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Meta
Category Archives: Growing Pains
Of Book Reviews Concerning Gothic Fantasy, and of Disapproving Parents
Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners apologizes for not posting anything for a bit, but would like to make it up to you all with a book review and replies to a reader letter.
(“Waitaminute”, the perceptive among you might be thinking, “At the end of the last lesson, she said she was going to review a book, and answer reader mail! How is this making it up to all of us?” You would be absolutely correct. But the Lady of the Manners isn’t able to bring all of you cupcakes or bat cookies, and so begs you to accept her heartfelt apologies.)
So, book reviews! The charming people at Immanion Press sent the Lady of the Manners a copy of Tourniquet: Tales from the Renegade City, by Kim Lakin-Smith. The Lady of the Manners is very thankful that they did, because it is a marvelous book. A dark urban fantasy, it imagines a world where a wildly successful Gothic Rock band called Origin devotes themselves to creating a Mecca for those of a dark and flamboyant temperament. An entire city populated by various stripes of subcultures, all held together by the magic of Belief and consensual reality. Oh yes, Snarklings; the denizens of Renegade City have recreated themselves into their dreams and nightmares, and divided into tribes. But Roses, the lead singer of Origin, is dead. Signs of turmoil and decay are creeping around the edges of the tribes, and Druid, Roses’ brother, finally drags himself out of his self-imposed reclusive ways to try and find some answers.
Now, the Lady of the Manners feels she must state very clearly that Tourniquet: Tales from the Renegade City may not be to every-one’s tastes. The writing is lush and overblown, if not verging on lurid and over the top in some sections. If you are a reader that does not want to wallow in descriptive and purple prose, the Lady of the Manners regretfully must tell you that this is not a book you would enjoy. However, if, like the Lady of the Manners, you are a fan of authors such as Tanith Lee, Storm Constantine, and Ray Bradbury, then Tourniquet is for you. Continue reading
Posted in Book Reviews, Growing Pains
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Of Reader Mail Concerning Mourning, the Military, and Teachers
Reader mail, Snarklings! Yes, it’s time for another lesson full of questions taken from the Gothic Charm School mailbox. The Lady of the Manners wishes she was able to reply to each and every letter you delightful Snarklings send, but pesky realities such as sleeping and going to work seem to take up more time then they should. But, dear Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners is going to have more lessons that will feature reader mail, with only occasional breaks for book reviews and topics the Lady of the Manners wants to rant hold forth about.
The first reader letter is from a young man calling himself Lost Recruit:
I have a slight dilemma. You see, I have fallen under the…title, for lack of another way too put it, of Goth. But my future career could strip me of the ‘title’ I’ve actually come to accept. You see I’ve enlisted into our United States Marine Corps just this July. I am worried about losing the spirit that has earned me such a unique view from my peers. Any advice Ma’am? I would’ve looked through the archives but couldn’t find anything that looked like it would work.
Thank you much.
Firstly, the Lady of the Manners would like to congratulate you on your enlistment, and hopes that your military career is both fulfilling and safe. As to being worried about having to forsake your gothy nature upon joining the military: at first glance, a life of military service does seem incompatible with such a thing. But the Lady of the Manners wants to reassure you that your joining the military DOES NOT mean you will have to turn your back on the Goth subculture which you call your home. The Lady of the Manners knows many Goths who have been in the military, and none of them lost their dark spirit and unique views. However, be aware that your different outlook on things will most likely earn you attention and comments from your fellow service people. Be prepared for sarcastic questions and sometimes even outright hostility, and try not to respond in kind. Be polite and matter-of-fact about who you are, and please don’t feel that you have to change your personality or views to fit in or to succeed, because that isn’t the case at all. Again, the best of luck to you!
Posted in Being Mannerly, General, Growing Pains
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Raising Babybats; or On Being a Gothy Parent
Well Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners thought she knew what this month’s lesson was going to be about. But that was before the Lady of the Manners received a couple of letters with the same heartfelt query. A heartfelt query that the Lady of the Manners could not ignore: Do you have to turn in your Goth Card once you become a parent?
