Tag Archives: growing pains

This is Not the Goth Nostalgia We Asked For: Wearing All Black is NOT a Danger Signal

You would think, considering how long the goth subculture has been undead and thriving, parents and schools these days wouldn’t be concerned when their children decide to explore goth. And yet. Continue reading

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Of Dealing with Parents

be supportive. Or at the very least, not react with fear and disapproval. But alas, that ideal world doesn’t exist. So what can you do when your parents react poorly to the unfurling of your spooky self? Continue reading

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You Don’t Have to Be Neurotypical

As the Lady of the Manners has mentioned before, she is frequently humbled by some of the heartfelt, heartsore letters that Snarklings have written to Gothic Charm School. And the Lady of the Manners often worries that she isn’t really able to help; she’s a well-meaning Internet Auntie, not a professional. But even with those concerns, she IS determined to help as much as she’s able, because that’s what everyone should do. Sometimes the help is focused on music, clothing, and books, and sometimes it’s focused on reassuring people that they are a goth. And sometimes, it’s a little bit of both. Continue reading

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Of Babybats Striving to Become Themselves

The Lady of the Manners gets political: The world has become a much scarier place for a lot of us, and we need to pull together.

After the previous Gothic Charm School post about Eldergoths, the Lady of the Manners decided she should give some attention to her younger readers, too.
Continue reading

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Of Dealing With Your Parents

Snarklings, this it. This is the post in which the Lady of the Manners is going to attempt to address THE question that arrives in the Gothic Charm School mailbox the most often. Now, the Lady of the Manners has indeed addressed this question before, in various ways, but this is going to be the comprehensive answer to this dilemma that so many of you young Snarklings are facing.

The dilemma? Parents not approving of or letting you be a Goth.

First things first: if you are attracted to finding beauty in darkness, if you are fascinated by the macabre, the grotesque, and the morbid, if the music, literature, and aesthetics of Goth have wrapped their inky black tendrils around your heart, mind, and soul, then no one can change that or take that away from you. (Unless, of course, your tastes change, as sometimes they do, and that’s fine too.) If you have found a home in the Goth subculture, your parents expressing their disapproval or dismay at what appeals to you isn’t going to change that. No really, it isn’t. You may have to downplay your interest in the culture and its trappings, you may have to wait until you are off at school or have moved out on your own, but Goth isn’t going anywhere. It’s an artistic movement that has been around, in one form or another, for centuries. Continue reading

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Of Assorted Questions From Younger Readers

Hello Snarklings! Oh gracious, it’s 2013. The Lady of the Manners apologizes for the break in updates here at Gothic Charm School, and is starting to suspect that perhaps she should just schedule an Official Late Autumn/Early Winter Break -type thing, because she is fairly certain she has had this sort of lapse before.

Anyway! All sorts of things are in the works here at Gothic Charm School — plans for interviews, reviews of music, clothing, cosmetics, books, dolls, and of course, answering reader letters! There are some rather serious topics that are going to be featured in upcoming posts, but the Lady of the Manners decided that the first post of 2013 should be more of a mixed assortment of questions from some of the younger readers of Gothic Charm School. (As always, the Lady of the Manners will do her utmost to not respond to queries from younger readers with coos of “Oh my goodness, you’re adorable!”, because she remembers what it was like to be a youngster with goth tendencies and wanting to be taken seriously.) Continue reading

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Of New School Worries

Hello Snarklings! August is, as many of you know, Back To School time. (The Lady of the Manners apologizes to her readers in the Eastern Hemisphere for her Western Hemisphere bias. It’s just one of those things.) This time of year fills the Lady of the Manners with a nostalgic urge to shop for school supplies; yes, she really does want a new big box of crayons. Oooh, and new blank journals, and fountain pens, and ink …

But Back To School time also means the mailbox at Gothic Charm School sees swarms of letters asking about school related topics. What to do about dress codes, of course, which the Lady of the Manners has talked about before:

Of Dealing With Vague And Repressive Dress Codes

Of Parental Nicknames, Of Wrongly Being Called Emo, And Of Dress Codes

Of Goths and School Dress Codes – Gothic Charm School

There are the questions from Snarklings worried about bullies, which is perfectly understandable! The Lady of the Manners has talked about that topic, too, and hopes that all of you will read (and re-read) that post:

Of Dealing With Bullies

But amongst all of those Back To School -related questions, one from a gothling named Carley caught the Lady of the Manners’ eye: Continue reading

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Of Dealing With Vague and Repressive Dress Codes

Hello Snarklings! This time around at Gothic Charm School, the Lady of the Manners is going to address a subject she’s talked about before, but one that is a never-ending concern: school dress codes.

The Lady of the Manners often thanks her lucky (dark) stars that the trend for all-encompassing, yet vague, school dress codes hadn’t taken root during her scholastic career. (The Lady of the Manners also thanks her lucky dark stars that things like Facebook, Twitter, and LiveJournal were not around during her semi-over-emotional teens and early twenties, but that’s a different post entirely.) The Lady of the Manners understands, to a degree, what school boards are trying to achieve with the dress codes; if students all have a similar appearance, then in theory there might be fewer disruptions and bullying because of a student’s clothing. (The Lady of the Manners has been told there are studies showing that school uniforms, not vague dress codes, have indeed helped cut down on bullying.) However, the Lady of the Manners also knows that it doesn’t matter if there is a dress code, the students will still find things to harass and haze each other about, and feels that the time spent drafting school dress codes would be better spent on finding strategies to deal with bullying. Maybe someday these things will happen. Say, when we live in a perfect world, or when the Lady of the Manners finally achieves her girlhood dream of becoming the gothy vampire queen of the universe. Continue reading

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