Yearly Archives: 2007

Of Book Reviews Concerning Vampire People, with an Addendum Concerning Sex and Gossip

Yes, Snarklings, this episode of Gothic Charm School is a book review. A review for a book that the Lady of the Manners thinks is wonderful, but in case some of you aren’t interested in books or book reviews (and if that’s the case, the Lady of the Manners feels very sad for you), the Lady of the Manners does also answer some mail from readers afterward.

So. Remember in the last installment of Gothic Charm School, when the Lady of the Manners mentioned her friend Allyson Beatrice, author of Will the Vampire People Please Leave the Lobby? Why yes, that was foreshadowing, because that is indeed the book the Lady of the Manners has been exclaiming delightedly about, to anyone who will hold still for even a few seconds. Will the Vampire People Please Leave the Lobby? (From Sourcebooks, Inc.) is a collection of essays about what life is like on the Internet; specifically, what life is like on the Internet and what sort of friendships and connections can made in fandom. Continue reading

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Goth vs. Emo

So. Goth vs. Emo. Oh yes, Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners has been receiving quite the flurry of mail about this topic. And the Lady of the Manners must admit that at first, she had no earthly clue why. But then the Lady of the Manners did a little poking around, and discovered that some of the sullen looking babybats that the Lady of the Manners had been smiling at were very likely emo kids. (Or so the Lady of the Manners was told by others.)

And then the Lady of the Manners did some more poking around, and discovered that very few of those kidlings would describe themselves as emo. That “emo” was frequently used as a derogatory term to be hurled at someone who was being open about their emotions, usually of the Woe, Pain, and Suffering variety.

Well. All of this poking around did was further befuddle the Lady of the Manners. Was there indeed an emo subculture? Or was it a handy buzzword that was being slapped on everything that could be related to black-clad kids? And how on earth was the Lady of the Manners supposed to be able to tell the difference between black-clad, eyeliner-smudged gothlings and black-clad, eyeliner-smudged emo kids? Continue reading

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Of Differences of Opinion. And IKEA.

Why is it, Snarklings, that Some People are compelled to respond to any difference of opinion by being rude and abrasive? Why Some People, when faced with someone who doesn’t agree with them, resort to insults, which are usually quickly followed by “OMG, it’s a JOKE!!! You’re SO stupid for getting upset!”

You see, what the Lady of the Manners is trying to figure out is why Those Sorts don’t understand that indulging in that sort of behavior is rude. Mocking people who disagree with you doesn’t make you look clever, and it certainly doesn’t sway people to agree with you.

Hmmm. Perhaps the Lady of the Manners should back up a bit, and explain what prompted this particular post. Did all of you know about the IKEA advertisement that mentioned Goths, Snarklings? Oh yes, last week IKEA had an ad with the text ”Brightens up your grad’s dorm. Unlike a creepy gothic roommate, who can be a bad influence.” Continue reading

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Of Cross-Generational Concert Etiquette; or Kids Today and Their Loud Music

You see, Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners recently attended an ”¦ arena rock show. Yes, it’s true. The Lady of the Manners has a not-so-secret fondness for bands that indulge in power chords, theatrics, and eyeliner; which means that every now and again, the Lady of the Manners finds herself at Big! Rock! Shows. And this most recent time, the Lady of the Manners realized that perhaps she should talk about cross-generational concert etiquette.

“Cross-generational?” you may be asking. Well, yes. At this last concert, the Lady of the Manners was bemused (and perhaps just a touch horrified) at some of the behavior she saw on both ends of the age spectrum at the concert. No, it wasn’t just the antics of the younger attendees that caused the Lady of the Manners to raise her eyebrows, but also the behavior of the “grown-ups” at the concert. Continue reading

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Why the Month of May Didn’t Exist Here, Plus Answering a Reader Letter

The Lady of the Manners is very sorry for not posting anything during May, Snarklings. May was a bit of a blur of work chaos, concerts, preparing for and then attending Convergence 13. The Lady of the Manners has swarms of letters to answer, and is going to try to post helpful (but possibly quick!) replies to them in the very near future. Continue reading

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Goodbye Cruel Internets; or The Great Flounce-Off

Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners knows that this is a rare occurrence, but this month’s lesson is indeed the one the Lady of the Manners threatened … er promised last month. Not because the Lady of the Manners doesn’t have other topics to address; good heavens, no! (In fact, the Lady of the Manners has been noticing an upswing in letters from readers, which is very gratifying.) But the Lady of the Manners feels she absolutely needs to do her part to help stop a particular epidemic of bad behavior.

The Lady of the Manners is sure that all of you have seen the horrible and petty behavior the Lady of the Manners is speaking of; if you’ve spent any time at all on the Internet, you’ve encountered this behavior many times. (The Lady of the Manners fervently hopes you haven’t indulged in it yourselves; if you have, don’t spoil her illusions.) Wherever there are multiple people posting, be it on blogs, message boards, LiveJournal, MySpace, or newsgroups, a version of the following will happen at some point:

“No one understands me / You are all SO MEAN / I am misunderstood! I am GOING TO LEAVE (delete my journal / user profile / stomp off in a huff)!”

This sort of behavior is commonly referred to as “Goodbye Cruel Internets!” or “I’m taking my toys and going home!” Continue reading

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Gothic Charm School in the News!

Yes Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners was interviewed about Gothic Charm School by a very nice gentleman from Sun Media! Read the interview here. Continue reading

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Raising Babybats; or On Being a Gothy Parent

Well Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners thought she knew what this month’s lesson was going to be about. But that was before the Lady of the Manners received a couple of letters with the same heartfelt query. A heartfelt query that the Lady of the Manners could not ignore: Do you have to turn in your Goth Card once you become a parent?

Continue reading

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On Goths Dating Non-Goths; Or Dating Outside One’s Subcultural Boundries and Why It’s Okay.

The Lady of the Manners must say, Snarklings, that she has been delighted with the letters she’s lately been receiving from all of you. Oodles of letters about all sorts of things; some of you even have been asking for help with clothing and cosmetics, two subjects the Lady of the Manners is always happy to natter on about.

But! The Lady of the Manners is not going to indulge in Holding Forth about fashion things this month. No, this month the Lady of the Manners is going to talk about a dilemma that is a concern for many Goths: can a Goth find happiness in giving their heart to someone who is not one of the spooky and black-clad throng?

Those of you with long memories may recall that the Lady of the Manners has talked about this subject before. But it seems that there are many of you out there who aren’t sure if you can or should date outside the subculture; the letter from Madeline that is quoted below is one of several the Lady of the Manners has received recently. Continue reading

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On Goths Dealing with a Winter Wonderland

There are times, Snarklings, that the Lady of the Manners suspects that the universe runs on serendipity overdrive. Okay, maybe not all of it, but some parts of it. Why? Because the Lady of the Manners had recently been pondering, during her cold and dark commute home from work every evening, what the next lesson should be about. Because while Lady of the Manners does indeed read all of the messages that people send her, Lady of the Manners was having a difficult time deciding which particular message struck her fancy. But then a charming young lady by the name of Elsa wrote to the Lady of the Manners with … a question about clothing! Now, as the Constant Reader may have noticed, the Lady of the Manners is very fond of burbling about clothing. In fact, the Lady of the Manners considers customizing and playing with her wardrobe to be her number one hobby. So when a letter arrives asking for clothing advice, how could the Lady of the Manners let it go unanswered? Continue reading

Posted in Being Fashionable, General, Stuff & Oddments | Leave a comment