The Gothic Charm School Interview with Emilie Autumn!

Posted on February, 2012 by Lady of the Manners

Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners has an exciting treat for you this time at Gothic Charm School! As the Lady of the Manners has mentioned before, she’s a big fan of Emilie Autumn. While the Enchant album was lovely, it was with the release of Opheliac that Emilie Autumn really grabbed people’s attention. How could the Lady of the Manners resist someone who played the violin, wrote slyly smart and biting songs about emotional struggles, and looked like a bedraggled and possibly dangerous Victorian doll? The Lady of the Manners couldn’t, obviously, and has been following the antics (musical and otherwise) of Ms. Autumn ever since.

The Asylumn Clock

And now, with thanks to Melissa King, Emilie’s wonderful tour manager, and Raayven for the photos from the January 29th Seattle concert, the Lady of the Manners presents to you:

The Gothic Charm School Interview with Emilie Autumn!

The assorted Opheliac-era tours were amazing spectacles. Are the shows for Fight Like A Girl going to have the same sort of delirious, “Rocky Horror” sideshow vibe?

EA: Thank you for saying that! The “FLAG” tour is definitely picking up where “Opheliac” left off and taking it about a thousand steps further. Everything is becoming very, very real. We’re keeping the Vaudevillian, theatrical, burlesque aspect of the show that I so love, but really telling a very literal story as well, and a very heavy one at that.

On the last round of tours for the Opheliac era, you said that those shows were the last time you would be performing songs from Opheliac live. Does that still hold true?

EA: The only song I’ve ever said I’d be retiring was the violin solo from “Unlaced” called “Face The Wall”. I’d been playing that at the end of every show for around three years, and I thought that it was time to take it to the next level.

Opheliac struck a chord and resonated with a lot of women (myself included!) Why do you think that is? Do you feel that Fight Like A Girl will have a similar effect?

EA: Thank you, I’m honored to have had even a small effect in this way. “Fight Like A Girl” makes “Opheliac” sound like a pleasant tea party. “FLAG” is a revolution, a call to arms, and represents a taking back of the power of 51% of the human population.

Tea Time at the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls

You’ve said before that “The Art of Suicide” is the song you’re most proud of. Does Fight Like A Girl have any songs you were completely blown away by?

EA: It does, in different ways. “…Suicide” is a tough song to match, but “FLAG” has some amazingly, almost ridiculously epic, cinematic pieces, and, in a lot of ways, is in a whole new realm. The songs are not so much about me, myself, the individual Emilie Autumn, but more about the characters in the “Asylum…” story, and the journeys they go on, journeys that I believe will speak to all of us in some way or other. There is one song in particular that I know to be, sort of, THE song, the jackpot, the punch line, and that is the closing song of the show and the album, “One Foot In Front Of The Other.” This is the song that answers the question, “where do we go from here?” It takes a seemingly hopeless situation and shines just one pin-hole of light, by which we begin to see a future out of all the horror.

I get a lot of mail from Gothic Charm School readers that mentions you as someone they look up to. What are your feelings on being a role model?

EA: I didn’t know that, but that is amazing, and very, very sweet! In truth, I’m not terribly fond of the term or concept of a “role model” because it implies restriction, something I don’t ever want to feel again. It’s quite frightening, really. I have every right to live my life and make choices and decisions without worrying about whom I will influence for good or bad. However! I do believe that there is a sort of responsibility that comes with putting one’s self out into the public and saying one’s message in a very loud voice night after night. It would be naive to think that one wouldn’t have some effect on people, their actions, how they think, etc., and I’m learning to embrace that rather than fear it, and to realize that this really was what I wanted all along — to have an effect, and to make a change.

Music, touring, writing and promoting a book, merchandise design, tea blending: how do you find the time to do it all? And are there ever days where you want to ditch it all and run away to join a circus that you’re not the ringmaster of?

EA: Well put! There certainly are those days, which is why acting as “The Painted Doll” in Darren Lynn Bousman’s “The Devil’s Carnival” was such an amazing, much needed experience, and will continue to be as each episode is filmed. It’s a circus I’m not the ringmaster of, and, while that initially terrified me, I quickly realized the simple beauty in just being a collaborator and not the boss.

Emilie Autumn and the Bloody Crumpets

Are there any plans for an ebook version of The Asylum For Wayward Victorian Girls book? I love the enormous, art-book format of it, but I’d also love a more portable version, and I know I’m not the only one.

EA: It’s something I’ve definitely been thinking about…a large part of my hesitation is simply the very practical concern of how the double page text and illustrations can be read on a portable device.

What are some of the things you do to recharge and balance yourself?

EA: Tea, tea, and alone time.

What’s your favorite comfort-read book?

EA: “The Picture of Dorian Gray.”

How is Suffer the Bear doing? Is he tagging along on this tour?

EA: He is attached to my harpsichord at all times, and comes out to dance and snuggle up to the Plague Rats at the end of the show. It’s still difficult for me to explain how important this little pink bear is to me, but I suppose you’ve read the book, so you already know. Thank you so much for your time and the brilliant chat! It’s been my pleasure having tea with you, and now, I’m off to practice a fight scene with Naughty Veronica. Life could be a lot worse…

—

The Lady of the Manners has been lucky enough to see Emilie Autumn and her Bloody Crumpets in concert three times, and has been enraptured each time. The songs that Emilie performed from the upcoming FLAG album were powerful, and old favorites sparkled under a new coat of glitter and righteous ire. The Lady of the Manners was especially happy to hear “4 O’Clock”, the anthem of chronic insomniacs everywhere, and needs to find good-quality recordings of the live performances “Take The Pill”, “Girls, Girls, Girls”, and “One Foot In Front Of The Other” to tide her over until Fight Like A Girl is unleashed upon the world. Which will happen very soon, the Lady of the Manners hopes!

More of Raayven’s photos from the January 29th Seattle performance at Studio 7.

Welcome to the Asylum: Emilie Autumn’s Official Site

The Emilie Autumn fan forum

Posted in Clubbing & Concerts | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Amusements: Other Gothy Blogs To Read

Posted on January, 2012 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! While the Lady of the Manners is poking at the Audacity program (and that should give you a hint as to upcoming projects, you clever things), she felt she should talk about the blogs that she likes to visit! Distractions, entertainment, nifty things!

There’s Sophistique Noir, which focuses on “Gothic Fashion for the Mature”. This is a fantastic blog for fashion fiends and people who want inspiration for dressing with a dark flair while polished, professional, and a grown up. VictorianKitty, the blog author, describes it thusly:

“Yes, dark fashion can be mature and sophisticated. Gothic fashion, including career-appropriate attire, club outfits and everyday Goth styles can look classy and dignified on people over 30.”

The Lady of the Manners adores this blog, because while her personal fashion aesthetic is heavy on antique whimsy (and frequently thanks her lucky stars that she has the freedom to dress that way in her tech industry career), she knows all too well that many Goths don’t want to commit to that level of flamboyance on a daily basis, or are in situations where such flamboyance isn’t practical or acceptable.

Another great thing about the Sophistique Noir blog is that the majority of the clothing featured comes from mainstream stores and websites, and so is a great resource for finding Goth-friendly attire without shopping at specialty retailers. The Lady of the Manners has been telling people for years and years that places like Newport News, Spiegel, Target, and Macy’s have all sorts of garments that can easily become part of a Goth wardrobe, so she’s particularly delighted to see other people posting about it.

But wait! There’s more CorpGoth fashion to be found at This Is CorpGoth, which is “The chronicles of an everyday Goth gal at the office”. Run by the brilliant and clever Trystan L. Bass (alt.gothic.fashion alumni represent!), the blog is a great example of how to have a quirky dark style and still look like someone who knows what they’re doing at the office. Or as Trystan herself says:


Yes indeed, goths can grow up and work in big corporations. If you’re a young person wondering how you can get a Real Job while not totally sacrificing your dark and morbid fashion sense, this is the place for you. Or if you’re simply wondering how gothic & other subcultural folks can look “professional” in an office setting, here I am.

Next up on the list of blogs the Lady of the Manners is fond of is The Ultimate Goth Guide.It is a meandering collection of answers to questions about Goth life, “day in the life” posts, and ramblings about fashion, music, makeup, and books. There are also a lot of posts about different types of Goth, which will be of interest to those of you who are looking for more information than the brief snippets the Lady of the Manners covered in an earlier post here at Gothic Charm School.

The Lady of the Manners thinks the whole thing is adorable, and would very much like to someday have a cup of tea with Miss Amy. The Lady of the Manners would also like to finish reading through all of the posts on this blog, but suspects that will take longer than the amount of free time she has. But so far, what she’s read has been lots of fun. However, don’t let the name fool you or raise a skeptical eyebrow, because Miss Amy is the first to admit that she’s not the “ultimate Goth”; in fact, here’s what she has to say about her blog:

“No, I do not really think I am the ‘ultimate Goth’. Neither is this ‘the best’ Goth site on the web. Also, whilst all work on this site is heavily researched, some of it is still personal opinion (e.g. just because I say that an album is ‘the best ever’, does not guarantee that you will feel the same) and some of it cannot be proven as fact.”

