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Meta
Category Archives: General
Of Goths Suffering Harassment, of Vampires, and of Skull Accessories
Oh dear, Goths are in the news again. A Goth couple in England was banned from the bus because the driver objected to their appearance, which included the young lady being led on a leash by her fiancee. Several of you Snarklings sent the link to the the Lady of the Manners with letters much like the following one, sent by Mordicus: Continue reading
Posted in Being Fashionable, Being Mannerly, General
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Of Reader Mail Concerning Mourning, the Military, and Teachers
Reader mail, Snarklings! Yes, it’s time for another lesson full of questions taken from the Gothic Charm School mailbox. The Lady of the Manners wishes she was able to reply to each and every letter you delightful Snarklings send, but pesky realities such as sleeping and going to work seem to take up more time then they should. But, dear Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners is going to have more lessons that will feature reader mail, with only occasional breaks for book reviews and topics the Lady of the Manners wants to rant hold forth about.
The first reader letter is from a young man calling himself Lost Recruit:
I have a slight dilemma. You see, I have fallen under the…title, for lack of another way too put it, of Goth. But my future career could strip me of the ‘title’ I’ve actually come to accept. You see I’ve enlisted into our United States Marine Corps just this July. I am worried about losing the spirit that has earned me such a unique view from my peers. Any advice Ma’am? I would’ve looked through the archives but couldn’t find anything that looked like it would work.
Thank you much.
Firstly, the Lady of the Manners would like to congratulate you on your enlistment, and hopes that your military career is both fulfilling and safe. As to being worried about having to forsake your gothy nature upon joining the military: at first glance, a life of military service does seem incompatible with such a thing. But the Lady of the Manners wants to reassure you that your joining the military DOES NOT mean you will have to turn your back on the Goth subculture which you call your home. The Lady of the Manners knows many Goths who have been in the military, and none of them lost their dark spirit and unique views. However, be aware that your different outlook on things will most likely earn you attention and comments from your fellow service people. Be prepared for sarcastic questions and sometimes even outright hostility, and try not to respond in kind. Be polite and matter-of-fact about who you are, and please don’t feel that you have to change your personality or views to fit in or to succeed, because that isn’t the case at all. Again, the best of luck to you!
Posted in Being Mannerly, General, Growing Pains
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Goth vs. Emo
So. Goth vs. Emo. Oh yes, Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners has been receiving quite the flurry of mail about this topic. And the Lady of the Manners must admit that at first, she had no earthly clue why. But then the Lady of the Manners did a little poking around, and discovered that some of the sullen looking babybats that the Lady of the Manners had been smiling at were very likely emo kids. (Or so the Lady of the Manners was told by others.)
And then the Lady of the Manners did some more poking around, and discovered that very few of those kidlings would describe themselves as emo. That “emo” was frequently used as a derogatory term to be hurled at someone who was being open about their emotions, usually of the Woe, Pain, and Suffering variety.
Well. All of this poking around did was further befuddle the Lady of the Manners. Was there indeed an emo subculture? Or was it a handy buzzword that was being slapped on everything that could be related to black-clad kids? And how on earth was the Lady of the Manners supposed to be able to tell the difference between black-clad, eyeliner-smudged gothlings and black-clad, eyeliner-smudged emo kids? Continue reading
Posted in General, Stuff & Oddments
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Of Differences of Opinion. And IKEA.
Why is it, Snarklings, that Some People are compelled to respond to any difference of opinion by being rude and abrasive? Why Some People, when faced with someone who doesn’t agree with them, resort to insults, which are usually quickly followed by “OMG, it’s a JOKE!!! You’re SO stupid for getting upset!”
You see, what the Lady of the Manners is trying to figure out is why Those Sorts don’t understand that indulging in that sort of behavior is rude. Mocking people who disagree with you doesn’t make you look clever, and it certainly doesn’t sway people to agree with you.
