Goodness, Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners seems to be getting lax with time management again, what with the length of time between the Faith and the Muse review and this particular installment of Gothic Charm School. But the Lady of the Manners did spend the time productively, and now has a clean and almost-organized storage room. (The floor may be sprinkled with sequins, bat confetti, and fragments of dried rose petals, but the Lady of the Manners considers that to be atmospheric.
But! Enough with tangents, and on to the lesson! Wherein the Lady of the Manners is going to address the some of the oodles of letters coming in from her younger readers. (The Lady of the Manners really does try not to exclaim “Oh! Wee babybat Snarkling!” when mail from younger readers appears in the Gothic Charm School inbox, but the temptation is always there.)
The first question is from Hunter, who needs book suggestions.
my name is Hunter and i have a bit of a problem.
at my school they have a strict “age appropriate” rule on reading Material .
so i was wondering if you had any suggestions for the younger ones of this beautiful subculture.
with all do respect
Hunter
ps im 11 in elementary school
Hunter, have you asked your teachers about what they consider to be “age appropriate” reading material for you? While the Lady of the Manners suspects you might not enjoy everything they suggest, you may be surprised. But as for the Lady of the Manners’ suggestions:
– Bone by Jeff Smith, which is an engaging and epic story of royalty, enigmatic dragons, dark forces out to conquer the world, and the the Bone cousins – plucky Fone Bone, scheming Phony Bone, and easygoing Smiley Bone – who left their home in Boneville and to be accidentally swept up in all of this. Oh, and the stupid stupid rat creatures, who are equal parts annoying and endearing.
– A Series Of Unfortunate Events series by Lemony Snicket. A rather obvious (but still good!) suggestion, full of dark plots, clever orphans, and a dark sense of humor.
– Something Wicked This Way Comes and From Dust Returned by Ray Bradbury.The first is a classic of dark fantasy, and deservedly so, what with the mysterious Coodger And Dark Traveling Pandemonium Show bringing temptation, terror, and a carousel that is much more than it seems to a small town. (The Lady of Manners must confess, Snarklings, that Something Wicked This Way Comes is one of her all-time favorite books, and she re-reads it every October.) From Dust Returned is another of the Lady of the Manners’ favorite books, about a family of supernatural, eternal creatures.
– The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. A man with a gleaming knife murders an entire family one night; an entire family except for a toddler boy, who had climbed out of his crib and slipped into the local graveyard. Now an orphan, the denizens of the graveyard decide to adopt him, and gift him with a name (Bod, short for Nobody) and the freedom of the graveyard. With a pallid, nocturnal guardian, ghost foster parents, and encounters with ghouls, witches, and the occasional human, Bod’s childhood is full of adventure and mystery.
One final bit of advice: have you asked your parents what they think of your reading material? When the Lady of the Manners was a wee school-age spookling, her parents defended her choice in reading materials to anyone who asked by pointing out that there was nothing wrong with reading, and they were happy to encourage her. Perhaps your parents feel the same way?
—
The next letter is on behalf of a trio of tormented Snarklings, asking for advice on how to deal with difficult classmates:
Dearest Lady of the Manners
I represent three desperate babybats suffering eraser pieces and paper balls indulged in saliva being thrown at us.
Lycan, as we call him, glared warningly at them, but it resided in an embarrassing result – they laughed and mocked him.
There was nothing Lily and I could think of doing to save our friend.
What should one, in honour of the Manners, do in a situation as such?
Sincerely,
Raizel
Oh, you poor Snarklings! It is a terrible blow when your glares are met with mocking laughter, isn’t it? The Lady of the Manners isn’t being condescending, in case you were worried. No, she is well-aware of how lowering and frustrating that situation can be, and her heart goes out to you three.
In this instance, the Lady of the Manners is going to suggest a few things. Thing the First: tell your tormentors to knock it off. Don’t glare warningly at them or try and be imposing, just tell them clearly and directly that you want them to stop.
