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Meta
Category Archives: Serious Matters
Of Dealing with Parents
be supportive. Or at the very least, not react with fear and disapproval. But alas, that ideal world doesn’t exist. So what can you do when your parents react poorly to the unfurling of your spooky self? Continue reading
Posted in General, Growing Pains, Serious Matters
Tagged growing pains, parents, talking to your parents
4 Comments
Of Reclaiming Goth for Yourself
How do you reclaim Goth for yourself when it’s ended up with uncomfortable personal associations? Continue reading
“Not Pretty Enough” to be Goth
This is going to be a somewhat multi-topic post, Snarklings; well, not multi-topic, but two facets of one larger topic. Part the First: Over on the Gothic Charm School Tumblr (yes, the Lady of the Manners is still on Tumblr, … Continue reading
Of Goth Fashion for Accessibility and Chronic Health Issues
Dear Lady of Manners
My question is less one about etiquette, and more about logistics. I have my own mix of Victorian goth and punky style that I was perfectly happy with until fairly recently.
The problem is that around 3 years ago, my chronic health conditions deteriorated, and I had to start using a wheelchair full time. I can no longer stand or walk, and a large portion of my clothing is not suitable for wearing in a powered wheelchair. Continue reading
Posted in Being Fashionable, Fashion, Serious Matters
Tagged "cripplepunk", accessibility, wheelchair-friendly goth
10 Comments
Of Funeral Etiquette
Do you have any advice for goths on what to wear to a funeral? I’ve never been to one, and even though most of my wardrobe is black, I don’t really know what’s ”too much” (no massive skulls and bats, nothing cut too low, but beyond that), or even how to do my make up for it. Considering how much of my style and interest in art is based around Victorian mourning clothes and the abstract concept of Death I have no idea what I’m doing. Continue reading
Why Do Guys Like Goth Girls?
The Lady of the Manners will be honest, Snarklings: she’s been holding onto this reader question for a while, because there are many different things to address, and the Lady of the Manners felt a little overwhelmed.
I found your site interest [sic] and by mistake. Great site. Was looking up ”˜why guys like goth girls.’ Maybe you can answer that question for me real quick like. Anyway thanks for all what you do. Continue reading
The Never-Ending Goth Debate
It is time, Snarklings, for the Lady of the Manners to delve back into a topic that is resurrected wherever goths gather. Well, perhaps “resurrected” is the wrong term, because the Lady of the Manners is very aware that this topic has never died. Ever. This fight discussion probably lurched forward at the very instant the subculture coalesced out of the shadows: what is goth? Continue reading
Posted in Elder Goths, Serious Matters
Tagged gatekeepers, the never-ending argument, what is goth?
22 Comments
You Don’t Have to Be Neurotypical
As the Lady of the Manners has mentioned before, she is frequently humbled by some of the heartfelt, heartsore letters that Snarklings have written to Gothic Charm School. And the Lady of the Manners often worries that she isn’t really able to help; she’s a well-meaning Internet Auntie, not a professional. But even with those concerns, she IS determined to help as much as she’s able, because that’s what everyone should do. Sometimes the help is focused on music, clothing, and books, and sometimes it’s focused on reassuring people that they are a goth. And sometimes, it’s a little bit of both. Continue reading
Posted in Fashion, Growing Pains, Serious Matters
Tagged autism, goth fashion, growing pains, there is no Eldergoth Cabal
17 Comments
Of Struggling with Emotional and Mental Turmoil
The Lady of the Manners is going to be completely honest here, Snarklings: occasionally there are heartfelt, heartsore, and utterly brave people who write to Gothic Charm School, and the Lady of the Manners worries about how to answer, because what if she says the wrong things, y the wrong sort of advice? Because wanting to help people and be kind to them doesn’t change the fact that the Lady of the Manners is a well-intentioned auntie-by-proxy, and in no way a professional therapist.
But. BUT. The Lady of the Manners does want to help, and is humbled by the bravery shown by the readers who reach out to her. Because reaching out to anyone, even an auntie-by-proxy, about emotional and mental turmoil IS an act of bravery. Please never doubt that.
Continue reading