Category Archives: Love & Romance

Of “Rules”, and Questions from Different Ends of the Age Spectrum

The Lady of the Manners didn’t mean to hide and take a nap for a large portion of the spring, really she didn’t. But sometimes these things happen. However, a few bits of Goth Upkeep information that the Lady of the Manners feels you should know:

  • Crypts and haunted mansions, while lovely and gloomy, still won’t protect you from pollen-induced allergies.
  • MAC Liquidlast liner will stay on through allergy attacks, naps, showers, and possibly anything else.
  • Milani Cosmetics Infinite Liquid Eyeliner is a perfect duplicate of Liquidlast, and is available in drugstores.
  • If you use either of those liquid liners, you will need to use an oil-based remover to get them off your face. (The Lady of the Manners uses jojoba oil and baby wipes.)

And before the Lady of the Manners gets on to answering some questions, she has one other thing to tell you about! She and Rhias Hall are the hosts of a new podcast about horror novels from the 70s, 80s, and 90s: The Night Library! This podcast is inspired by the delightful book Paperbacks from Hell by Grady Hendrix. Your two hosts realized they had both read a vast number of the books in that tome, and the podcast is an excuse to reread and discuss them. Continue reading

Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social, Elder Goths, Growing Pains, Love & Romance | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Of Gifts and Relationship Talks

Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners didn’t intend to lapse into silence again, really she didn’t! But there was work, and travel, and then more work, and even more travel. And, well. Time scampered on by, as it does. Yes, the Lady of the Manners was posting fairly regularly over on Tumblr and Instagram (where, if you go back in the archives to the beginning of May, you’ll find photos from Bats Day and the Vampire Masquerade Ball, which was part of the aforementioned travel), but that’s not the same as writing posts for Gothic Charm School!

So! The Lady of the Manners is slowly excavating the Gothic Charm School inbox, and getting back into the swing of answering reader questions! Continue reading

Posted in Love & Romance | 9 Comments

Gothy Valentines!

This may come as a surprise to some of you, but the Lady of the Manners adores Valentine’s Day. Chocolate! Roses! Pink and red accents to things! Giving silly cards to your friends and loved ones! Yes, it’s overcommercialized; yes, it can make people keenly aware of whatever their relationship status is, for good or for ill; but don’t give into bitterness or despair, Snarklings! Valentine’s Day is for showing affection and kindness to people that matter to you, not just for romantic gestures. Look for the silliest box of kiddie Valentine cards that you can find, then send them to people you think need a spot of whimsy in their life. Send your friends links to pictures of adorable animals that make you think of them. Valentine’s Day is what you make of it, and it’s equally about celebrating friendship and platonic love as it is about romantic love. Continue reading

Posted in General, Holidays & Special Occasions, Love & Romance | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

Of Confiscated Clothing, Dangerous Classmates, And Disapproving Fiancés

Questions, Snarklings! So many questions! In fact, the Lady of the Manners isn’t going to spend any more time writing an introductory paragraph or two, but is going to jump straight to answering letters from readers. Such as this one, from Wayward Victorian: Continue reading

Posted in Growing Pains, Love & Romance, Serious Matters | Leave a comment

Of San Diego Comic-Con, Portland, And A Reader Suffering School Torments.

The NYC stop of the Gothic Charm School tour was oodles of fun, Snarklings! (If a bit humid.) The reading at The Mysterious Bookshop was lovely, and the Lady of the Manners was delighted to meet all of you who turned up there. The picnic at the Green-Wood Cemetery was everything the Lady of the Manners had hoped for and more! Goregously-dressed creatures, a historic cemetery, and weather that turned out to be pleasant instead of sweltering and sticky like the day before. Pictures from the events can be found over at the Gothic Charm School Flickr Group! Continue reading

Posted in Being Social, Growing Pains, Love & Romance, News | Leave a comment

Of Goths And Aging Gracefully

Oh Snarklings, you do know how to cheer up the Lady of the Manners, don’t you? Sending in questions about how to age gracefully and still proudly display your shadowy tendencies; a topic near and dear to the Lady of the Manners’ heart, indeed!

A Snarkling who is a fellow ElderGoth wrote in to ask the following:

Dear Lady of the Manners –
I have, alas, reached that awful age of (shall I say it?)… maturity. In fact, this year I shall be forced to celebrate my 21st birthday for the 32nd time..