Another blogger the Lady of the Manners dearly would love to have a tea party with is Kitty Lovett of Bloggery of a Gothcat. It’s another “day in the life” sort of blog, but with lots of cats (which the Lady of the Manners approves of, especially considering she’s attempting to write this post around a kitten on her lap), and is the home of a rather enticing fashion challenge for 2012.

The Filthy Victorians 2012 Challenge: a year as a Victorian lady.

Yes, starting in February, Kitty is going to try to dress in a Victorian-inspired manner every day for a year. Meaning corsets as undergarments, bloomers, petticoats, the works. It should come as no surprise to any of you Snarklings that the Lady of the Manners is wildly in favor of such an experiment, especially since the only thing on that list that the Lady of the Manners doesn’t indulge in on a daily basis is corsetry. (And make no mistake, Snarklings, a well-fitted (usually meaning custom-fitted) corset is often more comfortable than a bra, especially if one is on the buxom side.)

Other people (such as Miss Amy of the Ultimate Goth Guide) are joining in on the Filthy Victorians 2012 Challenge, and the Lady of the Manners is certainly considering it. If you (yes, you!) are interested in taking part, you should read the Guidelines post, which is full of tips and tricks. The Lady of the Manners realizes there is no information for any gentlemen (or scoundrels) who may want to spend the year also dressing in a Victorian-ish manner. The simplest resource she’s found for that sort of thing is Dressing the Part:A Victorian Genteman’s Personal Guide over at Gentlemen’s Emporium. Which is also a site that sells men’s fashions, so all of the specific clicky-links in the guide go to the sale pages for the items mentioned. That doesn’t mean the guide isn’t full of useful information, though, and the merchandise from Gentlemen’s Emporium is very nice.

—

There you go, Snarklings! Other things to read in between Gothic Charm School updates! Future ones of which include clothing reviews, more nattering about vampire books, answering reader questions (and you all know where the Correspondence form is, yes?), tutorials, and perhaps, just perhaps, a bit more information about why the Lady of the Manners is fussing around with Audacity …

Posted in Amusements, Clicky-links | Leave a comment

Of Goth Styles And Labels

Posted on January, 2012 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings, and welcome to 2012! There are all sorts of plots being polished and things in the works here at Gothic Charm School, including clothing reviews, more vampire book discussion in the Nocturnal House, and events to attend! But never fear, the Lady of the Manners is still reading and answering the letters that come in to Gothic Charm School.

As has been the case for the last few installments of Gothic Charm School, the Lady of the Manners has picked a few letters with a similar theme; this time the questions are about learning more about the Gothic subculture. The first letter is from a young creature asking about different styles of Goth:

question: Dear Lady of the Manners,

I am a 12 year old who is interested in developing a Gothy style.
Can you explain what the different styles of Gothiness are like?

You must give the Lady of the Manners a few moments to collect herself, dear Snarkling. You see, way back in the dim and misty reaches of time, the notion that there were different types of Goths was slightly absurd. If you called yourself a Goth, that meant you liked certain bands, tended to read dark-themed books (fiction and non-fiction), and wore a lot of black. It was only as time passed and the subculture grew that Goth started to send forth creeping tendrils with different, but still dark, blooms. The first time the Lady of the Manners remembers seeing mention of different types of Goths was back in the heyday of the alt.gothic newsgroup. Those sorts of lists, while vaguely amusing, are generally ”¦ not very kind, in addition to being words or attributes smushed together, and not actually terms that people use. Or if they do, it’s in jest, or perhaps to show off that they’ve spent some time looking up Goth definitions. They’re certainly not the sort of reference to use to figure out what sort of Goth styles you might be interested in!

Of course, there’s the wholly adorable (and useful!) cartoons exemplifying different Goth styles by Megan Balanck over blackwaterfall.com. (Which the Lady of the Manners isn’t directly linking to because two different search engines warned her that the site was potentially harmful to her computer. So look at the blackwaterfall.com site at your own risk!) But here is Megan’s DeviantArt page, which also features the Goth (stereo)types cartoons. The Lady of the Manners is especially fond of Goth Type 13, the Victorian Goths (which should be no surprise, look at the woman in the cartoon!) and Goth Type 17, the Vampire Goth.

But! As amusing and charming as those illustrations are, they do not need to be used as strict patterns to follow or model yourself upon. The Lady of the Manners feels quite strongly about this, even though she isn’t one of those people who automatically rails against labels, or insist that we spooky dark snowflakes cannot be be labeled because we are so special and unique. Labels can be very useful things, but they are not the be-all and end-all of who you are. Yes, lists of descriptions like “perkygoth” (the bouncy and cheerful types), “tribal goth”(typically fans of darker “world” music, a penchant for dreads, accessories of shells, bones, and feathers, a fondness for tribal belly dance, and a rougher-edged, primitive take on Goth fashion) , “gothabilly” (50s greaser and hot-rod style crossed with Goth, with a heaping helping of pin-up glamour and skulls), “rivethead” (stompy stompy music and boots, and semi-utilitarian fashion that means they’re ready for the dance floor or to greet the alien robot overlords when they arrive), “deathrocker” (enormous backcombed hair, heavy makeup, and ripped fishnets layered over everything), and “faerie goth” (flowers, glitter, antlers, layers of floating tulle and silk, and sometimes wings) are fun to read through, and of course they are terribly useful as a shorthand for describing some of your interests, but they’re just that: a shorthand. For example, the Lady of the Manners has been known to describe herself as a Cupcake Goth, which (she hopes!) gives people at least a vague understanding of her spooky-sweet nature and her fondness for adding pink accents to her inky black wardrobe.

No one can be (or should be!) described by a single label, or even multiple labels. Telling someone you’re a Victorian Goth (bustles, frock coats, high-collared blouses, and spooky tea parties), a Trad Goth (leather jackets, big hair, and a strong belief that nothing sounds as good as Joy Division, Bauhaus, or early Siouxsie and the Banshees) , a CyberGoth (neon dreadfalls, tight clothing with light-reflective accents, and a fervent devotion to dark oontz music), a metalhead (leather jackets, tight jeans, spikes everywhere, and lots of dark or symphonic metal music), a CorpGoth (a spooky type dressed in dark-colored office-appropriate clothing) , or any combination of gothy types can give someone an overview of what you’re interested in, but it’s only a snapshot. All the complexities of who you are, what you like and don’t like, or what drew you to the spooky side of life can’t be summed up by that snapshot. So feel free to peruse all the different lists of Goth styles, but don’t feel that you must match any (or all!) of them to be a Goth.
—

The next question is about what one should do when a friend is using the Goth label in a not-entirely-accurate way:


Hi there,
Allow me to start off by saying that I am so lucky to have come across your book and website. They have helped me through many issues that I faced throughout my babybat years. I’m having an issue that I could only message you to resolve.

I have a friend and she is such a sweetheart! She’s showing a large amount of interest in the subculture but not to the point of research. She listen to Black Veil Brides and doesn’t know much about the subculture. I have no issue with the way she dresses and the music she likes but It’s what people around my school are referring to as “Goth” because she was so open about her transition into the subculture. I want her to know more about what goth really is and how different it is from her interpretations. She’s such a good friend and I cannot say anything that would make her feel bad in the least. I wouldn’t be able to stand it. But at the same time, the gothic subculture is one I call my home and even though it’s ridiculous It bothers me a tad. I would hate to be rude because I try my very best not to be, I just need a very polite way to tell her.

If you have any ideas as to how I could show her more about the gothic subculture I would be more than grateful!

Thank you so much for all you have done for me,
Lots of love,
Claire

Forgive the Lady of the Manners for asking an obvious question, Snarkling, but it really is the first thing that popped into her mind after reading your letter: have you sat down with your friend and mentioned that you want to show her more about what Goth means to you? Because really, if she’s interested in the subculture, and you call the subculture home, then it should be a very short step to spending hours talking to each other about all the different aspects of Goth that the two of you like. You know, the time-honored friendship game of “Oooh, have I told you about this? Or shown you this thing I found that I think is amazing and fascinating? Have I made you listen to songs by these bands I adore?”. The Lady of the Manners and her friends do this sort of thing all the time sometimes by means of emails with clicky-links and excited flailing in all-caps.

The very important thing to keep in mind during all of this is to not come across like you’re trying to correct her, or make her feel like you think she’s Doing It Wrong. Because honestly, there are a squillion different paths to the Goth subculture, and telling someone (anyone, but especially a friend) that their interpretations of Goth are all wrong is unhelpful and unkind. The Lady of the Manners is very glad to have read the part where you wrote “She’s such a good friend and I cannot say anything that would make her feel bad in the least.”, but wants to just, oh, underline that in glittery black ink or something. Because she has run across people who are so determined to teach people about The Right Opinions and Interests to Have that they forget about treating their friends as people they like and care about.

