Category Archives: Growing Pains

Of Writing Stereotypes and Being Exasperated

Posted on December, 2015 by Lady of the Manners

Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners is trying to rouse herself from the depths of winter hibernation, but gracious, it’s difficult. Still, she has made her way to the goblin city unwrapped herself from fuzzy blankets and brewed an extra-strong pot of tea so she can answer reader questions! Continue reading →

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Of Goths, P.E., and “Is It Dark Enough?”

Posted on March, 2014 by Lady of the Manners

Hello, Snarklings! The Gothic Charm School mailbox has been receiving a steady stream of letters from babybats with fashion questions. Which is no surprise, because as fledgling spooksters, of course they’re looking for guidance on how to express their affection for all things dark and shadowy. The Lady of the Manners feels that she should take a moment to point out some previous Gothic Charm School posts about gothy fashion, as it is a topic the Lady of the Manners really likes talking about. (And oh goodness, the Lady of the Manners probably should do another post about prom, shouldn’t she?) But! The current crop of correspondence did have a few fashion-focused questions that have not turned up before. Continue reading →

Posted in Being Fashionable, Growing Pains | 21 Comments

Returning to the Spooky Life (Back to the Crypt)

Posted on February, 2014 by Lady of the Manners

Every now and then, Snarklings, the Gothic Charm School mailbox sees a gently flurry of correspondence from older readers asking about returning to their gothy roots. How should they dress? Where can they find other older Goths? Are they too old to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade return to the velvet-shrouded gloom? Continue reading →

Posted in Elder Goths, Growing Pains | 16 Comments

Of Being Who You Want to Be, and Not Knowing What the Future Holds.

Posted on October, 2013 by Lady of the Manners

Snarklings, it appears it’s again time for a discussion of how to continue being the person you want to be. There are so many letters from you darling odd creatures out there fretting about how to stay true to your gothy inclinations! Continue reading →

Posted in Growing Pains, Serious Matters | 12 Comments

Of Dealing With School Dress Codes

Posted on September, 2013 by Lady of the Manners

It’s that time of year again, Snarklings. Autumn! Which brings not just cooler weather (very important with regard to a typical Goth wardrobe), but a flurry of letters, much like drifts of falling leaves, from young Goths heading back to school. Dress codes! How, oh how can they cope with their school’s dress code and still proudly show their ties to the Goth subculture? (This post lists previous lessons on school dress codes.)

Thing the First: The Lady of the Manners is going to reassure all of you (as she’s done before) that you don’t have to dress in a goth style to be a goth. No, no you don’t. Ignore those people who say you aren’t a Real Goth â„¢ unless you are draped in black fabric and spend every minute of your life, awake or asleep, looking as spooky and undead as possible. Continue reading →

Posted in Growing Pains | 24 Comments

Of Fashion Choices and of Feeling Like A Fake

Posted on June, 2013 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! Eventually the Lady of the Manners will get her bewildering array of projects under some sort of control and get back to writing new lessons for Gothic Charm School in a more frequent, regularly-scheduled fashion. Eventually. But let’s not dwell on the months that have passed since the last post, let’s jump into questions from readers! For this installment of Gothic Charm School, the Lady of the Manners decided to feature letters from readers that have questions and qualms about how they present themselves. The first letter is from Mistet Dreamer, with a question about proper attire: Continue reading →

Posted in Being Fashionable, General, Growing Pains | 22 Comments

Of Dealing With Your Parents

Posted on March, 2013 by Lady of the Manners

Snarklings, this it. This is the post in which the Lady of the Manners is going to attempt to address THE question that arrives in the Gothic Charm School mailbox the most often. Now, the Lady of the Manners has indeed addressed this question before, in various ways, but this is going to be the comprehensive answer to this dilemma that so many of you young Snarklings are facing.

The dilemma? Parents not approving of or letting you be a Goth.

First things first: if you are attracted to finding beauty in darkness, if you are fascinated by the macabre, the grotesque, and the morbid, if the music, literature, and aesthetics of Goth have wrapped their inky black tendrils around your heart, mind, and soul, then no one can change that or take that away from you. (Unless, of course, your tastes change, as sometimes they do, and that’s fine too.) If you have found a home in the Goth subculture, your parents expressing their disapproval or dismay at what appeals to you isn’t going to change that. No really, it isn’t. You may have to downplay your interest in the culture and its trappings, you may have to wait until you are off at school or have moved out on your own, but Goth isn’t going anywhere. It’s an artistic movement that has been around, in one form or another, for centuries. Continue reading →

Posted in General, Growing Pains, Serious Matters | Tagged , , | 92 Comments

Of Assorted Questions From Younger Readers

Posted on January, 2013 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! Oh gracious, it’s 2013. The Lady of the Manners apologizes for the break in updates here at Gothic Charm School, and is starting to suspect that perhaps she should just schedule an Official Late Autumn/Early Winter Break -type thing, because she is fairly certain she has had this sort of lapse before.

Anyway! All sorts of things are in the works here at Gothic Charm School — plans for interviews, reviews of music, clothing, cosmetics, books, dolls, and of course, answering reader letters! There are some rather serious topics that are going to be featured in upcoming posts, but the Lady of the Manners decided that the first post of 2013 should be more of a mixed assortment of questions from some of the younger readers of Gothic Charm School. (As always, the Lady of the Manners will do her utmost to not respond to queries from younger readers with coos of “Oh my goodness, you’re adorable!”, because she remembers what it was like to be a youngster with goth tendencies and wanting to be taken seriously.) Continue reading →

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Of Scary Books and Becoming Who You Want To Be.

Posted on November, 2012 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners hopes that all of you had a delightful Halloween holiday, and that if you went for the post-Halloween clearance sales you were able to stock up on all sorts of goodies. (The Lady of the Manners stocked up on spooky paper napkins and vampire-themed cupcake wrappers.)

This installment of Gothic Charm School is going to focus on some questions from the younger readers, and no, it’s not just going to be the Lady of the Manners exclaiming “Awwww, precious little babybats!” (Though in the interests of honesty and full disclosure, that is the first automatic reaction the Lady of the Manners has when reading letters from the younger Goths. She simply can’t can’t help herself.) Continue reading →

Posted in General, Growing Pains | 40 Comments

Of Being Compared To Pop Stars, And Of Finding Plus-Size Goth Fashion

Posted on September, 2012 by Lady of the Manners

Hello oh patient Snarklings! Yes, it’s time for another Gothic Charm School post with reader questions! This time there are two fashion-related questions: where to find plus-sized Goth clothes, and what to do when well-meaning family members have no real frame of reference for your personal style.
Continue reading →

Posted in Being Fashionable, General, Growing Pains | 38 Comments