Category Archives: Growing Pains

Of Goths and Aging

Posted on January, 2025 by Lady of the Manners

Let’s get one thing out of the way right off the bat: there is no age limit to being a goth. Goth is an all-ages subculture, no matter what a lot of social media tends to focus on or present. One of the great joys of aging is that you become more comfortable with yourself, and (hopefully) care less and less about what others may think about you. Embrace and show your weirdness! Be comfortable in your spooky skin! Continue reading →

Posted in Elder Goths, Eldergoth Life, General, Growing Pains | Tagged , | 13 Comments

Of Dealing with Parents

Posted on May, 2022 by Lady of the Manners

be supportive. Or at the very least, not react with fear and disapproval. But alas, that ideal world doesn’t exist. So what can you do when your parents react poorly to the unfurling of your spooky self? Continue reading →

Posted in General, Growing Pains, Serious Matters | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

Of Reclaiming Goth for Yourself

Posted on July, 2021 by Lady of the Manners

How do you reclaim Goth for yourself when it’s ended up with uncomfortable personal associations? Continue reading →

Posted in General, Growing Pains, Serious Matters | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Of Goth Nostalgia

Posted on January, 2021 by Lady of the Manners

There are many, many things from Ye Olde Goth Days (Nights?) where the memories spring forth, flatteringly colored by the flickering candlelight of memory. And it takes a determined effort to also remember that the distance of time blunts the sharp, painful edges of those memories. Continue reading →

Posted in Amusements, Elder Goths, General, Stereotype Technology | Tagged , , | 9 Comments

Of “Grown-up” and Corporate Goth

Posted on October, 2019 by Lady of the Manners

It falls to the Lady of the Manners to inform you, Snarklings, that a cycle is repeating itself. Apparently the fashion industry has yet again discovered us. As reported by the Wall Street Journal, no less. Continue reading →

Posted in Fashion, Growing Pains | Tagged , , , | 9 Comments

The Never-Ending Goth Debate

Posted on November, 2018 by Lady of the Manners

It is time, Snarklings, for the Lady of the Manners to delve back into a topic that is resurrected wherever goths gather. Well, perhaps “resurrected” is the wrong term, because the Lady of the Manners is very aware that this topic has never died. Ever. This fight discussion probably lurched forward at the very instant the subculture coalesced out of the shadows: what is goth? Continue reading →

Posted in Elder Goths, Serious Matters | Tagged , , | 22 Comments

You Don’t Have to Be Neurotypical

Posted on October, 2018 by Lady of the Manners

As the Lady of the Manners has mentioned before, she is frequently humbled by some of the heartfelt, heartsore letters that Snarklings have written to Gothic Charm School. And the Lady of the Manners often worries that she isn’t really able to help; she’s a well-meaning Internet Auntie, not a professional. But even with those concerns, she IS determined to help as much as she’s able, because that’s what everyone should do. Sometimes the help is focused on music, clothing, and books, and sometimes it’s focused on reassuring people that they are a goth. And sometimes, it’s a little bit of both. Continue reading →

Posted in Fashion, Growing Pains, Serious Matters | Tagged , , , | 17 Comments

Of “Rules”, and Questions from Different Ends of the Age Spectrum

Posted on May, 2018 by Lady of the Manners

The Lady of the Manners didn’t mean to hide and take a nap for a large portion of the spring, really she didn’t. But sometimes these things happen. However, a few bits of Goth Upkeep information that the Lady of the Manners feels you should know:

  • Crypts and haunted mansions, while lovely and gloomy, still won’t protect you from pollen-induced allergies.
  • MAC Liquidlast liner will stay on through allergy attacks, naps, showers, and possibly anything else.
  • Milani Cosmetics Infinite Liquid Eyeliner is a perfect duplicate of Liquidlast, and is available in drugstores.
  • If you use either of those liquid liners, you will need to use an oil-based remover to get them off your face. (The Lady of the Manners uses jojoba oil and baby wipes.)

And before the Lady of the Manners gets on to answering some questions, she has one other thing to tell you about! She and Rhias Hall are the hosts of a new podcast about horror novels from the 70s, 80s, and 90s: The Night Library! This podcast is inspired by the delightful book Paperbacks from Hell by Grady Hendrix. Your two hosts realized they had both read a vast number of the books in that tome, and the podcast is an excuse to reread and discuss them. Continue reading →

Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social, Elder Goths, Growing Pains, Love & Romance | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

A Selection of Questions and Answers

Posted on March, 2017 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! Please accept the Lady of the Manners’ heartfelt apologies for the lack of posts the past few months; while she’s been relatively active over on Tumblr and Instagram, the ongoing chaos of daily life has meant there’s been precious little time for sitting down and answering letters. But! Gothic Charm School has returned, and will (one hopes) settle back into a routine of regular posts. However, enough with the explanations and apologies, it’s time for letters! Continue reading →

Posted in Elder Goths, Fashion, General, Growing Pains, Serious Matters | 12 Comments

Of Babybats Striving to Become Themselves

Posted on November, 2016 by Lady of the Manners

The Lady of the Manners gets political: The world has become a much scarier place for a lot of us, and we need to pull together.

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After the previous Gothic Charm School post about Eldergoths, the Lady of the Manners decided she should give some attention to her younger readers, too.
Continue reading →

Posted in General, Growing Pains, Important Announcements, Serious Matters | Tagged , , | 9 Comments