So! Spend time with your friend and ask her what it is that draws her to Goth, what got her interested in it. Talk about what drew you to the Goth subculture. Watch movies together. Listen to music together and make each other playlists or mix CDs of music you think the other would like. Drag out your cosmetics collection and do each other’s makeup, plunder each other’s closets and play dress-up, and ”¦ just be good friends to each other, for goodness sake! The Lady of the Manners is pretty certain that just by hanging out and geebling at each other about the things you like, you’ll open her eyes to the larger world of Goth. (And make an only slightly self-serving suggestion, you could also wave a copy of the Gothic Charm School book at your friend and suggest she read it.)

—

Coming soon to Gothic Charm School: a post about the gothy blogs that the Lady of the Manners is particularly fond of reading (including information about the Filthy Victorians 2012 thing, which is about encouraging people to dress in Victorian or Victorian-inspired clothing for the whole year, and oh! Did the Lady of the Manners’ heart skip a joyous beat at that idea), the long-delayed review of Spin Doctor clothing (simply gorgeous things, Snarklings!), exciting news about upcoming appearances, and very exciting news about something brewing between Gothic Charm School and Seattle Night Out Radio! And of course, reading (and even maybe answering) the letters you lovely people send in ”¦

Posted in General, Growing Pains, Serious Matters | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Holiday Gift Guide!

Posted on December, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! Yes, here it is, the enormous Gothic Charm School holiday gift guide! Full of clicky-links to gothy artisans and small businesses that have simply oodles and oodles of interesting things for sale. The Lady of the Manners is very aware that just about everyone is dealing with tightened budgets right now, but wants to encourage all of you who are doing holiday gift shopping to show your support for independent sellers and stores.

Firstly, shop local! See what your local shops have on offer. (In Seattle, the Lady of the Manners shops at Gargoyle Statuary and Bedlam Bedlam, and when visiting Portland makes sure to visit Sock Dreams and Paxton Gate.) Take a look at event listings and calendars for your area, because there are more and more subculture-friendly holiday markets happening all the time. In the Seattle area, there are events such as Mourning Market (the next one is on December 11th), the Punk Rock Flea Market (December 10th), and I Heart Rummage (also on December 10th). These sorts of events feature independent artists and crafters, and are always fun to attend. In fact, the Lady of the Manners tends to view these sorts of markets as social events where she can catch up and chat with all sorts of people, but that also happen to have shopping opportunities. Why, the Lady of the Manners even did a video about them:

Of course, the San Francisco people have Dickens Fair, those lucky things. Holiday shopping and activities with a Victorian flavor? Oh, the Lady of the Manners is just a smidge envious of the people who get to go. Of course, the Seattle area has the Victorian Country Christmas Festival, but the Lady of the Manners hasn’t managed to visit it yet. Perhaps this year?

For the crafty, there’s always the choice of homemade goodies! Yummy treats such as gingerbread (bats, of course), Cocoa Nib and Pink Pepper Caramel Corn, or marshmallows (the Lady of the Manners flavors the ones she makes with a dash of rose or violet syrup) all make good presents, especially if you seal them up in a decorative jar or bag and add a hand-written note.

—

Now, onto the huge list of clicky-links! The Lady of the Manners has tried to enforce a vague sense of organization and categories upon this list, but trusts that you Snarklings will understand if there is a certain amount of “ooh, shiny things!” randomness to the whole thing. But first things first: allow the Lady of the Manners to remind you about the Gothic Charm School CafePress store! Surely there is someone on your list that needs a Gothic Charm School shirt? Remember, there are fourteen different designs to choose from!

An important thing to remember when ordering from small businesses and Etsy shops: It is vital to place your order early enough to allow for postage and travel time! If you do wait until the last minute to order something, don’t be surprised (or upset!) by rush shipping charges.

Clothing and Accessories

Kambriel’s One of a Kind offerings and her Etsy shop! Looking for a special something that is darkly elegant, with a dash of whimsy? Cravats, ascots, lace cuffs, bat pillows, sweeping gowns, shirts for dandies, gorgeous vintage jewelry that she’s found ”¦ the items Kambriel has on offer are always swoon-worthy.

Blasphemina’s Closet on Etsy. Neo-Victorian elegance with a punk Lolita twist, and gorgeous hair ornaments and brooches. (The Lady of the Manners is particularly fond of the Gothic Slytherin Fascinator, but freely admits she’s a huge Harry Potter fan.)

Gypsy Lady Hats on Etsy. Gorgeous hats for ladies and gentlemen. The Lady of the Manners is very fond of her own black-on-black striped top hat from them, and covets the black and white striped version of it rather fiercely.

The Scented Hatter and her Etsy shop, Noxenlux Chapeaux. Wonderful hats of the tiny and full-sized varieties! As well as delicious perfume oils!

Tormented Artifacts, with amazing leather masks, cuffs, utility belts, and even a very nifty “Communication Bracer” to keep your smartphone on your wrist.

Retroscope Fashions, one of the Lady of the Manners’ favorite clothing stores! They have a very good selection of clothing for ladies and gentlemen, in a better-than-average range of sizes. (If you purchase something from Retroscope, please tell them the Lady of the Manners sent you!)

Jewelry

Rocklove Designs Jewelry! Beautiful jewelry in a variety of styles, including the Gothic Charm School batty heart necklace!

Moon Raven Designs on Etsy. Bird skulls, bat skulls, skeletal chameleon rings, vertebra necklaces ”¦ all sorts of gorgeous jewelry, cast in a variety of different metals and finishes.

BloodMilk on Etsy. “Statement” jewelry featuring designs based off of animal and bird talons, Ouija board planchettes, and Victorian funerary pieces. (Why yes, the Lady of the Manners covets both the Our Darling ring and the Planchette Oracle ring, no surprise there.)

Bella Lili on Etsy. Beautiful, elegant jewelry with a Victorian Gothic flair.

Fable and Fury. Silhouette jewelry handmade in stainless steel. The Lady of the Manners is particularly fond of the Portraits of Icons line, because who doesn’t want a pendant featuring Edgar Allan Poe or Vincent Price?

Totus Mel Tats on Etsy. Delicate, elegant hand-tatted lace jewelry.

Dolls and Fuzzy Creatures

Vamplets! Adorable fuzzy baby vampire dolls! The Lady of the Manners beloved fanged companion, Clovis Devilbunny, is eagerly awaiting the arrival of the baby vampire that will soon be joining the Gothic Charm School family of fuzzy monsters. (Clovis has plans of training it to be a top-notch minion of fuzzy and cute evil.)

Devout Dolls on Etsy. Plush monsters! Snuggly scarves with fuzzy toy critters! Doll dresses! Gothic Charm School is home to a number of creatures from Devout Dolls, and they are all adorable and very snuggly.

Girlgoth’s Monster Nursery on Etsy. Adorable monsterhead pillows and monster holiday stockings! The Lady of the Manners has given Monsterhead pillows as presents, and they’ve always been gleefully received.

October Effigies by KerryKate on Etsy. Ghost dolls, opium dolls, dolls of circus oddities and skeletons; KerryKate’s creations look wonderful sitting amongst your books or tea cups.

ShariDepp Designs on Etsy, who offers all sorts of cute play sets for Monster High dolls. (The Lady of the Manners is in love with the Deluxe Eye Scream Parlour.)

Home Decor

Sin In Linen! Sheet sets, duvet covers, blankets, towels, shower curtains, pyjama pants, and more, all in prints that will appeal to those with darker tastes. The Lady of the Manners is especially fond of the Voodoo Bones and Big Top Stripes sheets.

Dark Candles! Candles, room scents, and body care products, all with delicious scents inspired by the dark. You almost certainly know someone who needs candles scented with Dark Carnival, Dracula, or Haunted House, don’t you?

Killhouettes. Wonderfully morbid Victorian-style silhouette art! Oh goodness, now with a necklace and a tarot deck, which the Lady of the Manners had not known about.

Makeup, Perfume, and Body Care

Aromaleigh. Yes, one of the Lady of the Manners’ favorite cosmetic companies has returned, and are currently offering three new collections of eye shadows, plus sales on some of the previous stock. And they say that new foundations, primers, and more are coming soon.

Morgana Cryptoria. Beautiful cosmetics, featuring vegan lipsticks and glosses in very Goth-friendly colors!

Villainess. Soaps, scrubs, perfume oils, lotions, and other goodies, all in scrumptious scents. How can you resist scents like Bloodsugar, Dulces en Fuego, Ennui, or Exsanguination?

Possets, home to such wonderful scents such as Id, Ego, Super Ego, Brownian Motion, and Quinacridone Scarlet. The Lady of the Manners has lost hours to browsing the Possets catalog.

Stores Full of Shiny, Wonderful Things!

Queenie’s Pocket Full of Posiez on Etsy. Dolls, jewelry, purses, art prints, vinyl wall art, pins, and holiday ornaments, all with Queenie’s “deadly cute” art. Everything in Queenie’s shop is simply adorable.

Gorey Details. Pretty much your one-stop shop for spooky gifts, including notecards, books, rubber stamps, toys, jewelry, t-shirts, stickers, stuffed toys, and collectibles. With goodies from the lines of Edward Gorey, Tim Burton, Alchemy Gothic, and Furry Bones, and store sections such as Dracula’s Bat Cave, Zombies and Classic Monsters, and Halloweentown, a Goth-inclined shopper could spend hours browsing this store’s site.

