October Weddings

Posted on October, 2002 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Faithful Readers, and welcome to the October musings at Gothic Charm School. Now, let’s see ”” October is the traditional time for the Lady of the Manners to burble gleefully about Halloween, isn’t it? The gothy things to do (and NOT to do), the reasons why cheap Halloween makeup shouldn’t be substituted for club makeup (no matter how enticing the sale price is), you know, the usual sort of thing. Guess what? Not this year. Nope. This year, the Lady of the Manners is going to devote an entire column to another fine gothic tradition for October.

Weddings. Continue reading →

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The Internet Is Not Real Life

Posted on September, 2002 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Faithful Readers, and welcome to another month’s holding forth at Gothic Charm School. This month, the Lady of the Manners had intended to write a “back to school” sort of column, something for the swarms of gothlings toddling back to various institutions of learning. But! As usual, just when the Lady of the Manners thinks she has what she’s going to write all mapped out, something comes hurtling out of the black that she MUST write about, else her head will explode. So look for a “being goth and surviving school” topic in the near future.

So what topic is threatening to make the Lady of the Manners faint from the shock and annoyance of it all? Well, a kind of big one, actually. One that the Lady of the Manners wants ALL of you to pay close attention to, and to also make your various friends and acquaintances read this column (the Lady of the Manners would like to think you’re doing that anyway, but especially wants to make sure you do it this month). The topic?

The Internet is not real life. Not by a long shot.
Continue reading →

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Gracefully Becoming A Hermit

Posted on August, 2002 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Faithful Readers, and welcome to another spine-tingling edition of Gothic Charm School. This month, the Lady of the Manners is going to talk about a subject that’s been on her mind frequently of late, something that has been rattling around in her head for the past few months:

Becoming a hermit, and doing it gracefully.

You see, dear readers, everyone (and the Lady of the Manners means everyone) hits a point where they just want to retreat from the world and become a homebody for a while, for all sorts of reasons. Work, school, projects that need attention, exhaustion, or just the need to “slow down” ”” all of these are perfectly valid causes to make a person drop out of the social whirlpool. Continue reading →

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Flirting and Dating and Romance, Oh My!

Posted on July, 2002 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Faithful Readers, and welcome to another month’s gentle lecturing at Gothic Charm School. This month the topic is one that the Lady of the Manners really didn’t think she’d need to hold forth on, but conversations in her little corner of the “scene” have (once again) proven her wrong.

Flirting and dating.

Now admittedly, those two things can cause a lot of angst, tortured internal monologues, and long phone calls or emails to close friends. That’s fine. However, all of that should NOT be prompted by glaring lapses in common courtesy or manners by one or both parties. The Lady of the Manners was shocked, shocked she tells you, by some of the tales of woe related to her recently by friends. With that in mind, the Lady of the Manners offers to you, her Faithful Readers, a handy list of rules for flirting and dating. The Lady of the Manners wouldn’t go so far as to suggest you print it out and carry it with you at all times, but perhaps multiple readings would be helpful. Continue reading →

Posted in Love & Romance | Leave a comment

Flirting and Dating and Romance, Oh My!

Posted on July, 2002 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Faithful Readers, and welcome to another month’s gentle lecturing at Gothic Charm School. This month the topic is one that the Lady of the Manners really didn’t think she’d need to hold forth on, but conversations in her little corner of the “scene” have (once again) proven her wrong.

Flirting and dating.

Now admittedly, those two things can cause a lot of angst, tortured internal monologues, and long phone calls or emails to close friends. That’s fine. However, all of that should NOT be prompted by glaring lapses in common courtesy or manners by one or both parties. The Lady of the Manners was shocked, shocked she tells you, by some of the tales of woe related to her recently by friends. With that in mind, the Lady of the Manners offers to you, her Faithful Readers, a handy list of rules for flirting and dating. The Lady of the Manners wouldn’t go so far as to suggest you print it out and carry it with you at all times, but perhaps multiple readings would be helpful. Continue reading →

Posted in Love & Romance | Leave a comment

“But Why Are You With THEM?!”

Posted on June, 2002 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Faithful Readers, and welcome to yet another fun-filled column at Gothic Charm School. This month the subject is something that the Lady of the Manners and her social circle have been having to struggle with recently themselves – just how DOES one handle the delicate situation when a dear friend is romantically involved with someone that one detests?