I know you gave advice on dressing to a professional who was turning 37… ah, those were the days.. but what about a home-bound Goth who’s a great deal older. Makeup, yes – but how much is too much for the eyes that are gaining crows-feet and just when does one give up and start letting the grey streaks appear?

I don’t want to look like a silly old bat who can’t see the mirror too well anymore, but I don’t want to give up being a romantigoth either. What does an elder Goth do??
Continue reading

Posted in Being Fashionable, Clubbing & Concerts, Growing Pains, Love & Romance | Leave a comment

Of Book Reviews Concerning Vampire People, with an Addendum Concerning Sex and Gossip

Yes, Snarklings, this episode of Gothic Charm School is a book review. A review for a book that the Lady of the Manners thinks is wonderful, but in case some of you aren’t interested in books or book reviews (and if that’s the case, the Lady of the Manners feels very sad for you), the Lady of the Manners does also answer some mail from readers afterward.

So. Remember in the last installment of Gothic Charm School, when the Lady of the Manners mentioned her friend Allyson Beatrice, author of Will the Vampire People Please Leave the Lobby? Why yes, that was foreshadowing, because that is indeed the book the Lady of the Manners has been exclaiming delightedly about, to anyone who will hold still for even a few seconds. Will the Vampire People Please Leave the Lobby? (From Sourcebooks, Inc.) is a collection of essays about what life is like on the Internet; specifically, what life is like on the Internet and what sort of friendships and connections can made in fandom. Continue reading

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On Goths Dating Non-Goths; Or Dating Outside One’s Subcultural Boundries and Why It’s Okay.

The Lady of the Manners must say, Snarklings, that she has been delighted with the letters she’s lately been receiving from all of you. Oodles of letters about all sorts of things; some of you even have been asking for help with clothing and cosmetics, two subjects the Lady of the Manners is always happy to natter on about.

But! The Lady of the Manners is not going to indulge in Holding Forth about fashion things this month. No, this month the Lady of the Manners is going to talk about a dilemma that is a concern for many Goths: can a Goth find happiness in giving their heart to someone who is not one of the spooky and black-clad throng?

Those of you with long memories may recall that the Lady of the Manners has talked about this subject before. But it seems that there are many of you out there who aren’t sure if you can or should date outside the subculture; the letter from Madeline that is quoted below is one of several the Lady of the Manners has received recently. Continue reading

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Flirting and Dating and Romance, Oh My!

Hello Faithful Readers, and welcome to another month’s gentle lecturing at Gothic Charm School. This month the topic is one that the Lady of the Manners really didn’t think she’d need to hold forth on, but conversations in her little corner of the “scene” have (once again) proven her wrong.

Flirting and dating.

Now admittedly, those two things can cause a lot of angst, tortured internal monologues, and long phone calls or emails to close friends. That’s fine. However, all of that should NOT be prompted by glaring lapses in common courtesy or manners by one or both parties. The Lady of the Manners was shocked, shocked she tells you, by some of the tales of woe related to her recently by friends. With that in mind, the Lady of the Manners offers to you, her Faithful Readers, a handy list of rules for flirting and dating. The Lady of the Manners wouldn’t go so far as to suggest you print it out and carry it with you at all times, but perhaps multiple readings would be helpful. Continue reading

Posted in Love & Romance | Leave a comment

Flirting and Dating and Romance, Oh My!

Hello Faithful Readers, and welcome to another month’s gentle lecturing at Gothic Charm School. This month the topic is one that the Lady of the Manners really didn’t think she’d need to hold forth on, but conversations in her little corner of the “scene” have (once again) proven her wrong.

Flirting and dating.

Now admittedly, those two things can cause a lot of angst, tortured internal monologues, and long phone calls or emails to close friends. That’s fine. However, all of that should NOT be prompted by glaring lapses in common courtesy or manners by one or both parties. The Lady of the Manners was shocked, shocked she tells you, by some of the tales of woe related to her recently by friends. With that in mind, the Lady of the Manners offers to you, her Faithful Readers, a handy list of rules for flirting and dating. The Lady of the Manners wouldn’t go so far as to suggest you print it out and carry it with you at all times, but perhaps multiple readings would be helpful. Continue reading

Posted in Love & Romance | Leave a comment