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You see, Snarklings? The Lady of the Manners really wasn’t joking when she said the Holiday Gift Guide was an enormous list of clicky-links! She hopes that you find it helpful, and that all of you have a happy and wonderful winter. But now, she’s going to go brew some more tea, maybe pop some popcorn, and curl up to watch one of her favorite holiday movies. (The Nightmare Before Christmas, of course!) And as always, do feel free to write!

Posted in Book Reviews, Holidays & Special Occasions | Leave a comment

Of Defining Yourself By Other People

Posted on November, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners is finally rousing herself from some much-needed napping, only to realize that the holiday season is upon us! With that in mind, the Lady of the Manners is working on a simply enormous holiday gift guide type of post, full of suggestions and clicky-links to Goth and Goth-friendly artists and retailers. However, that doesn’t mean that the Lady of the Manners is not going to look at reader questions, and this installment of Gothic Charm School looks at two different sides of the issue: allowing other people to define who you are.

Fae sent the following question:

Dear Lady Manners,

I am a Goth, however I am very low-key about it. Still being relatively young with a rather conservative family forces me to be a bit more subtle about my Gothy-ness (though most friends say that it is still obvious). I do not question myself or my tastes, but others seem to.

I used to spend time with another girl who considers herself Goth (I shall keep my own opinions about it quiet…). She was rather insistent that if I was not full out frilly Goth then I was not really Goth. I dislike wearing heavy make-up and must keep my wardrobe subtle, so in her opinion, I am not Goth.

Is there any advice you can give me to make her see that HER particular brand of Goth doesn’t have to be EVERYONE’S Goth?

Thank-You,

Fae

Congratulations Fae, you have now met one of the quintessential cliches of gothdom: the Gother-Than-Thou type. The person who believes that their version of Goth is the One True Form of Gothness, and that anyone who doesn’t conform to their (usually rather narrow) guidelines is not a Real Goth.

Every subculture and fandom has people who will loudly proclaim “I’m more [fill-in-the-blank] than YOU, and you’re doing it WRONG” at the slightest provocation, not just Goth. But because the Goth community has a perception of being elitist, the Gother-Than-Thou types can seem particularly visible and vocal. Allow the Lady of the Manners to let you in on a little secret: they’re wrong. People who insist that their way is the One True Way are almost always people who ”¦ oh gracious, there’s no other way to put this, they are people who, deep in their black little hearts, are worried that they are Doing It Wrong, that they aren’t a Real Goth. If they talk about what is and isn’t really Goth, it helps them quiet that little voice of doubt that tells them someone else may call them a fraud.

Which is ridiculous, of course. For all that the Lady of the Manners jokes about them, there are no Goth Points, no GothCard, and no all-powerful and secret Cabal of ElderGoths who give people a black, spooky stamp of approval. (For one thing, we can never agree on the final logo design!) Not being a full-out frilly Goth with wildly-colored hair and tons of makeup just means that it probably takes you less time to get ready in the morning (or afternoon, if you have a semi-nocturnal schedule much like the Lady of the Manners does these days). There is no final arbitrator of Gothness, no matter what some people say.

Yes, there are certain visual signifiers that Goths gravitate toward, and elaborate clothing and makeup are some of them. However, these are not required to be a Goth. Some people aren’t interested in such things, but still adore the music and literature. Some people, such as yourself, Fae, are not in a position where they can be as flamboyant as they may prefer. That doesn’t mean that they’re less of a Goth, it just means they have different opinions, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

You asked if the Lady of the Manners had any advice to make this person see that her particular brand of Goth doesn’t have to be everyone’s Goth. Sadly, the answer is no. Oh, you can quote the previous paragraphs to her, but the Lady of the Manners would be willing to bet at least a cupcake that it wouldn’t make a bit of difference. When people believe that their way is the only way, it doesn’t matter what arguments or rebuttals are presented to them. They will almost certainly disregard anything said, dismissing all of it with a wave of their hand and the ironclad belief that they’re right and you’re wrong and being foolish.

So what should you do? Smile (sweetly or icily, it’s up to you), and say something along the lines of, “That’s your opinion”, or “We’ll just have to agree to disagree”. Don’t waste your time or energy trying to defend yourself or change their mind, just let them go on their opinionated way. Besides, people who set themselves up as arbitrators of Real Goth eventually run into someone who is even Gother-Than-THEM, and find themselves on the uncomfortable receiving end of one of those “”¦ but you’re doing it wrong, and not really a Goth” decrees. So again, don’t waste your time trying to change her mind. Instead, focus on the things that you enjoy.

—

The next reader question is not quite the flip side to Fae’s question, but is closely related. What should you do when you keep comparing yourself in an unflattering way to someone else?


Dear Lady of the Manners,

I am writing to you because I have a goth-related problem that I’m not quite sure how to deal with. Its a weight/self image issue and also a jealousy issue. You see I go to a university where there are very very few goths, maybe 4 or 5. There’s me, then a few acquaintances that I don’t really see much.

Anyway, there’s this one girl that I can’t help but be insanely jealous of. Her style is very close to mine, we like a lot of the same things, but she’s very pretty and much thinner than me. She can get away with wearing short skirts and bustiers and look good in them, while I just look like a…for lack of a better word a “Gothopotomus” if I tried to wear the same thing. I mean I bear her no ill will, she’s really nice and we get along fairly well, but I always feel second rate when she’s around. I’ve taken advantage of the Victorian goth style with long sleeves and hemlines to cover up everything because of my weight.

But there are still times when I feel like I can’t do the things I want to do because I’d be copying her. Like this time she was talking about this set of cleaver hair clips she found online, and I’d been considering buying the exact ones.

Or there are also times when I feel frumpy compared to her even when I’m wearing my tightest corset and my best red lipstick. But my main issue is I always feel like a fraud, like a second rate goth when she’s around because people seem to like her better. She always gets cast in the local films or haunted houses that are looking for a ‘goth girl.’ She makes a prettier, better put together goth girl than I do. I mean, I’ve been dressing this way for 7 years but she wears it better.

She looks like what I’ve always wanted to look like, the girl with the perfect slim figure and perfect pale skin. The alluring vamp, the temptress. But I don’t look like that at all, I just look goofy and matronly. I’m not quite sure what to do about it.

Sincerely,
Viridiean

Oh Viridiean, the Lady of the Manners is completely sympathetic to your issues, especially the part about wanting to look like something you’re not. For example, the Lady of the Manners has also longed to look elegantly feral and like a gorgeous predatory vamp, but has (mostly!) come to terms with simply not having the bone structure for it, and instead looking like a spooky and whimsical cartoon character.

You are not alone in looking at people you consider prettier than you and being jealous; the Lady of the Manners suspects that it’s a flaw that is hard-wired into the human condition. But! Letting it gnaw at you and make you feel bad about yourself is not the answer. It’s important to remember that no one (and the Lady of the Manners means NO ONE) has a perfect life, and that no matter how envious you are of this girl and her looks, there are certainly people that she envies just as much.

However, what is even more important to realize (and remember) is that comparing yourself to someone else and letting that keep you from doing what you want is an extremely bad idea. In fact, it’s more than an extremely bad idea; it’s soul-destroying and can lead into the trap of not doing anything, because so-and-so does it better so why should you even bother.

Be warned, the Lady of the Manners is going to get a tiny bit vehement and belligerent here: DO NOT FALL INTO THIS TRAP. Tell your brain to shut up, and so what if it thinks that this other girl is prettier, thinner, or a better Goth than you? None of those things matter. What matters is being true to yourself, and being kind to yourself. Yes, some of these are shop-worn self-help cliches, but that doesn’t make them any less true. You need to treat yourself the way you want other people to treat you. Dress the way you want to dress, and for heaven’s sake, stop thinking of yourself as a “Gothopotomus”. Thinking less of yourself and thinking of yourself as a fraud isn’t going to make things better, and it certainly isn’t going to somehow transform you into that other girl. There comes a point in everyone’s life where they have to accept who they are, and then do the best they can with that. Which means, dear Viridiean, that while the jealousy and self-esteem issues you’re struggling with are completely understandable, they’re holding you back from being the most wonderful and intriguing person you can be.

Now, the Lady of the Manners knows all too well that telling yourself to not think like that is easier said than done. It takes vigilance and practice. When you realize you’re comparing yourself to this other girl, stop and ask yourself if you’d talk to a friend like that. Then concentrate on something about yourself that you like; your eyes, your voice, your skill with words, your sense of humor, something. Do this every time you catch yourself in that loop of self-belittlement.

One other very important thing: you don’t have to struggle with this alone. Talk to your close friends, because even if they aren’t Goths, they will still understand. Check to see if your college offers counseling services, and talk to a trained professional about your battle with your self-esteem demons. Please don’t feel you have to suffer under these these negative thoughts, and please treat yourself with kindness.

—

Oh Snarklings, there are times when the Lady of the Manners wishes she could just swoop down and hug all of you and tell you that things will work out, and that they do get better. (She also wishes she could answer ALL of your letters, but unless she suddenly gets a time machine, that’s simply not going to happen.)