Well, maybe *detests* is a little strong, but there is no getting around the fact that sometimes friends date people that we don’t like. Don’t like, don’t approve of, don’t understand what they see in them ”¦ you get the picture. *Anyway*, after having endured several social events in the company of a friend and their special someone who was less than pleasant, the Lady of the Manners realized that even though her nerves were somewhat stretched, she certainly had a topic for a column. And now that the “behind the scenes” exposition is taken care of ”¦ Continue reading →

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Socializing at Clubs

Posted on May, 2002 by Lady of the Manners

Hello, Faithful Readers, and welcome to this month’s Gothic Charm School column. This month, the Lady of the Manners is going to carry through on the threa . . . promise she made at the end of last month’s column. That’s right, this month is going to be all about the etiquette for SOCIALIZING at clubs. (Not, she hastens to point out, general etiquette for club-going. The Lady of the Manners feels that she should probably leave that pet rant to sleep peacefully for another few months or so, and is going to try very very hard not to start carping on about inconsiderate people who take lit cigarettes onto crowded dance floors.)

Ahem. Yes, socializing at clubs. You would think it would be something of a no-brainer, wouldn’t you? Show up, talk to your friends, be distant but polite to the people you don’t like, go home. Alas, the Lady of the Manners has discovered that really and truly, nothing is as simple as it seems. So, in the interests of peace and harmony amongst the black-clad masses in ClubLand, here are some guidelines she came up with: Continue reading →

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Goths and Traveling

Posted on April, 2002 by Lady of the Manners

Hello, Faithful Readers, and welcome to yet another month’s worth of musings at Gothic Charm School. This time, to start things off, a brief, appetizer-like announcement: the Gothic Charm School Archives website is sloooooooowly being built over at www.gothic-charm-school.com. Shiny new columns will still be here every month at Gothic.Net, don’t fret; the Lady of the Manners just felt that she really should do something with all those past columns sitting around on her hard drive. Be warned ”” when the Lady of the Manners says sloooooooowly being built ”” she isn’t joking. But it should be a suitably entertaining diversion for everyone concerned, so do pay a visit.

Now, as for this month’s topic: Well, the Lady of the Manners just got back from a trip to Japan (which was wonderful, and she would like to go back soon), which means that what is rattling around in her brain is . . . advice for Goths Who Are Traveling! Ta-da! Continue reading →

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LiveJournals

Posted on March, 2002 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Faithful Readers, and welcome to March’s rousing rendition of Gothic Charm School. *This* month the Lady of the Manners is finally going to make good on something she’s been muttering about for a couple months now. That’s right, the long-threatened LiveJournal etiquette rant! Er ”¦ column.

Now first off, the Lady of the Manners wants to make it perfectly clear that she isn’t opposed to the idea of LiveJournal, bloggers, or any other on-line diaries. Once she got over her dismay at the idea of keeping a personal diary that anyone with an Internet connection could find and read – a diary that was public, and not written by hand in a beautiful velvet-covered book and oh dear, there goes the Lady of the Manners showing her Luddite roots again ”¦ Continue reading →

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Sub-culture cross-overs

Posted on February, 2002 by Lady of the Manners

Helllooo Faithful Readers, and welcome to February’s Gothic Charm School. Now as some of you will remember, in Februarys past the Lady of the Manners has talked about the etiquette of romance and break-ups. Appropriate behavior, what NOT to say, that sort of thing. And she very nearly decided to talk some more about that subject, since it seems that several of her friends have decided to ”¦ re-group themselves. However, the Lady of the Manners decided against it. This month, the Lady of the Manners is going to talk about something that is becoming more and more of a burning issue in GothyLand ”” good manners for the ever-increasing cross-pollination between the fetish and gothic communities.

Oh yes, that cross-pollination is happening, didn’t you notice? Which is fine and dandy, because there are some mutual points of interest amongst the two sub-cultures; interesting or exotic clothes, some types of music, being regarded as a trifle odd by other people if and when you talk about what your hobbies are, and so on. Even with those things in common, there are still some issues that require sensitivity and tact from everyone in both camps. Luckily for all of you, the Lady of the Manners has come up with some guidelines to apply to just those sorts of situations. Continue reading →

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