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Meta
Yearly Archives: 2008
Of Conflicts About Cosmetics, Requests For Fashion Advice, and Dealing With Copy-Cats
Hello Snarklings! Goodness, the Lady of the Manners has a whole bundle of letters to answer from readers. Yes, the Lady of the Manners had intended to sit down and write up replies to them in a slightly more timely fashion, but was distracted by such things as squee-ing over a new sewing machine and needing to bake gingerbread bats. Not to mention that whole day job thing. But! The Lady of the Manners has resolved to resist the siren calls of new fabric (pink skull brocade!) and a recipe for absinthe-flavored marshmallows, and instead focus on answering Snarklings’ questions. (Because she does like doing that just as much as sewing or baking; it’s just that sewing and baking require a smidge less concentration.) Continue reading
Posted in Being Fashionable, Being Mannerly, General, Growing Pains
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An Important Announcement About Gothic Charm School!
Exciting news, Snarklings! Coming to bookstores in June 2009, the Gothic Charm School book! Gothic Charm School – An Essential Guide For Goths and Those Who Love Them, published by HarperCollins.
As you might guess, the Lady of the Manners is giddy with excitement about the upcoming Gothic Charm School book, and hopes that all of you are too. Because you see, this book isn’t a mere collection of assorted columns from the history of this site, gracious no! The Gothic Charm School book is full of all sorts of new goodies, and artwork by the Lady of the Manners’ dear husband, noted fantasy artist Pete Venters. (He created all the artwork for this website.)
The Lady of the Manners is also delighted to announce that she’s a special guest columnist in the Winter 2009 English-language Gothic & Lolita Bible from TOKYOPOP! As you Snarklings who are regular readers know, the Lady of the Manners is quite fond of EGL (Elegant Gothic Lolita) and EGA (Elegant Gothic Aristocrat) fashions, so being asked to contribute to the Gothic & Lolita Bible was a treat and an honor.
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The Lady of the Manners had a wonderful time at Bats Day In The Fun Park, and meeting some of you Snarklings made a fun-filled weekend even better. The Lady of the Manners has always wanted to attend Bats Day, but the previous events were usually held in the height of summer. As a delicate native of the Pacific Northwest with a wardrobe full of petticoats, the prospect of summertime in Anaheim, California, canceled out the enticement of the sight of Disneyland swarming with fellow Goths. But oh, the Lady of the Manners is so glad she attended this year! The sight of 1,282 Goths standing in line for the Haunted Mansion is a memory that will bring a smile to her face for years to come. Continue reading
Posted in News
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Bats Day In The Fun Park
This is just a quick note, Snarklings, to let you know that the Lady of the Manners is attending the 10th annual Bats Day In The Fun Park this weekend! If you’re also attending and happen to spy the Lady of the Manners wandering around, please come over and say hi!
(Yes, it’s true. The Lady of the Manners loves Disneyland, and would quite happily move into the Haunted Mansion.) Continue reading
Of Returning To One’s Gothy Roots
Oh Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners really did intend to have this lesson at Gothic Charm School be about the basics of a Goth wardrobe, really she did. But the Lady of the Manners received letters from a few … Continue reading
Posted in Being Fashionable, Growing Pains
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Of Goths and School Dress Codes
Autumn means back to school, or it least it does according to most calendars and retail establishments. Of course, for many school-age Goths, back to school also means back to being harassed about what they prefer to wear. The Lady … Continue reading
Posted in General, Growing Pains
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The Lady of the Manners in BUST magazine!
The October/November issue of BUST magazine has an interview with the Lady of the Manners! The Lady of the Manners has been a fan of the funny, fierce, and always thought-provoking magazine for ages and ages, so she is very … Continue reading
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Of Goths and Pregnancy, the Follow-Up
Goodness, Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners has always been impressed with the Power Of The Internet that our shadowy subculture has at its communal fingers, but didn’t expect quite such the flurry of helpful responses when she asked for … Continue reading
Of Goths and Pregnancy
Snarklings, remember all those jokes the Lady of the Manners has made over the years about how there is no Goth Cabal or Gothic Hivemind? The Lady of the Manners is starting to entertain some doubts about that. Around the same time that some of the Lady of the Manners’ friends announced they were pregnant, various letters started pitter-pattering into the Gothic Charm School mailbox, full of questions about the unique dilemmas that Goth moms-to-be face. Well. The Lady of the Manners is not one to ignore serendipity, especially when it lands in her mailbox. Continue reading
Posted in General, Growing Pains
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Of Questions Concerning One’s Wardrobe
Snarklings, remember how at the end of the last lesson, the Lady of the Manners said she was going to write about something less fraught? Perhaps something like fashion advice? Goodness, flocks* of you took that to heart; all sorts of letters with wardrobe questions arrived in the Gothic Charm School mailbox.
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(*There never has been any sort of agreement on what is the proper collective noun for a collection of Goths, has there? The Lady of the Manners is fond of gloom, as in “a gloom of Goths”, but has also seen bleakness, brood, clot, shroud, and sulk all used.)
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However, enough chatter about etymology and the naming of things! Onwards to Snarklings’ questions about fashion! Continue reading
Posted in Being Fashionable
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Of Self Harm (There’s More To This Lesson Than “Please Don’t”)
Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners has to ask: what on earth have you creatures been doing to yourselves? The Lady of the Manners has gotten an absolute slew of letters recently from Snarklings worried about their friends. Even worse has been the flurry of letters from Snarklings who are worried about themselves. The common point of worry? Cutting.
Now, the Lady of the Manners wants to make it quite clear to all of you that she is not about to turn Gothic Charm School into a syrupy after-school special.
However.
The Lady of the Manners also wants to make it quite clear that self harm is not good. No matter what sort of stress you or people close to you may be suffering, hurting yourself is not going to improve the situation. Oh, the Lady of the Manners understands the train of thought that can lead to cutting or other self-damaging habits. When one is extremely upset or near panic from stress, the idea of inflicting a small amount of damage that one can control as a release is terribly seductive. But the idea is a trap, because that small, controlled amount of self-harm can lead to larger problems: the need to keep secrets from people you are close to, for fear that they won’t understand; the shame, because maybe you feel that you should be able to cope with everything, and that cutting yourself is just one more failure on your part; the fear that if people knew you did this sort of thing, they wouldn’t understand why, and perhaps think that you’re just doing it as a manipulative ploy for attention. Or they’ll think that you are in life-threatening danger and in need of constant supervision.
Continue reading
Posted in General, Growing Pains
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