Anyway, the Lady of the Manners is going to go brew herself some “Read My Lips” tea from David’s Tea (oh, so delicious!), and get back to browsing clicky-links for the upcoming holiday gift guide. Please, all of you, be kind to yourselves and others, and as always, feel free to write!

Posted in Growing Pains, Serious Matters | Leave a comment

Of Gothy Age Limits (There Aren’t Any), And Of A Bad Idea In The Name Of “Fashion”

Posted on November, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! Guess what? This installment of Gothic Charm School is going to, ::gasp:: answer some letters from readers! A flock of them, some of which are from the younger readers. (The Lady of the Manners loves getting mail from readers, but letters from the younger babybats do make her go “Awww!” in fond affection.)

The first question is from a young creature with a concern that their older brother has planted in his head:

Dear Lady of The Manners,I’m 10 years old and my older brother says I am too young to be goth and I don’t know what to do.Am I too young to be goth? Or is there even a age limt

Oh you poor darling babybat. Firstly, the Lady of the Manners would like to direct you to a previous post on this very topic: Of Being “Too Young” To Be A Goth. Here, allow the Lady of the Manners to quote the paragraph that will be nearest to your heart:

Oh Snarkling, no, you are not too young to be a Goth. While most people associate the Gothic subculture with people in their teens and twenties, there is no age limit for Goth in either direction. You are never too young (or too old) to look for beauty in dark places, to have a morbid sense of humor, or to be able to look at the magic and monstrousness of the world around you.

The Lady of the Manners knows six and seven-year olds who are Very Gothy Indeed, what with their preferences for black or crimson clothes, stories about monsters or ghosts, and their fondness for dressing up as vampires or witches. Good heavens, the Lady of the Manners parents’ used to say that they should have realized how she was going to turn out once she started announcing that she wanted to grow up to be the Wicked Witch of the West and live in a castle with an army of flying monkeys, or that she was going to grow up and be a vampire queen. So no dear Snarkling, there is no such thing as being too young to be a Goth.

The Lady of the Manners is a little curious as to why your older brother would tell you such a thing. Perhaps it’s because he considers himself a Goth, and doesn’t want his younger sibling tagging along. The Lady of the Manners doesn’t agree with such a notion, but can certainly understand that an elder brother may feel that way. Or perhaps your older brother is not even remotely Goth, but feels that Goth is scary and dangerous, and thus wants to protect you. Which is sweet and well-intentioned, but is motivated by some very false ideas.

Again, no, 10 is not too young to consider yourself a Goth. There are parts of the Goth subculture that are not age-appropriate for you, but the fiction, the music, and the interest in beauty in darkness are available for all ages.

—
The next question is from a “really confused 12 year old” by the name of bre:

Dear Lady of the Manners,

First of I would like to say I love your website! But my question is am I a goth? I only have 2 earings on each ear and havent dyed my hair(my grandmother wont let me)and I am not a major poetry fan. On the other hand my closet is full of black and I have a serious obsession with vampire books and skulls. I would be happy if you could sort this out for me.

A really confused 12 year old,
bre

Darling babybat, do not worry about having “only 2 earrings”, a natural hair color, or even not being a fan of poetry. None of these things are required to be a Goth. It may be a shocking idea, but there is no checklist from the Goth Cabal (which doesn’t exist) including things such as piercings, hair dye, or poetry appreciation. (Though’ really, you don’t even like “The Raven” by Edgar Allan Poe? What if it was read by Sir Christopher Lee? Or by Christopher Walken?)

The question is, dear bre, do you feel you are a Goth? You say you’re obsessed with vampire books and skulls, and your closet is full of black. To the Lady of the Manners, those are certainly signs that you have some gothy tendencies. Because Goth is more than the sum of its parts; it’s more than dark, swirling, or bombastic music, it’s more than dark and decadent fashions, it’s more than a taste for eerie or supernatural stories. In the Lady of the Manner’s opinion, Goth is also about feeling (to quote Lydia from Beetlejuice) “strange and unusual”, about looking at the world in a different way. Yes, the world can be a horrible place, but Goth isn’t about celebrating that. Goth is about finding things to celebrate and admire in spite of the world being less than perfect.

So. The Lady of the Manners is not going to tell you if you are a Goth or not, mostly because the Lady of the Manners is not going to make those sorts of judgement calls for people. It is up to you to decide if you’re a Goth, not up to anyone else. (No, not even those handy-dandy Goth Tests that you can find all over the internet.) So what do you think? Are you a Goth?

—

Pavi wrote in asking about a troubling trend at his school:

Dear Lady of the Manners,

I have found very good information on this site, however I still have a small question on one important theme. You see, my school have a certain “fashion” for cutting the wrists. I see people with cuts and scars all day, and some even like to show off bloodstains on clothing and such. If they be cut because they have depressed I would understand but to cut as fashion I simply don’t.

Do you have any idea why this could be, and if so, do you know any way to make it stop before my friends start cut wrists?

Thank-you for answering and sorry about my mistaken grammar.

The Lady of the Manners is horrified to hear about this. And honestly, the Lady of the Manners doesn’t have a good answer for why your classmates think this is a good idea. The only thing she can come up with is that perhaps your friends think that they need to show how “edgy” (and oh! How the Lady of the Manners loathes that word and concept) they are, how tormented and oh-so-hardcore they are.

The Lady of the Manners is going to be blunt here: this is a very DUMB fashion. It is pathetic, and is making light of a very serious issue. Not to mention that is helps reinforce some of the worst and most damaging misconceptions about Goths. What should you do? Confront your friends about this. Ask them why they’re doing this, why they think it’s cool, and do they realize how much of a bad and foolish cliché they’re being? Really, the Lady of the Manners is almost at a loss for words about this. As she has said before self-harm doesn’t help solve anything; mimicking self-harm as a fashion statement is appalling, clueless, and, yes, idiotic. So ask your friends why they’re doing it. Perhaps just the act of you asking them point-blank why they’re doing it will be enough of a wake-up call as to the ridiculousness of their behavior. The Lady of the Manners can but hope.

—

The last question in this lesson at Gothic Charm School is from Miss Kitty, asking about what to do when imitation isn’t exactly flattering anymore:

Dear Ms. Venters,

I have quite the dilemma in which I must ask of your assistance.
You see I know this charming young girl, who is very…interested in dressing gothy and taking part of this lovely subculture.
Now this greatly pleases me too a point. This lovely child is starting to copy the way i tend to dress, which is very flattering, until she owns and exact replica of several outfits of mine. In this case, it’s becoming rather bothersome and kind of creepy. She also has taken a liking to very fetishy styles, which are all very lovely…but not quite right for someone around 12.
I honestly don’t know how to point her in the right direction, her mother is against dressing as such, and is starting to state that i am a “bad influence” on her child. I would very much wish to avoid unpleasant squabbles. Also I’d like to help steer her toward more acceptable styles for both her age and that her mother would accept….and help her create a style all her own (instead of looking like she borrowed from my closet! ;P)

Thank you very much for you’re time!~
Hugs and zombie kisses!
~Miss Kitty
(Also I’m not forgetting to show her the music as well!, and you have the CUTEST fashion sense <3)

Firstly, thank you for the nice compliment! Now, as to your dilemma ”¦ oh dear. The Lady of the Manners is delighted to hear that you have taking a gothling under your wing, but understands your dismay at her trying to precisely imitate your wardrobe. The Lady of the Manners had an epiphany about this sort of thing the other day; on the one hand, as the Lady of the Manners has said many, many times, no one in the Goth world has a 100% original style, and we all need to get over ourselves. On the other hand, it can be incredibly disconcerting to see someone copying your style as exactly as they can, because then it feels like they’re trying you on as a costume. (To be clear, the Lady of the Manners is delighted when she’s told about people dressing up as her for Halloween or other fancy-dress events — even the Lady of the Manners’ wonderful Mom occasionally borrowed items from her closet for a costume.) But when it’s not for a specific costume, seeing someone turning themselves into a carbon copy of yourself feels a little weird. As to the showing a liking for fetish-y styles, the Lady of the Manners absolutely agrees with you in that they are lovely, but in no way appropriate for someone who is 12. No wonder her mother is starting to be concerned!

So what can you do? To start off, have a talk with your young friend and explain that while her emulation of your wardrobe is flattering, she should be figuring out her own style and who she wants to be. Offer to help her go through her own wardrobe to come up with fun outfits that express her growing sense of gothy style without looking like she’s a paper doll of you. And explain that yes, fetishwear-inspired clothing is striking, but sends some messages about sexuality that she shouldn’t be broadcasting (even unintentionally) at her age. (You may want to take a look at the posts Of Goths On Makeover Shows, And Of Parental Concerns About Provocative Clothing for some further commentary about that.)

You also should sit down and talk with the young lady’s mother, and reassure her that you are not out to corrupt her daughter, and it isn’t your intent to be a “bad influence”. Ask her mother what her worries are, and do your best to address her concerns. Maybe do some things with her mother around, such as a movie day with family-friendly Goth fare such as The Addams Family and Addams Family Values, Beetlejuice, or The Nightmare Before Christmas? Or baking gingerbread bats?

