be cool for Goths to be able to just cut through all of the BS required in meeting “that special someone”, and just plain flat-out ask for sex. Basically, just “Do you? or Don’t you?” Anyway, I believe the exchange went like this: A goth person would approach the object of his/her desire and say “Nice Boots”. The person in question, being up on Gothlore, would give one of two responses, indicating whether or not he/she would like to go home and shag this person senseless. Now, I’m just SO-NOT-Goth. I know a bunch of Gothy people, and I’m very good friends with Goths, but I’m just not into the Goth scene. But I digress. Basically, I just want to know, how exactly the whole “nice boots – wanna fuck” exchange went. I know that this has become this huge in-joke amongst Goths, but I forget exactly how it went. The curiosity is killing me! I promise not to use any information you might give me in a hurtful or abusive manner, and I promise not to try to hit on any Gothy Chicks with this information. (my fiancee wouldn’t take kindly to that) Furthermore, I promise that I won’t bother you with any more questions, and I’ll go quietly back to my boring, unassuming, humdrum, non-Goth life, after briefly begging forgiveness for any insolence on my part.
Thank you!! 🙂
Oh . . . goodness. Well, as far as the Lady of the Manners knows (and if anyone has differing information, pleaseplease send a message!) the “nice boots”¦” phrase was just a big in-joke among net.goths. The Lady of the Manners have NO idea if going up to a random gothy person at a club and saying the “nice boots”¦” phrase would work as a pick-up line. If the person was a net.goth, they would probably giggle. If they weren’t a net.goth they would possibly look at you blankly; they possibly might even take you up on the proposition.
Do a web search and you’ll find a fair selection of web pages with lists of gothic pick-up lines. One of them states: “Pickup lines are just silliness anyway, so a non-sequitur is just the epitome of pickup lines, especially if it’s a good one.” Pick-up lines are just a way of breaking the ice and seeing if the luscious creature you’ve been eyeing is friendly enough to talk to you. If they don’t want to talk to you, it’s a good bet that they wouldn’t want to go home with you either. But remember Dear Readers, if someone doesn’t respond to your pick-up line or attempt to start a conversation, don’t keep pestering them. Rejection isn’t nice, but repeatedly pestering someone after they’ve made their lack of interest apparent is very rude.
And speaking of rude, that leads us to the second half of this month’s topic: Club Manners! Yes, there are some guidelines of etiquette that everyone should observe when going out to the local gothy nightspot. Don’t worry, there aren’t any arcane rituals you need to familiarize yourself with, just some basic rules of common Goth courtesy.
Dance Floor Space:
First of all, try not to bump into your fellow dancers. If you do, try and quietly acknowledge what happened; catching their eye and mouthing “I’m sorry” while still dancing is good; suddenly stopping to dance, grabbing their hand, and apologizing profusely is overkill.
Also, don’t take drinks out onto the dancefloor if you can at all help it. I know that it isn’t always possible to set your beverage down safely somewhere while you dance, but if you must take your drink out onto the floor with you, avoid dramatic arm movements and lots of spinning. People with “dry clean only” clothes will thank you for it.
If you tend to wear big skirts or dresses with long trains, make sure you have control over your garment at all times. A skirt with lots of petticoats, a bustle, or train may look dramatic and lovely, but other dancers don’t want to have to worry about your clothes getting underfoot. Not to mention that having someone step on the train of your dress while you’re dancing leads to toppling over backwards, bruises, and looking fairly silly. (The same rule applies to canes, walking sticks, or any other large accessories a person may have with them. A walking stick looks very elegant, but smacking someone in the head with it while dancing is a Bad Thing.)
Romance At Clubs:
No matter how tempting, try to avoid overtly sexual making out on the dancefloor or at one of the tables in the club. Other patrons may not want to watch you and your partner grind against each other right next to them. (And if they do want to watch you, they may start offering commentary that would be disruptive to the mood.) Also, depending on the strictness of the Liquor Control Board in your town, that sort of behavior could lead to your favorite club getting its liquor license revoked.
If the object of your desire is there with their boyfriend/girlfriend, you still can approach them and see if they might be interested in a change. Just do it SUBTLY, and if they tell you no, respect that. Don’t press the issue, don’t try and convince them otherwise, and don’t try to start a fight about it.
Don’t point or obviously stare at people you’re talking about. There’s nothing wrong with sitting in a corner having a snide conversation about other club patrons, just make sure that your conversation isn’t overheard.
People At Clubs Who Don’t Seem To Belong There:
Ignore them. Every nightclub gets its share of “tourists,” and while pointing and laughing at them is tempting, it’s not worth it. Of course, some of the tourists are there to try and get lucky with one o’ them deviant goth weirdoes, and will try and talk to you and buy you drinks. It’s up to you as to how you want to treat that: I think it’s a bit cruel to build up the hopes of men having a mid-life crisis, so I would recommend just saying, “no, thank you” and walking away; other people I know think this sort of thing is a heaven-sent opportunity for free drinks.
Speaking Of People Who Stand Out In A Bad Way:
Friends don’t let friends dress like the Crow. Or the girl from Cry for Dawn.
The Lady of the Manners going to stop on that succinct note, and go foraging for more discounted Easter candy. As always, if you have any burning goth etiquette questions, send them to firstname.lastname@example.org