Now the Lady of the Manners is perfectly aware that telling your tormentors to leave you alone won’t do a dratted thing. It’s a sad fact, and the Lady of the Manners desperately wishes that following this step would solve the problem. But it almost certainly won’t have any effect. Then why did the Lady of the Manners suggest it? Because the next step depends upon it.
Thing the Second: go to your teachers. Go to your teachers, go to the school counselor, go to the principal, and tell them you are being bullied. Because that is what is going on here; you’re being bullied. When you go to whichever school authority, make it very clear to them that you have asked your tormentors to stop, but that nothing has changed. Schools are starting to take more notice of complaints of bullying, and (from what the Lady of the Manners has heard) are trying to stop such things before they escalate. And make no mistake, being pelted with eraser pieces and spit balls is the sort of incident that could escalate into more unpleasant ones, so the school authorities need to be informed about what is going on.
However, the most important bit the Lady of the Manners wants you to remember is Thing the Third: you don’t have to pay attention to or care what those other students think of you. Do you want to be friends with them? The Lady of the Manners is assuming not, and really, why would you want to be friends with people who treat you so poorly? Trust the Lady of the Manners on this one, Snarklings. You don’t want to be friends with them, and you should pay as little attention to them as possible. Ignore them; they’re not worth your time or emotional energy. Cling to the wonderful idea that in a few short years, you won’t be in classes with them and they’ll be out of your life.
—
The final letter in this installment of Gothic Charm School is from a Snarkling asking about wearing a cloak to school:
Hello,
I am rather new to your site, having entered it for the first time, let’s see, thirty-five minutes ago, and I already feel that you are the person to ask my question about confidence. You see, I have a hand made cloak that one of my relatives made me that I just love. I wear it out on the weekends all the time. The thing is, I am very nervous about wearing it to school, as sixth graders are often troublesome and judgemental. No offense to them, maybe just the ones in my classes. Anyway, do you think I should wear my cloak? Is there anyway I could build up to being confident enough to?
Sincerely,
Jii, a sixth grade fan
A hand-made cloak that was a gift from a relative? Oh, you lucky Snarkling! The Lady of the Manners can understand your nervousness at the idea of wearing it to school, because you’re absolutely right, sixth graders are often troublesome and judgmental. But even so, the Lady of the Manners absolutely thinks you should wear your cloak to school. It’s an item you love! At a guess, it makes you feel happy and confident when you wear it on the weekends? Then embrace those feelings, and ignore any derisive comments from your classmates. Or at least pretend to ignore them. Because sometimes, what you need to do to build up your confidence is to simply act like you’re confident. The Lady of the Manners isn’t saying that you should strut around, acting as if you think you are the coolest and best of all possible people, but that you should give yourself a mental pep talk and remember that being happy with yourself is far more important than your classmates’ approval. Being different requires the courage not to care if other people think you’re weird, and that courage does build up over time.
The Lady of the Manners is not thrilled to be saying this, but the harsh truth is that sometimes other people just decide that they don’t like you or think you’re weird (in what they consider a not good way), and nothing you say or do will dissuade them from making their opinions known. (Usually very loudly.) Even if you don’t wear your beloved cloak to school, your classmates may still find something to mock you about. (The Lady of the Manners would like to think that wouldn’t happen, but your letter does imply that your classmates are those sorts of people.)
One final concern the Lady of the Manners feels she must mention: if you do decide to wear your cloak to school, be aware your troublesome classmates might consider it a target for vandalism or destruction. Does that mean that you shouldn’t wear your cloak? Absolutely not! Wear it and be happy in it, just also keep a very close eye on it.
—
With that, Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners is going wander away to sort through an enormous box of tangled ribbons and antique lace. Be sure to check back, as the next lesson here at Gothic Charm School will be More Letters From Young Snarklings, most of which seem to be asking for advice on fashion and school dress codes. Do you have a question of your own? Then scamper over to the Correspondence section and send a message!