Again, the Lady of the Manners is incredibly happy that you’re trying to help one of the babybats out there explore and learn about the Goth subculture. Good luck!

—

With that, Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners is going to go have some tea, read (yet another!) vampire novel, and perhaps give herself another blood spattered manicure. (You didn’t think the Lady of the Manners only indulged in that during October, did you?) Oooh, and maybe get around to doing a particular wardrobe D.I.Y. project involving shoes and spikes that she’s been thinking of writing a tutorial about ”¦ However, as always, please feel free to write!

Posted in General, Growing Pains, Serious Matters | Leave a comment

Nocturnal House: Vampire Kisses

Posted on October, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Happy Halloween, Snarklings! For this visit to the Nocturnal House, I’ve decided to take a break from the usual sort of gruesome and terrifying vampires I prefer to read about, and instead, in the spirit of trick-or-treating, indulge in a sweet and spooky treat.

Now, I read a lot of YA vampire books. (I read a lot of vampire books, period.) But the various YA takes on vampire fiction fascinate me, in part because the YA books often have a bit more plot going on than some of the “grown-up” market vampire novels. Probably because YA authors don’t have the easy narrative drive of vampire sex scenes.

(An aside: hey, I’m all for well-written vampire smut! WELL-WRITTEN being the key words there. There are certain authors who rely a bit too heavily on sex scenes, with the end result being kind of boring, and there is nothing sadder in a vampire novel than tedious, yawn-inducing smut.)

Anyway! YA vampire books! There are a couple of series I read which cause me to eagerly wait for the newest volume to be released. My very favorite series has earned a place on my comfort reading shelf, and the first book of the series is one I indulge in when I need cheering up.

Vampire Kisses, by Ellen Schreiber

This book is adorable. It’s a cloud of pink and black cotton candy; fluffy, sugary, but with a sweetly spooky overtone. Here, maybe the opening will show why I mentally draw glittery hearts and bats around this book:

It first happened when I was five.

I had just finished coloring in My Kindergarten Book. It was filled with Picasso-like drawings of my mom and dad, an Elmer’s-glued, tissue-papered collage, and the answers to questions (favorite color, pets, best friend, etc.) written down by our hundred-year-old teacher, Mrs. Peevish.

My classmates and I were sitting in a semicircle on the floor in the reading area. “Bradley, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Mrs. Peevish asked after all the other questions had been answered.

“A fire fighter!” he shouted.

“Cindi?”

“Uh”¦a nurse,” Cindi Warren whispered meekly.

Mrs. Peevish went through the rest of the class. Police officers. Astronauts. Football players. Finally it was my turn.

“Raven, what do you want to be when you grow up?” Mrs. Peevish asked, her green eyes staring through me.

I said nothing.

“An actress?”

I shook my head.

“A doctor?”

“Nuh, uh,” I said.

“A flight attendant?”

“Yuck!” I replied.

“Then what?” she asked, annoyed.

I thought for a moment. “I want to be”¦”

“Yes?”

“I want to be”¦a vampire!” I shouted, to the shock and amazement of Mrs. Peevish and my classmates. For a moment I thought she started to laugh; maybe she really did. The children sitting next to me inched away.

I spent most of my childhood watching others inch away.

How could I not fall in love with the book at that point? Vampire Kisses is about sixteen year-old Raven Madison, the only goth girl in the small town she calls Dullsville. Her parents, little brother, and best friend Becky love her, but don’t necessarily understand her black-clad, vampire-obsessed ways. There’s her nemesis, soccer jock Trevor, who loves to torment her. Then, on Raven’s sixteenth birthday, a family rumored to be vampires move into the haunted Mansion in town!

“I saw a Mercedes parked at the Mansion!” I informed my family at dinner. I was late as usual, this time for my own birthday dinner.

“I heard they looked like the Addams Family,” Nerd Boy said.

“Maybe they have a daughter your age. Someone who doesn’t like to get into trouble,” my mother added.

“Then I’d have no use for her.”

“Maybe she has a father I can play tennis with,” my father said hopefully.

“Whoever it is will need to get rid of all those old mirrors and crates,” I added, not realizing what I had said. They all looked at me.

“What crates?” my mom asked. “Don’t tell me you’ve snuck into that house!”

“It’s just something I heard.”

“Raven!” my mother said in that disapproving mother tone.

It seemed no one in Dullsville had seen the new owners. It was wonderful to have a mystery in this town for a change.

Over the course of the story, Raven gets into assorted scrapes while trying to find out the truth about the Stirling family, including run-ins with golden boy Trevor, a stint in an after-school job to pay for her dad’s tennis racquet, which she lost on Halloween night (why yes, she dressed up as the scariest thing she could think of – a preppy tennis player), sneaking into the Stirling Mansion, and finally, finally meeting Alexander Stirling: seventeen, nocturnal, home-schooled, and the handsomest Goth boy she’d ever dreamed of.

Gothy girl meets Gothy boy, Gothy girl still suspects that her spooky dreamboat really is a vampire. Gothy girl also has to deal with the harassment from Trevor, the gossip around Dullsville about the weird Stirling family, being nervous about asking Alexander to the Snow Ball dance, and why is Becky being so unenthusiastic about the Snow Ball, anyway?

Yes, it’s a teen romance. But Raven rings true as an outcast babybat teen girl longing for a more spooky world. I’m self-aware enough to know that if Vampire Kisses had been around during my adolescence, I would have identified with Raven so hard I might have vanished into the book. As fictional characters to identify with go, Raven isn’t a bad choice. She’s fiercely loyal to her family and friends, she’s determined to be herself in a town full of people who think she needs to fit in, and she refuses to be a doormat. No matter what taunts Trevor throws her way, she returns fire with snarky wit, frequently showing him up as the insecure jerk he is. In fact, the only thing that I didn’t like about Raven is that she’s not that interested in school. Every Goth I’ve ever known is some flavor of bookworm; maybe not everyone liked school, but we all liked reading and learning about the world. When you’re yearning for a darker, more glamorous world than the one around you, books offer a glimpse into other, possible worlds.

As teen romances go, it’s a better one than most. Raven doesn’t make Alexander her whole world, and decides that the reality of having a sweetheart she can relate to is better than her dreams of being swept away by a darkly handsome vampire prince. But because it’s a teen romance, there’s a big scene at the Snow Ball, confusion, and a Big Reveal at a party. Not to mention that Raven may have to revisit some ideas she once held dear, especially ones about vampires ”¦

He walked me to the door and playfully bit me on the neck with his vampire teeth.

I laughed and tried to pull the fake teeth out of his mouth.

“Ouch,” he exclaimed.

“You’re not supposed to Superglue them on!”

“Raven, you don’t still believe in vampires, do you?” he asked.

“I think you’ve cured me of that,” I answered. “But I’m going to keep the black lipstick.”

As I said at the beginning of this post, the entire Vampire Kisses series is a sweet and spooky treat. Each book is just as charming as the one before, and Ellen Schrieber explores some interesting ideas in between dollops of gothy teen romance: Should you change your life to be with the person you love? What about keeping secrets? How difficult is it to live in the daylight world when your heart belongs to the night? My favorite of the series is probably Vampire Kisses 5: The Coffin Club, but as it is a book set primarily in a Goth club with a secret vampire club in the basement, how could it not be?

The Vampire Kisses series is in no way scary, and the vampires aren’t that monstrous. But I find the books adorable, and I re-read them when I am in need of something sweet, comforting, and adorably gothy. What are your favorite dark or spooky comfort books?

Posted in Book Reviews, Nocturnal House | Tagged , , , | 81 Comments

Waiting For The Great Pumpkin: Halloween Ideas

Posted on October, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! Gracious, how did it become mid-October all ready? The Lady of the Manners feels it is a trifle unfair for October to be subject to the same sort of passage of time that the rest of the year is, because October is the most wonderful time of the year! Halloween season, Snarklings! The time of year when a clever Goth can find all sorts of goodies to use year-round! As some of you may have now guessed, this installment of Gothic Charm School is devoted to Halloween: interesting blogs, wonderful goodies, and helpful hints about the Lady of the Manners’ favorite holiday.

“Interesting blogs?” you may be saying. Oh yes, Snarklings. There are some wonderful Halloween-themed blogs out there, and the Lady of the Manners loves reading them. At the very top of her list is the spooktacular Tumblr blog 365 Days of Halloween! A never-ending stream of images, stories, and clicky-links all somehow relating to Halloween. Decor ideas! Costume suggestions! Makeup tutorials! Recipes! Sorry for all the exclamation points there, Snarklings, but the Lady of the Manners adores the 365 Days of Halloween Tumblr, and has spent many happy hours scrolling through it.

Old Fashion Halloween is a delightful mix of vintage Halloween ephemera from the blogger’s personal collection (she used to run a fabulous online store with the same name, but has since gotten out of the online retail business) and interesting things she finds around the Web.

