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Author Archives: Lady of the Manners
An Assortment of Questions About Religion, Gossip, and Vampires.
Yes, Snarklings, go ahead and stare surprisedly at the Lady of the Manners. It was not the Lady of the Manners’ intention to be away so long, but … remember when the Lady of the Manners wrote that working in the tech industry was a good option for clever people who don’t want to be overly concerned with dress codes? The Lady of the Manners still believes that, but must add the caveat that there will sometimes be deadlines that laugh derisively at the notion of a person having a life outside of work.
However! The Lady of the Manners is back, and is rejoicing in having some free time by answering a varied selection of questions from readers. Yes, it’s true! The Lady of the Manners reads each and every bit of mail that is sent to her; don’t ever doubt that, Snarklings. Continue reading
Posted in General, Stuff & Oddments
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Polite Honesty, or Why Speaking Your Mind Doesn’t Always Work.
Oh dear, the Lady of the Manners hasn’t quite grasped the idea of “timely updates”, has she? The Lady of the Manners is very sorry about that, Snarklings, and promises to try and stay on top of things in the future.
Now the Lady of the Manners had thought that this lesson was going to be about volunteering to help with events, and that perhaps one should examine one’s motivations for doing so. But that lesson is going to be saved for another time, because a very interesting bit of e-mail was sent to Gothic Charm School: Continue reading
Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social, General
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Fitting In and Tag-Alongs
Belonging. Fitting in. Though they won’t admit it, even the bitterest misanthrope secretly cherishes faint dreams of finding a (very, very small) group of people they feel accepted by. Some people are so eager to fit in that they don’t stop to think about whether or not the social group they’ve targeted is the right one for them; some of them want so very badly to belong that they do things that maybe they shouldn’t.
Relax, Snarklings, this isn’t the Lady of the Manners’ big after-school special on the perils of peer pressure; the Lady of the Manners hasn’t gotten that desperate for lesson topics. Continue reading
Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social
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A Random Assortment of Things
Oh … dear. The Lady of the Manners would like to apologize for the complete and utter lack of a December lesson. The Lady of the Manners won’t say that the entire month of December sped right past without her noticing, but she is rather surprised at how … quickly January seemed to creep up on her.
So! To make amends for missing a month, the Lady of the Manners is going to answer a random assortment from some of the many questions that readers have sent in. No going on and on (and on and on) about any one pet peeve topic, but a wealth of questions and rants answers. Don’t you feel giddy at the very idea? (Just smile and nod at the Lady of the Manners, Snarklings. It makes the Lady of the Manners feel like you’re paying attention.)
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Posted in General, Stuff & Oddments
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Tourist Season in GothyLand
So! This time around the Lady of the Manners is going to look at one of the perennial topics of conversation in the Goth universe, a topic that she gets a fair amount of mail about: tourists. No, not the type of tourists who go visiting other cities and historical landmarks, but people who aren’t goth (and have no interest in ever being a goth), but who go to goth clubs.
Why is this a topic of never-ending discussion in the Goth world? Well, because opinions about scene tourists are pretty sharply divided. More people in the clubs means that the clubs are making money, thus the gothic club nights will flourish, not to mention that many club-goers feel that strict dress codes and ”˜scene-only’ door policies are ever-so-slightly on the ”˜bad’ side of elitist. On the other hand, swarms of non-goths take away from the ambience and atmosphere of a club, and it’s more than a little annoying to be treated like a zoo exhibit when you’re someplace that you go to almost every week. Continue reading
Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social, Clubbing & Concerts
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“Black is this Year’s Black …”
The Lady of the Manners was trying to decide what to address as the first lesson here at the lovely new website when she started noticing a recurring theme in the fall window displays and fashion magazines. A recurring theme that looked awfully familiar. So, just what *should* you do when your subculture becomes the current flavor of the month for fashion? Continue reading
Posted in Being Fashionable, General
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You should be in pictures …
Lately, there has been a lot of mail sent to Gothic Charm School from female readers who are all asking about the same topic. You see, they all want to become Gothic models, and does the Lady of the Manners have any advice?
The Lady of the Manners’ first instinct was to answer “Don’t”, but realizes that not only is that not terribly helpful, but would make for a very short column. Continue reading
Posted in General
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The Summer of Goth
This time around, Gothic Charm School isn’t going to be about etiquette questions. No, this month the Lady of the Manner is going to talk about a seasonal sort of topic: how to survive the summer as a Goth. Continue reading
Posted in Being Fashionable, General, Stuff & Oddments
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Clichés: the Dark Secret of Goth
Clichés. Clichés are what make the ElderGoths roll their eyes at the Babybats, when all the younger generation is doing is the same sort of silly stuff the ElderGoths did years ago. And yes, the Lady of the Manners can already hear some of you asking “But if it’s the same sort of stuff, why is it now okay to make fun of it?” Continue reading
Posted in General, Growing Pains, Stuff & Oddments
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Yet Another Lesson About Dealing with Your Parents
This month, the Lady of the Manners is going to go over a topic she’s *sure* she’s talked about in the past, but has been receiving quite the flurry of mail about, mostly from her younger readers. Such heartfelt letters that the Lady of the Manners must address the question again, because she really does want to help those younger readers free themselves from turmoil and worry.
What is the burning issue these younger Goths are troubled over? Some of them are trying to deal with the harsh burden of parental disapproval, poor dears. “My parents won’t let me be a Goth!” they cry. The Lady of the Manners feels for them, she really does.
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Posted in General
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