Posted in General, Growing Pains
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Parental Expectations, Family Photos, and More About When Black is This Year’s Black
Goodness, Snarklings, do you realize what October means? Besides Halloween and proper weather for velvet, that is? It means that Gothic Charm School is one year old! (In this incarnation, of course. Being the clever Snarklings that you are, you are well-aware that Gothic Charm School previously existed under another name, and has been around since 1998 or so …)
This month, not only is the Lady of the Manners going to try and help a young lady who has a question about parental expectations and family portraits, but the Lady of the Manners is also going to take another look at last October’s topic, because the Lady of the Manners has a few more things to say about the mainstream fashion industry deeming all things “darkly romantic” to be In while simultaneously sneering at the Gothic subculture. In other words, the Lady of the Manners is probably going to rant. You Have Been Warned, Snarklings. Continue reading
Posted in Being Fashionable, General, Growing Pains
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A Question About People Being Petty, With a Slight Tangent About Emo
The Lady of the Manners would like to apologize, Snarklings, for yet another lengthy absence from posting. It’s not that the Lady of the Manners hasn’t been reading your correspondence and thinking fondly of you all; it’s just that, well, things. They happen. However, the Lady of the Manners isn’t going to waste any more space on trying to excuse the sad lack of new lessons, but is going to go directly to a heartfelt question from a reader, who has turned to the Lady of the Manners upon being bad-mouthed and being called a poseur because of preferring The Cure and Bauhaus to Marilyn Manson: Continue reading
Posted in Being Social, General, Growing Pains
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Clichés: the Dark Secret of Goth
Clichés. Clichés are what make the ElderGoths roll their eyes at the Babybats, when all the younger generation is doing is the same sort of silly stuff the ElderGoths did years ago. And yes, the Lady of the Manners can already hear some of you asking “But if it’s the same sort of stuff, why is it now okay to make fun of it?” Continue reading
Posted in General, Growing Pains, Stuff & Oddments
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Too Old To Be Goth, Revisited
Hello Faithful Readers, and welcome to your monthly peek into the Lady of the Manners’ brain. This month, the Lady of the Manners is going to re-visit a topic from Years Gone Past. The Lady of the Manners has been receiving ”¦ well, not quite a flurry, but a light dusting of mail from new Faithful Readers who write earnest and charming letters about how they never considered themselves Goth, but they wear all black (or dark jewel tones), they like to read horror and fantasy fiction, they like bats, they collect gargoyles ”¦
Thankfully, this batch doesn’t ask the Lady of the Manners to validate their gothness, or complain that whatever online test they took doesn’t think they’re Goth. No, what is troubling these poor readers is very simple: they think they’re too old to start calling themselves Goth. Continue reading
Posted in Growing Pains
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Raising A Goth
Hello Faithful Readers, and welcome to another fun-filled Gothic Charm School column. (The Lady of the Manners certainly hopes it’s fun-filled for you Faithful Readers, because she has fun writing them.)
Recently, the Lady of the Manners has been getting a lot of mail from parents; encouraging mail. Mail that asks questions like “How can I as a parent support him in the Goth life, without seeming like I’m pretending to be “cool”, or fake? Should I just let him experiment with it?” The Lady of the Manners is thrilled that parents are reading her columns and sending her mail, which naturally leads to the Lady of the Manners writing a column just for them. But before she starts holding forth about “So you’re the parent of a fledgling Goth?”, there’s one eensy other thing she has to address ”¦ Continue reading
Posted in Growing Pains
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Goths and School
Hello, Faithful Readers, and welcome to the long-promised “Goths and School” column. Yes, the Lady of the Manners is following through on what she promised last month, no more wild tangents about weddings or other social events.
So. Right. School. Hmmm. Continue reading
Posted in Growing Pains
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Too Old To Be Goth?
Hello, faithful readers, and welcome to May. The days are longer, it’s sunny and warm out, and the Lady of the Manners has been looking through her closet in vain for something that might be usable for gothic Victorian summer wear. But never fear, that overwhelming obsession has not distracted the Lady of the Manners from the pleasant task of answering your questions! This month’s query comes from reader Adrian Forte:
I’m curious, when do you reach the point in your life when you are too old to consider yourself Goth, especially if you’ve never really gotten into the Goth scene in real life. Continue reading
Posted in Growing Pains
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