Not quite a blog, but still all sorts of fun to visit is the Nightmares Fear Factory Pic of the Day. The Nightmares Fear Factory has cleverly set up webcams in their haunted scare attraction, thus giving us photos of people being startled while creeping through the halls. The Lady of the Manners loves haunted houses and scare attractions, but openly admits she has to psych herself up into a “Aww, happy monsters and lunatics! Cousins from distant branches of the Addams Family!” -sort of mindset before she can go through any of them. And even then, there are a few scare attractions that she would never, ever be able to bring herself to go through.

Halloween goodies! One of the best things about the Halloween season is that Goths can find all sorts of basic supplies and treats. For basics: this is the time of year to stock up on black lipstick, nail polish, and fishnet, spiderweb, and stripy tights. The Lady of the Manners has found that in the USA, the “Fantasy Makers” brand of makeup can be relied on for nice opaque dark lipsticks and polishes, plus interesting false eyelashes. This year she’s also seen many displays of Halloween or horror-themed press-on nail kits (including ones that mimic the blood spattered manicure that was a Gothic Charm School tutorial!), so you can easily decorate your nails with skulls, spiderwebs, and bats.

Most general stores, such as Target, Wallgreens, Wal-Mart, and whatever local versions there are (the Pacific Northwest has Fred Meyer and Bartell’s) carry Halloween socks and hosiery that are just as good as any you’d find in an upscale gothy boutique. The Lady of the Manners personally has been known to clear a store out of their entire stock of black & white striped tights in one fell swoop, thus ensuring she doesn’t need to purchase more tights for a year or so. Also, keep an eye on the newspaper ads and coupon fliers for additional savings.

More and more companies are coming out with household items that are less cartoonish-Halloween but more elegantly macabre. There are skeletal hand oven mitts, skeletal aprons (oh, how the Lady of the Manners wishes the pink apron weren’t such a neon shade of pink), a set of skeletal hands to hold a glass drink dispenser (believe the Lady of the Manners when she says she had to think long and hard about whether she really could justify such a delightful item, but finally decided that she didn’t have the counter space), bat lace tablecloths (the Lady of the Manners is going to turn hers into an overskirt, having decided that her skirts need batty adornment more than any tables do) ”¦ really, Snarklings. The wealth of deliciously spooky knick-knacks out there is astonishing. Craft stores like Jo-Ann Fabrics and Michael’s Crafts are full of candles (both traditional and those clever LED “flameless” ones, for people who don’t want to worry about their pets knocking things over and setting themselves and the house alight), skulls of all sizes, black roses, black and purple feather wreaths, and all sorts of other delights that some people foolishly consider to be not for everyday use. (But we know better, don’t we?)

If you’re clever and have some D.I.Y. skills, the Costumes and Accessories aisles of all sorts of stores are also good places to find items that can be restyled to free them from their potentially cheese-o-riffic costume connotations. Silly “spooky” jewelry can be taken apart, painted, and combined with other things (such as silk flowers, ribbons, lace, or buttons) to be transformed into darkly elegant and macabre accessories. (Skeleton hands, spider clips, and skull ornaments are particularly good for such projects!) Halloween t-shirts can be left plain or adorned with trim, then worn with all sorts of gothy fashion staples. (The Lady of the Manners is particularly fond of her t-shirt printed with the skeletal system combined with a Victorian-esque jacket and full skirts.)

Another good thing to do during the Halloween retail season is to check out the thrift stores. It’s a fairly well-known secret that thrift stores hold on to the really interesting clothing (vintage and otherwise) in order to put it out on the “costume” racks in October. Just be aware that if you roam around a thrift store in your gothy finery, other shoppers will almost certainly assume that you are a store employee, and ask for your help in assembling a costume “just like yours”. But that is a trifling and minor irritant to put up with in order to plunder the really good stock and to find that particular vintage waistcoat or skirt that really doesn’t deserve the fate of being worn once a year as part of someone’s costume.

October is always full of things to do: almost every club, bar, and cafe throws a Halloween party and/or costume contest, there are spooky-themed plays and concerts everywhere, and some cities have ghost tours. But what if you don’t have the time, budget, or are of the appropriate age to attend the really wild Halloween entertainments? Why then, you make your own! Pumpkin carving parties are certainly apropos, and eviscerating helpless gourds does come with gruesome, squelchy fun. If you’re not up for pumpkin guts, many craft stores sell hollow foam pumpkins that look very realistic and can be carved just like the real thing, without the sticky mess. Just be sure to use a LED “candle” in them, not real fire. You and your friends can organize a movie night with a Halloween theme, be it movies about the holiday, classic monsters, or the silliest B- and Z- grade horror movies you can unearth. Or to go really antique, hold a ghost story party! Have everyone bring a snack and their favorite ghost story; douse the lights, light a few candles, and read each other ghost stories with a flashlight held in a trembling hand. You may even want to indulge in baking a batch of gingerbread bats.

Finally, the Lady of the Manners is compelled to remind all of you that this Halloween of 2011 is the closing day of the Kickstarter project for the movie My Summer As A Goth! Thank you to everyone so far who has helped us get closer to our goal by pledging or spreading the word. For added Halloween fun, there’s a Halloween Movie Party, and oh yes, the Lady of the Manners is going to be there.

Friday, October 28, 2011
”¨7PM (reception) 7:30 ”“ 9PM (movie)
Ӭ(Haunted) Hollywood Theatre
Ӭ4122 NE Sandy BlvdӬPortland, OR

The producers of My Summer As A Goth invite you to “get your Goth on” at a pre-Halloween bash at the Hollywood theatre as a fundraising benefit for the film’s Kickstarter campaign! There will be a screening of a classic vampire film, pizza, and raffle prizes of cool GOTH-related merchandise!

ALL AGES ”“ $10 -$20 donation at the door ”“ $5 raffle tickets ”“ Prize for the best costume!

—

With that, Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners is going to do a smidge more Halloween window shopping, and then rummage in her closets for the perfect ruffled white blouse to decorate liberally with the Bloodstix hot glue sticks she recently purchased, to create a new version of her Victorian vampire outfit. She hopes all of you have a wonderfully haunting Halloween, and please do write!

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Kickstarter: My Summer As A Goth. Help Make A Movie!

Posted on September, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! Remember in the previous post, wherein the Lady of the Manners linked to a Kickstarter page for a movie project? As those of you who follow the Lady of the Manners on various social networking sites know, the Lady of the Manners is involved with getting a movie made!

My Summer As A Goth

The film in a nutshell: sixteen-year-old Joey Javitts is sent to live with her grandparents for the summer. During the course of the summer, Joey falls for the neighborhood Goth boy, Victor. She is transformed by Victor and his merry gang of fellow Goths from an average, run-of-the-mill teenager to Goth goddess–falling in love, making friends, and finding herself in the process.

It’s a story about trying to figure out who you are, trying on personae, and the changes we put ourselves through for love. It’s sweet, it’s heartfelt, and it’s very, very funny. The delightful Tara Johnson-Medinger (co-producer) and Brandon Roberts (co-producer and writer) contacted the Lady of the Manners about being their “go-to Goth” and consultant for the movie, and after reading the script, the Lady of the Manners could just not say no.

After posting the Kickstarter page to all the social networks, a very charming Snarkling wrote in with questions about the project:


question: Hello, dear Lady of The Manners. I have been a part of your website for like about a year i think (2010) and we have the same name (awesome)! I am 13 years old. I’ve heard that you have been a part of the My Summer As A Goth 2012 SUMMER MOVIE. I have so many questions. i AM SO EXCITED and so thrilled that you are a part of this project.

Q 1: Is this movie going to be in theatres? When in 2012?

Q 2: Will it be on DVD or on iTunes?

Q 3: How can I help donate money to them?

Thanx
Jillian (Jill)

1. The movie hasn’t been made yet! It is going to start filming in the summer of 2012, with a goal of a Spring/Summer 2013 release date. The Kickstarter project is to raise specific start-up production costs for the filming: to assemble an investment package to shop around to potential investors and marketers, to hire a casting agent, pay some of the kind and talented people who’ve already been working on the project, and all the other getting-a-film-made details necessary to get the project moving.

2. DVD and iTunes releases are part of the hoped-for-future of the movie, but those are things that will be focused on once the film is made.

3. How can you help donate money? Why, through the Kickstarter page! Here, let the Lady of the Manners give you some information directly from the Kickstarter FAQ:

How do I pledge?
To pledge to a project, just click the green “Back This Project” button on any project page. You will be asked to enter your pledge amount and select a reward. From there, you will go through the Amazon checkout process. Note that you must finish the Amazon checkout process for your pledge to be recorded.

If I make a pledge, when is my card charged?
If the project you’re backing is successfully funded, your card will be charged when the project reaches its funding deadline. If the project does not reach its funding goal, your card is never charged.

If funding does not succeed do backers pay anything?
Nothing. If funding fails, all pledges are canceled and that’s that.

It’s that last bit that the Lady of the Manners really wants to call your attention to. The project must reach the funding goal to receive the money; if it misses the goal, even by a few dollars, the pledges are null.

