Gothic Charm School

Greetings, Faithful Readers, and welcome to 2001! Now, the Lady of the Manners realizes that she promised at the end of her December column that she would, in this month’s column, talk about how being a jeans-and-t-shirt goth was perfectly acceptable. And she IS going to talk about that. However, she’s going to slip some other topics in at the end of the column, and thought it was only fair to warn you.

Now, the Lady of the Manners is sure that there are whole swarms of you out there who are goths of the jeans and t-shirt variety who don’t need someone else to tell you that YES, you really are a goth. But! You would be amazed at the number of emails Gothic Charm School gets all the time from young gothlings, saying things such as, “My friend said I’m not a REAL goth,” just because they (unlike their friends, apparently) choose to wear jeans and t-shirts. So the Lady of the Manners would like to take this opportunity to address THEIR fears. Continue reading →

Hello, Faithful Readers, and welcome to December’s edition of Gothic Charm School. This month we have a letter from a reader to answer; a letter that contains a few questions AND a compliment for the Lady of the Manners. The Lady of the Manners likes getting compliments very much, but will answer reader concerns that come without compliments. Really. Even tho’ the Lady of the Manners has been told of late that she looks quite fetching in her new hat. But, enough of preening! Onwards to the Delicate Query of Our Reader.

Dear Gothic Charm School,

I must first offer my shameless worship of whom I believe to be one of the last true “ladies” in this new era of goth. Also I wish to commend you on your quest to reinstate manners among the mass of goth society. to quote an now departed friend of mine: “It is just common courtesy, and without it you are just common.”

Now to the question. I am myself a “small town goth”, which means I am a subculture unto myself for the most part. This is typically harder because of the fact I am male and the majority of the populace is, to use a crude term, rednecks. It is a constant battle with family and strangers just top gain acceptance for being a person not a sideshow freak. Take into account that the only differences in my dress and the majority around me is the fact that you will never find me without my black nails, dark clothing, and shiny rings. I have not attempted, though I dream of doing so, decked myself out in complete velvet loveliness as of yet and my clothing is very normal, except for the color. Yet I am still on the edge of ridicule at all times. Faggot, queer, and fucker follow me at all times. (forgive the profanity)

I attempt to use manners in my defense and as an example to others of how I truly am on the inside, but i find that snarky demon that lives inside of me is finding more and more openings to lash out with acid comments. These never go over well and I truly try to keep them in, but the odd one always slips out.

There are no clubs or retreats for me in this little portion of “booneyvill” except for the net. Yet there again I risk, when I actually get away and find myself with others of my kind in a larger city, of being ostracized as a net goth who knows nothing of the “scene.” Any advice would be very helpful.

Thank you for your time.
Jonathan

Continue reading →

Hello, Faithful Readers, and welcome to your monthly installment of advice and etiquette! Now this month, the Lady of the Manners is going to hold forth on a subject she hasn’t had to personally deal with in a while ”¦ roommates. (When one is married, one’s spouse is not considered a roommate. Really. It’s a subtle distinction, but the Lady of the Manners trusts that when or if any of you get married, you’ll understand what she means.)

Roommates are quirky creatures. On one hand, they can be your closest friend and confidant; on the other hand, they can be the evil thing that borrows your clothes without asking first and leaves the bathroom resembling a disaster area. Sometimes, they’re all those things ”” the trick is to have a roommate with more good qualities than bad, and make sure that you don’t unthinkingly annoy them as much as or more than they can potentially annoy you. Continue reading →