Category Archives: Being Social

Of “Friendly Goth” Fashion

Posted on May, 2019 by Lady of the Manners

For this installment of Gothic Charm School, the Lady of the Manners is responding to a Snarkling who said the questions in her mail are “a bit all over the place”, but the Lady of the Manners quickly spotted a link between them: how to have a subtle Goth style that won’t worry or intimidate parents or kids? Continue reading →

Posted in Being Fashionable, Being Social | Tagged , , , | 7 Comments

Of “Rules”, and Questions from Different Ends of the Age Spectrum

Posted on May, 2018 by Lady of the Manners

The Lady of the Manners didn’t mean to hide and take a nap for a large portion of the spring, really she didn’t. But sometimes these things happen. However, a few bits of Goth Upkeep information that the Lady of the Manners feels you should know:

  • Crypts and haunted mansions, while lovely and gloomy, still won’t protect you from pollen-induced allergies.
  • MAC Liquidlast liner will stay on through allergy attacks, naps, showers, and possibly anything else.
  • Milani Cosmetics Infinite Liquid Eyeliner is a perfect duplicate of Liquidlast, and is available in drugstores.
  • If you use either of those liquid liners, you will need to use an oil-based remover to get them off your face. (The Lady of the Manners uses jojoba oil and baby wipes.)

And before the Lady of the Manners gets on to answering some questions, she has one other thing to tell you about! She and Rhias Hall are the hosts of a new podcast about horror novels from the 70s, 80s, and 90s: The Night Library! This podcast is inspired by the delightful book Paperbacks from Hell by Grady Hendrix. Your two hosts realized they had both read a vast number of the books in that tome, and the podcast is an excuse to reread and discuss them. Continue reading →

Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social, Elder Goths, Growing Pains, Love & Romance | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A Short Post on Dealing with Elitist, Gother-Than-Thou Types

Posted on October, 2017 by Lady of the Manners

Elitists. Gatekeepers. People who say “You’re not a REAL goth unless”. The Gother-Than-Thou scourge of our subculture, and a persistent problem that many of you keep running into. So here: A selection of questions and (slightly rewritten) answers. Continue reading →

Posted in Being Social, General | Tagged , , , | 17 Comments

Of Going to Goth Clubs

Posted on January, 2016 by Lady of the Manners

Welcome to 2016, Snarklings! To kick the new year off, here’s a question about going to goth events at nightclubs:

question: Dear Lady of Manners,

I have a dilemma. I attend a school that doesn’t allow its students to frequent night clubs. Normally, I wouldn’t want to go to one, but there is a gothic event at one next month that I am dying to attend. I’ve never really known any other Goths, so I would love to go. (Disclaimer: I would not be going to gawk. I dress goth or punk about 50 percent of the time and used to in high school as well, but I have had a pull to the gothic things for years.) However, naturally, it is in a seedy part of the city, and I would be going alone. Should I go or not? And if so, what are the best ways to ensure my safety both in the city and in the club? (I have never been to a club before.)

Thank you so much,
Raven

The Lady of the Manners is going to say right off the bat that because your school doesn’t allow students to frequent nightclubs, if there is any chance that a trip out to explore the nighttime goth scene will jeopardize your scholastic career, DON’T GO. Yes, the Lady of the Manners is being a repressive worrywart, but she can’t imagine that any school that forbids students to go to nightclubs would be very understanding about the “but I’ll finally be able to meet people like me!” aspect of your desire to go.

Should you go? Snarkling, that’s for you and only you to decide. Continue reading →

Posted in Being Social, Clubbing & Concerts, Serious Matters | 12 Comments

Of Werewolves. Werewolves and Goth.

Posted on February, 2015 by Lady of the Manners

The Lady of the Manners feels like she needs to state that the question in this edition of Gothic Charm School is one she had never received before. Which isn’t to say it’s bad, or creepy, or unsettling! Just ”¦ this isn’t something that people have asked before. It comes from a young spooky creature: Continue reading →

Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social | Tagged , | 12 Comments

Don’t Drink, Don’t Smoke – What Do You Do?

Posted on January, 2014 by Lady of the Manners

Dearest KittyPirate, and any other Snarklings who may have been wondering about this: it is absolutely alright to be goth and not drink alcoholic beverages! Now, the Lady of the Manners understands how the confusion would arise, as a lot of goth social life is focused on going to night clubs and fancy events. Not to mention the fact that many of the historical roots of goth are strongly entwined around the notions of being transgressive, redefining what is beautiful, and being terribly, terribly decadent.

However, it is possible to embrace all of those notions while not intoxicated! And that in some ways, being a part of the goth subculture while not drinking is a more daring and rebellious viewpoint to hold than the alternative, because it means that your thoughts aren’t blurred by anything other than your own visceral reactions. Continue reading →

Posted in Being Social | Tagged , | 20 Comments

Of Gentlemen’s Summerwear and of Alternative Genders

Posted on May, 2012 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! Yes, the Lady of the Manners has dragged herself away from playing with dolls and reading vampire books to answer reader letters! A letter asking for some fashion advice, and two different letters touching on the trans* and genderqueer communities. This is one of the posts at Gothic Charm School where the Lady of the Manners is going to open up the comments in order to get (she hopes!) even more advice and support for the dilemmas being addressed here. However, as always, the comments will be moderated. (Does the Lady of the Manners have to point out that flaming, trolling, and hateful speech are not tolerated here? She would assume not, but better safe than sorry.) Continue reading →

Posted in Being Fashionable, Being Social, Clicky-links, General, Serious Matters | Tagged , , | 38 Comments

Goth Life Beyond Club-Land

Posted on August, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners is, once again, very amused by how the world works at times. She had been pondering a particular popular misconception about Goth life, and idly contemplating writing a post about it. And then, surprise surprise, a letter asking about that exact misconception arrived in the Gothic Charm School mailbox! Continue reading →

Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social, Clubbing & Concerts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Of Cakes, Dresses, and Princesses. And Lady GaGa.

Posted on January, 2010 by Lady of the Manners

Good heavens, Snarklings, it’s 2010! 2009 seemed to go by in a bit of a blur, what with the release of the Gothic Charm School book and all of the corresponding book-related travel and media events. The Lady of the Manners had an exciting time during all of it, but does feel a bit bewildered by how fast the year went.

This installment of Gothic Charm School is going to be a bit all over the place, with all sorts of different questions for the Lady of the Manners to address. Even one about Lady GaGa? Continue reading →

Posted in Being Fashionable, Being Social, Stuff & Oddments | Leave a comment

Of San Diego Comic-Con, Portland, And A Reader Suffering School Torments.

Posted on July, 2009 by Lady of the Manners

The NYC stop of the Gothic Charm School tour was oodles of fun, Snarklings! (If a bit humid.) The reading at The Mysterious Bookshop was lovely, and the Lady of the Manners was delighted to meet all of you who turned up there. The picnic at the Green-Wood Cemetery was everything the Lady of the Manners had hoped for and more! Goregously-dressed creatures, a historic cemetery, and weather that turned out to be pleasant instead of sweltering and sticky like the day before. Pictures from the events can be found over at the Gothic Charm School Flickr Group! Continue reading →

Posted in Being Social, Growing Pains, Love & Romance, News | Leave a comment