Hmmm. Perhaps the Lady of the Manners should back up a bit, and explain what prompted this particular post. Did all of you know about the IKEA advertisement that mentioned Goths, Snarklings? Oh yes, last week IKEA had an ad with the text ”Brightens up your grad’s dorm. Unlike a creepy gothic roommate, who can be a bad influence.” Continue reading
Posted in Being Mannerly, General
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Why the Month of May Didn’t Exist Here, Plus Answering a Reader Letter
The Lady of the Manners is very sorry for not posting anything during May, Snarklings. May was a bit of a blur of work chaos, concerts, preparing for and then attending Convergence 13. The Lady of the Manners has swarms of letters to answer, and is going to try to post helpful (but possibly quick!) replies to them in the very near future. Continue reading
Posted in Being Mannerly, General, Stuff & Oddments
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Goodbye Cruel Internets; or The Great Flounce-Off
Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners knows that this is a rare occurrence, but this month’s lesson is indeed the one the Lady of the Manners threatened … er promised last month. Not because the Lady of the Manners doesn’t have other topics to address; good heavens, no! (In fact, the Lady of the Manners has been noticing an upswing in letters from readers, which is very gratifying.) But the Lady of the Manners feels she absolutely needs to do her part to help stop a particular epidemic of bad behavior.
The Lady of the Manners is sure that all of you have seen the horrible and petty behavior the Lady of the Manners is speaking of; if you’ve spent any time at all on the Internet, you’ve encountered this behavior many times. (The Lady of the Manners fervently hopes you haven’t indulged in it yourselves; if you have, don’t spoil her illusions.) Wherever there are multiple people posting, be it on blogs, message boards, LiveJournal, MySpace, or newsgroups, a version of the following will happen at some point:
“No one understands me / You are all SO MEAN / I am misunderstood! I am GOING TO LEAVE (delete my journal / user profile / stomp off in a huff)!”
This sort of behavior is commonly referred to as “Goodbye Cruel Internets!” or “I’m taking my toys and going home!” Continue reading
Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social, General
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Gothic Charm School in the News!
Yes Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners was interviewed about Gothic Charm School by a very nice gentleman from Sun Media! Read the interview here. Continue reading
Posted in General, News
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Raising Babybats; or On Being a Gothy Parent
Well Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners thought she knew what this month’s lesson was going to be about. But that was before the Lady of the Manners received a couple of letters with the same heartfelt query. A heartfelt query that the Lady of the Manners could not ignore: Do you have to turn in your Goth Card once you become a parent?
Posted in General, Growing Pains
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On Goths Dating Non-Goths; Or Dating Outside One’s Subcultural Boundries and Why It’s Okay.
The Lady of the Manners must say, Snarklings, that she has been delighted with the letters she’s lately been receiving from all of you. Oodles of letters about all sorts of things; some of you even have been asking for help with clothing and cosmetics, two subjects the Lady of the Manners is always happy to natter on about.
But! The Lady of the Manners is not going to indulge in Holding Forth about fashion things this month. No, this month the Lady of the Manners is going to talk about a dilemma that is a concern for many Goths: can a Goth find happiness in giving their heart to someone who is not one of the spooky and black-clad throng?
Those of you with long memories may recall that the Lady of the Manners has talked about this subject before. But it seems that there are many of you out there who aren’t sure if you can or should date outside the subculture; the letter from Madeline that is quoted below is one of several the Lady of the Manners has received recently. Continue reading
Posted in General, Love & Romance
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On Goths Dealing with a Winter Wonderland
There are times, Snarklings, that the Lady of the Manners suspects that the universe runs on serendipity overdrive. Okay, maybe not all of it, but some parts of it. Why? Because the Lady of the Manners had recently been pondering, during her cold and dark commute home from work every evening, what the next lesson should be about. Because while Lady of the Manners does indeed read all of the messages that people send her, Lady of the Manners was having a difficult time deciding which particular message struck her fancy. But then a charming young lady by the name of Elsa wrote to the Lady of the Manners with … a question about clothing! Now, as the Constant Reader may have noticed, the Lady of the Manners is very fond of burbling about clothing. In fact, the Lady of the Manners considers customizing and playing with her wardrobe to be her number one hobby. So when a letter arrives asking for clothing advice, how could the Lady of the Manners let it go unanswered? Continue reading
Posted in Being Fashionable, General, Stuff & Oddments
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