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Meta
Category Archives: Being Mannerly
Of “Rules”, and Questions from Different Ends of the Age Spectrum
The Lady of the Manners didn’t mean to hide and take a nap for a large portion of the spring, really she didn’t. But sometimes these things happen. However, a few bits of Goth Upkeep information that the Lady of the Manners feels you should know:
- Crypts and haunted mansions, while lovely and gloomy, still won’t protect you from pollen-induced allergies.
- MAC Liquidlast liner will stay on through allergy attacks, naps, showers, and possibly anything else.
- Milani Cosmetics Infinite Liquid Eyeliner is a perfect duplicate of Liquidlast, and is available in drugstores.
- If you use either of those liquid liners, you will need to use an oil-based remover to get them off your face. (The Lady of the Manners uses jojoba oil and baby wipes.)
And before the Lady of the Manners gets on to answering some questions, she has one other thing to tell you about! She and Rhias Hall are the hosts of a new podcast about horror novels from the 70s, 80s, and 90s: The Night Library! This podcast is inspired by the delightful book Paperbacks from Hell by Grady Hendrix. Your two hosts realized they had both read a vast number of the books in that tome, and the podcast is an excuse to reread and discuss them. Continue reading
Of Werewolves. Werewolves and Goth.
The Lady of the Manners feels like she needs to state that the question in this edition of Gothic Charm School is one she had never received before. Which isn’t to say it’s bad, or creepy, or unsettling! Just ”¦ this isn’t something that people have asked before. It comes from a young spooky creature: Continue reading
On Dealing With Personal Questions
Hello, Snarklings! Oh good heavens, is it summer already? As she has said before, the Lady of the Manners much prefers autumn. Especially October, which also happens to be the name of the Snarkling who wrote to Gothic Charm School asking for advice in dealing with personal questions:
Dearest Lady of the Manners,
I am a recovering socially anxious wreck, in so many words. I am a generally shy person, but I am trying to be better about how I speak to people I don’t know. I hoped you would have some advice to help me. See, I, at the ripe old age of 21, have just entered my first relationship ever, and it is with another lady. Naturally, people tend to have questions, which I understand. However, I am a very private person, and I get very uncomfortable when people ask me personal questions, such as how serious the relationship is, what exactly my sexual orientation is, and so forth. I tend to regress to my less polite behaviors, either one-word grunting answers, or simply telling them it is none of their damn business. I feel like there is a better way to answer questions like these, but I get so nervous and uncomfortable that I don’t think my answers through. If you have any advice at all, it would be most appreciated.
Yours,
October C
Congratulations on your relationship! The Lady of the Manners hopes that you and your lady are very happy. As to your question; while the Lady of the Manners supports you in learning to be better about talking to people you don’t know, she also suspects you think you owe those people answers. To be perfectly honest, you don’t. Continue reading
Posted in Being Mannerly, General, Serious Matters
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Of Someone Not Sure About This Whole Goth Thing
Hello Snarklings! In this installment of Gothic Charm School, the Lady of the Manners is going to revisit a question that turns up somewhat frequently in the Gothic Charm School mailbox; this time, however, there’s a bit of a twist to it.
Stranded Fashionista wrote with what they call a bit of an existential crisis:
question: How do you know if you’re Goth or not? I’ve never considered myself anywhere close to Goth- but my friends who are more versed in the culture have pointed out that a lot of the things I like are “Goth.” It’s odd to think that I may be part of a sub-culture that I’ve sub-consciously judged for a lot of my life. I’m not exactly sure what help you can give- but, this is causing me a bit of existential crisis.
Posted in Being Fashionable, Being Mannerly, General
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Goth Life Beyond Club-Land
Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners is, once again, very amused by how the world works at times. She had been pondering a particular popular misconception about Goth life, and idly contemplating writing a post about it. And then, surprise surprise, a letter asking about that exact misconception arrived in the Gothic Charm School mailbox! Continue reading
Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social, Clubbing & Concerts
Tagged being a hermit, cliches, clubs, lifestyle
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Of Book Recommendations, Depression, And What Is In Your Purse.
Hello Snarklings! This installment of Gothic Charm School is another mixed selection of things, with book recommendations, helpful information from other readers, a question about depression, and some musings on what essentials should be in one’s handbag or backpack? Continue reading
Of Letters From Other Countries.
Yes, Snarklings: the Lady of the Manners is trying to get back into the habit of this updating regularly lark. So! This time at Gothic Charm School, letters from readers who live in very different parts of the world! Continue reading
Posted in Being Mannerly, Growing Pains, Serious Matters
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Of Goths Of Color
Snarklings, remember back in early July, when the Lady of the Manners asked for your help in answering a reader question? No? Here, let the Lady of the Manners refresh your memory about what a Snarkling named Oni asked:
Dear Lady of the Manners,
I’m new to your site and would like to say that this is a very reliable source for the Gothic lifestyle and for the onlookers. You don’t choose sides and its nice and equal. Although I face one MAJOR problem in the lifestyle. I’m of African-American descent and have noticed that I cannot find good makeup tips and fashion for us goths of a darker shade, which makes me feel left out. Not only that but many other goths that I have encountered have tended to have a very “racist” attitude toward goths of a darker shade things like “Oh! I have never seen YOUR kind” or “I didn’t know there were black goths around”. There absolutely needs to be more diversity in the subculture and someone needs to break the mold in fashion.
At that time, the Lady of the Manners replied with:
Oni, you are absolutely right, there needs to be more diversity in the Goth subculture. The Lady of the Manners cannot stress that strongly enough, and is sad to read some of the attitudes and comments you’ve had to deal with.
However ”¦ the Lady of the Manners is a well-intentioned white girl, who wants to give helpful advice, but is operating from a position of cluelessness. Which is why, Snarklings, she is turning to you. Other Goths of color, please speak up!
Well, the time has come, Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners has read through all sorts of interesting mail from helpful Snarklings, and hopes that the following advice is what Oni (and other readers!) were looking for. Continue reading
Portland! New Gothic Charm School Merchandise! And When Not To Explain That You’re Not Wearing A Costume.
Forgive the Lady of the Manners if this post seems a little scattered, Snarklings. The trip to San Diego Comic-Con was amazing, but just the teensiest bit overwhelming. But oh yes, the Lady of the Manners wants to go back next year. Be sure to scamper over to the Lip Service Webzine to read the book tour diary installment about all the hijinks!
Thank you to all of you Snarklings who came to the Gothic Charm School autograph session or who recognized the Lady of the Manners in the Exhibit Hall and said hi! Meeting the people who read Gothic Charm School has been the best thing about the book tour. The Lady of the Manners wishes that she were able to visit more cities and meet more of you, but alas, a book tour budget only stretches so far. Continue reading
Posted in Amusements, Being Fashionable, Being Mannerly, Clicky-links, Events
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Responding to Insulting and Mean Comments
Hello Snarklings! This time at Gothic Charm School, the Lady of the Manners is going to deal with a subject that both she and goths everywhere are sadly all too familiar with: people directing unkind or mean-spirited comments at you. Ophelia sent in the following question: Continue reading →