Author Archives: Lady of the Manners

“Nice Boots” and Club Manners

Posted on April, 1999 by Lady of the Manners

Hellohello, Faithful Readers, and welcome to the early spring ramblings at Gothic Charm School. (the Lady of the Manners knows that it’s spring because all the local drugstores have shelves and shelves of sugary Peeps for sale. Some people may use the budding of the trees or the re-appearance of flowers as sure harbingers of the spring season; the Lady of the Manners goes by the more reliable timetable of Easter candy turning up at the stores. Mmmmm, chocolate bunnies”¦)

Anyway, besides flowers, warmer weather, and Cadbury’s Cream Eggs, spring also usually means people coming out of the winter doldrums bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to go out and find new romantic interests. Of course, those people have to figure out how to chat up the potential new romance partner, which brings Gothic Charm School to the question of the month sent in by one of Our Readers: Continue reading →

Posted in Being Social, Clubbing & Concerts | Leave a comment

Mixed Relationships ”” can goths and non-goths find True Love?

Posted on March, 1999 by Lady of the Manners

Hello, Faithful Readers, and welcome to the latest batch of advice. This month the Lady of the Manners going to tackle a pair of omnipresent questions- can a goth find happiness and True Love with a non-goth? And should a non-goth try to cross over to gain the approval of the object of their affection? An example of that, from one of you out there in the cybernetic wilderness: Continue reading →

Posted in Love & Romance | Leave a comment

Just in Time for Valentine’s Day

Posted on February, 1999 by Lady of the Manners

Ah, romance. All goths are romantics, even if they deny it vehemently. There is something about the standard bits of the goth aesthetic (candlelight, roses, decadent food, alcohol, or clothing, passionate declarations or literature) that naturally go with romance.

Then why does the majority of the subculture profess to take a cynical view of the whole dating, love, & romance whirl? Because goths are all idealistic romantics at heart, and either don’t want to be ridiculed, or have been hurt too often ”¦ Continue reading →

Posted in Love & Romance | Leave a comment

These Are The Best Years Of Your Life! (well, not reeeaaallly…)

Posted on January, 1999 by Lady of the Manners

Yes, Gothic Charm School is going to talk about goth life at school. The first thing to remember is that any adult who uses the quoted phrase above is lying. The same goes for any adult who tells you that their high school years were fun or great. Nobody, and the Lady of the Manners means nobody, has a wonderful time throughout adolescence. Sure, there are some bright spots, but for the most part, one’s teenage years are character-forming in the sense that if you can survive them, you’ll have a greater understanding of human misery and angst. Why do you think all the John Hughes movies of the ”˜80s were about the misfit teens? Because they struck a resonating chord in just about everyone. Besides, most people find the shy admission that your high school years were a trial to be charming once everyone has grown up. Continue reading →

Posted in Growing Pains | Leave a comment

Home for the Holidays -Or- Surviving Family Togetherness

Posted on December, 1998 by Lady of the Manners

The holiday season is fast approaching, and you know what that means. Besides the flurry of finding appropriately goth gift wrap for presents and worrying about what sort of gradations there are to the “Naughty” section of Santa’s list, the holidays mean dealing with one’s family.

“You’re so pale! Are you all right?” “You are not wearing that to your grandparents’!” “I think you looked better with your natural haircolor.” “Oh, I thought this was a phase ”” haven’t you gotten tired of it yet?” Yes, all familiar questions. But this year the Lady of the Mannersgift to you, Dear Readers, is advice on how to deal with those same questions in a graceful, restrained, and polite manner. Continue reading →

Posted in Holidays & Special Occasions | Leave a comment

The First Ever

Posted on November, 1998 by Lady of the Manners

Manners are important. The Lady of the Manners knows that is a somewhat old-fashioned notion, but she firmly believes that life nowadays would be much more pleasant if everyone minded their “P’s and Q’s”. No, she doesn’t mean the fiddly little details of knowing what fork to use next at a formal dinner party (though that sort of ”˜esoteric’ knowledge adds a nice polish to one’s character), but how to deal gracefully with the myriad little trials life puts us through. Besides, the majority of people out there expect goths to be over-the-top, drug-crazed satanic barbarians with no concept of etiquette. Since the Lady of the Manners is particularly fond of the moral high ground when dealing with that sort of person, she has made it her goal to behave properly, which tends to unnerve them even more. Continue reading →

Posted in Stuff & Oddments | Leave a comment