Category Archives: Serious Matters

On Dealing With Personal Questions

Posted on July, 2012 by Lady of the Manners

Hello, Snarklings! Oh good heavens, is it summer already? As she has said before, the Lady of the Manners much prefers autumn. Especially October, which also happens to be the name of the Snarkling who wrote to Gothic Charm School asking for advice in dealing with personal questions:

Dearest Lady of the Manners,

I am a recovering socially anxious wreck, in so many words. I am a generally shy person, but I am trying to be better about how I speak to people I don’t know. I hoped you would have some advice to help me. See, I, at the ripe old age of 21, have just entered my first relationship ever, and it is with another lady. Naturally, people tend to have questions, which I understand. However, I am a very private person, and I get very uncomfortable when people ask me personal questions, such as how serious the relationship is, what exactly my sexual orientation is, and so forth. I tend to regress to my less polite behaviors, either one-word grunting answers, or simply telling them it is none of their damn business. I feel like there is a better way to answer questions like these, but I get so nervous and uncomfortable that I don’t think my answers through. If you have any advice at all, it would be most appreciated.

Yours,
October C

Congratulations on your relationship! The Lady of the Manners hopes that you and your lady are very happy. As to your question; while the Lady of the Manners supports you in learning to be better about talking to people you don’t know, she also suspects you think you owe those people answers. To be perfectly honest, you don’t. Continue reading →

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Of Gentlemen’s Summerwear and of Alternative Genders

Posted on May, 2012 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! Yes, the Lady of the Manners has dragged herself away from playing with dolls and reading vampire books to answer reader letters! A letter asking for some fashion advice, and two different letters touching on the trans* and genderqueer communities. This is one of the posts at Gothic Charm School where the Lady of the Manners is going to open up the comments in order to get (she hopes!) even more advice and support for the dilemmas being addressed here. However, as always, the comments will be moderated. (Does the Lady of the Manners have to point out that flaming, trolling, and hateful speech are not tolerated here? She would assume not, but better safe than sorry.) Continue reading →

Posted in Being Fashionable, Being Social, Clicky-links, General, Serious Matters | Tagged , , | 38 Comments

Of Goth Styles And Labels

Posted on January, 2012 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings, and welcome to 2012! There are all sorts of plots being polished and things in the works here at Gothic Charm School, including clothing reviews, more vampire book discussion in the Nocturnal House, and events to attend! But never fear, the Lady of the Manners is still reading and answering the letters that come in to Gothic Charm School. Continue reading →

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Of Defining Yourself By Other People

Posted on November, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners is finally rousing herself from some much-needed napping, only to realize that the holiday season is upon us! With that in mind, the Lady of the Manners is working on a simply enormous holiday gift guide type of post, full of suggestions and clicky-links to Goth and Goth-friendly artists and retailers. However, that doesn’t mean that the Lady of the Manners is not going to look at reader questions, and this installment of Gothic Charm School looks at two different sides of the issue: allowing other people to define who you are.
Continue reading →

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Of Gothy Age Limits (There Aren’t Any), And Of A Bad Idea In The Name Of “Fashion”

Posted on November, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! Guess what? This installment of Gothic Charm School is going to, ::gasp:: answer some letters from readers! A flock of them, some of which are from the younger readers. (The Lady of the Manners loves getting mail from readers, but letters from the younger babybats do make her go “Awww!” in fond affection.)
Continue reading →

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Kickstarter: My Summer As A Goth. Help Make A Movie!

Posted on September, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! Remember in the previous post, wherein the Lady of the Manners linked to a Kickstarter page for a movie project? As those of you who follow the Lady of the Manners on various social networking sites know, the Lady of the Manners is involved with getting a movie made!

My Summer As A Goth Continue reading →

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An Assortment Of Questions, Including Babybats And Working With Children

Posted on September, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners has taken a break from being furniture for the new kittens of the Gothic Charm School household so she can answer some reader letters. This installment is going to be filled with letters from the younger readers of Gothic Charm School; as you may have guessed, many of the letters from younger readers ask to talk to their parents about being Goth. Now, the Lady of the Manners has talked about this before: Continue reading →

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Of New School Worries

Posted on August, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! August is, as many of you know, Back To School time. (The Lady of the Manners apologizes to her readers in the Eastern Hemisphere for her Western Hemisphere bias. It’s just one of those things.) This time of year fills the Lady of the Manners with a nostalgic urge to shop for school supplies; yes, she really does want a new big box of crayons. Oooh, and new blank journals, and fountain pens, and ink …

But Back To School time also means the mailbox at Gothic Charm School sees swarms of letters asking about school related topics. What to do about dress codes, of course, which the Lady of the Manners has talked about before:

Of Dealing With Vague And Repressive Dress Codes

Of Parental Nicknames, Of Wrongly Being Called Emo, And Of Dress Codes

Of Goths and School Dress Codes – Gothic Charm School

There are the questions from Snarklings worried about bullies, which is perfectly understandable! The Lady of the Manners has talked about that topic, too, and hopes that all of you will read (and re-read) that post:

Of Dealing With Bullies

But amongst all of those Back To School -related questions, one from a gothling named Carley caught the Lady of the Manners’ eye: Continue reading →

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Of Book Recommendations, Depression, And What Is In Your Purse.

Posted on June, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! This installment of Gothic Charm School is another mixed selection of things, with book recommendations, helpful information from other readers, a question about depression, and some musings on what essentials should be in one’s handbag or backpack? Continue reading →

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Of Letters From Other Countries.

Posted on April, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Yes, Snarklings: the Lady of the Manners is trying to get back into the habit of this updating regularly lark. So! This time at Gothic Charm School, letters from readers who live in very different parts of the world! Continue reading →

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