So! One of the biggest ways you can help the movie become a reality is to make a pledge. The Lady of the Manners is well aware that things are tight for everyone right now, but hopes you lovely people are able to pledge even $5. But if your finances won’t stretch to that (and gracious, does the Lady of the Manners understand about tight budgets), there are still ways you can help support the project:

– Help us spread the word! Post about the Kickstarter campaign to your blog, Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, or LJ!

– Go to the My Summer As A Goth Facebook page and click that oh-so-useful “Like” button! (That’s actually more helpful than the Lady of the Manners originally realized: many “Likes” on Facebook translates to eyes on the project, which is Useful Information to tell potential investors about.)

– Become part of the My Summer As A Goth street team! Send an email to info@mysummerasagoth.com for more information.

– Follow the My Summer As A Goth blog!

What if you’re a younger reader and you want to make a pledge? The Lady of the Manners has read through the Kickstarter FAQ, and can’t find anything about age limits for people who want to make a pledge, just that they must have an Amazon.com account. Does the Lady of the Manners really need to say that you absolutely must ask your parent or guardian before merrily using their Amazon.com account to make a pledge? No, she thought not, but better to hammer that point home than to make an assumption that would get people in trouble.

The Lady of the Manners would love to see more positive Goth characters in media. The few that have appeared in movies, TV, and books are a great start, but not enough. The characters of Joey and the flock of Goth kids that take her under their wings are delightful, but more importantly, they’re real. They’re people that you can relate to, whether you’re a Goth or just someone who feels misunderstood. And make no mistake, Snarklings: at some point in their lives, everyone feels misunderstood and like they don’t fit in. It’s a universal state of being that crosses all subcultures and stereotypes. My Summer As A Goth addresses those feelings, and that struggle to define yourself, with truth and humor.

The Lady of the Manners is delighted to be part of the project, and very much wants to see the movie happen and be a huge success. She believes with all her heart that it will do that, with your help. So thank you for reading this, and thank you for any help you can give.

My Summer As A Goth

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An Assortment Of Questions, Including Babybats And Working With Children

Posted on September, 2011 by Lady of the Manners

Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners has taken a break from being furniture for the new kittens of the Gothic Charm School household so she can answer some reader letters. This installment is going to be filled with letters from the younger readers of Gothic Charm School; as you may have guessed, many of the letters from younger readers ask to talk to their parents about being Goth. Now, the Lady of the Manners has talked about this before:

Of Dealing With Vague And Repressive Dress Codes

Of Parental Nicknames, Of Wrongly Being Called Emo, And Of Dress Codes

Of Goths and School Dress Codes – Gothic Charm School

Of Parents Disapproving Of Your Evolving Style, With A Short Tangent About Emilie Autumn

Parental Expectations, Family Photos, and More About When Black is This Year’s Black

Not to mention there’s an entire chapter of the Gothic Charm School book devoted to that very question! But the Lady of the Manners is also aware that sometime very soon, she will need to write THE Gothic Charm School post about that topic.

However! Onwards, to letters from the younger Snarklings, yes! Starting with a letter from October:


question: greeting lady. my names october and im 12. ive been goth since i was 10 so im no baby bat all though its my nick name. not that it bothers me since im all ways the youngest in the group. but thats not the point. lady, i am adressed with a common problem that i can not fix. my moms fine with me being goth as long as i dont go to crazy with it but my family is saying im not it fells like they’re rejecting me. lady i seek out your help because you have given me the best advice in the past and i trust your judgement. i also have some other problems but i want to see how they play out before i ask for help.

your truely,
october baby bat

So, your mother is fine with you being a Goth as long as you “don’t go crazy with it” (by which the Lady of the Manners assumes being particularly over-the-top in your wardrobe choices), but the rest of your family isn’t okay with it? The solution to this is right in front of you, October: talk to your mom. Yes, the Lady of the Manners is serious. Talk to your mother about how you feel that the rest of your family is rejecting you by disapproving of your gothy ways, and ask her if she has any suggestions for expressing that to them. Which brings the Lady of the Manners to another point: have you told your family members how their reaction to you makes you feel? Not in a foot-stamping, dramatic way, either, but just a statement of “Hey, when you treat me like that, it hurts and makes me feel rejected”? Because there is always the chance that your family doesn’t realize that you are taking their comments to heart. They also may not realize that Goth is something that truly interests you and makes you happy; once they know that (and that your mother is fine with your interests in the dark and spooky side of things), they may change how they treat you.

Forgive the Lady of the Manners, dear October, but something in your letter also caught her eye, and it ties into some comments the Lady of the Manners has seen on assorted social networking sites. You say that you’ve been Goth since you were 10, so you’re no baby bat. But you’re 12. The Lady of the Manners hates to be the one to slightly deflate your black glittery balloon, but in her eyes (and in the eyes of many other Goths), you are a baby bat. You see, “baby bat” doesn’t refer to how long someone has been interested in all things Goth, but the actual age of a person. To the Lady of the Manners (and again, many other Goths), “baby bat” is about someone’s age, and this is one instance where general society and the Goth world agree: if you’re under 18, you’re a youngster. (To be perfectly honest, the Lady of the Manners would say if you’re under 21, you’re a youngster and a baby bat.)

Being called a baby bat is not an insult. The Lady of the Manners uses it as a term of affection, and generally in the same sort tone as “Awww, kittens! Puppies! Little baby creatures who are indescribably cute!”. However, the Lady of the Manners also realizes that not every younger Goth wants to be reminded that to many they’re a kid, so tries to keep her squeeful exclamations of “Awww, babybat!” to herself. But please forgive her (and other older gothy types) if they don’t always manage to stifle such comments.

—

A Snarkling named Cheyenne asked about appropriate clothing for wearing around small children:

Dear Lady of Manners:
I am 16 years old and have been Gothically inclined since I was about 10. I will soon be in 11th grade, and I am starting a program where I will go to a school that offers career training courses w/ college credit half day, every school day. I am a HUGE fan of yours and I own the book 🙂 I am going to be in the Early Childhood Ed program to learn how to work in the Childcare fear because I love children. However, my mother and my Social Studies/consultant teacher Mrs Kremer have told me I must “tone down” my wardrobe so I don’t scare the children. I must “tone down” my makeup (Although I do tone it down for school by wearing bright red lipstick instead of black, cease from wearing small hats (i love small hats) and perhaps not wear my beloved ultra-poofy petticoat under a long skirt. I do not understand how this could scare small children, and I was wondering if you had some possible ideas of how I can tone it down so children are not frightened of me. My style is mostly Goth/punk/Victorian, but I occasionally wear bright-colored boho/hippie/gypsy-type clothing, which I think would maybe be more appropriate
Please, I need your help!!!
Huge fan,
Cheyenne :3

Personally, the Lady of the Manners thinks your wardrobe style sounds delightful — tiny hats and petticoats for all! Honestly, many small children are fascinated by people dressed like that, associating us with characters from books and cartoons. However, the Lady of the Manners can also understand why your mother and your consultant teacher have suggested that you need to tone things down. There’s a good chance you won’t only be dealing with the small children, but with their parents, as well. Should those parents be open-minded and accepting of a gothy-inclined childcare assistant? Of course they should. But sadly, some of them may not be, and it’s a sad truth that the people who are the least accepting of others’ differences are also the people who will complain and make as much of a stink about things as possible.

A more practical reason to tone down your wardrobe, though, is because working in childcare involves a lot of physical activity, and a high chance of chaos and mess. Ultra-poofy petticoats might catch on something, or get dragged through paint or dirt. (Or, depending on the size of the children you’ll be working with, an ultra-poofy petticoat may knock one of the kidlings over. Don’t laugh, the Lady of the Manners’ petticoats have accidentally buffeted and tipped over a couple of the tiny children she knows.) Tiny hats may not stay securely on your head, or may lose some of their decorations during games.

So. Yes, the Lady of the Manners does agree with your mother and your consultant teacher, to a degree. Mix in some of your brightly colored boho/hippie/gypsy -type pieces with your Goth Victorian finery, so perhaps you don’t look like someone off to a particularly formal Victorian funeral. Pull your hair back and secure it with some hair ties decorated with ribbons. Hairpins and small hats are things that could be plucked from your head by exuberant children. Forego your beloved petticoat, and instead wear skirts that will withstand games of tag and finger-painting. Think carefully about necklaces, dangling earrings, and decorative buttons, all of which can be yanked off, may have sharp edges or points, or may be a choking hazzard. In other words, think of it like a job, one where you need to make certain wardrobe concessions in order to succeed at it. The Lady of the Manners wishes you the best of luck with this Childcare career training program, and hopes that you have lots and lots of fun.

—

Charlie asks a question that, to be honest, the Lady of the Manners is a little surprised is still being bandied about:


If you shop at Hot Topic does that make you fake? I had heard that Hot Topic is for poseurs, so just wondering…
Charlie
V””””V

(Oh good heavens, little vampire fang ASCII art! Awwww!)

The last time the Lady of the Manners had peeked into a Hot Topic store, she didn’t see anything that struck her as particularly Goth, so she trundled over to their website, and discovered an entire section labeled “Old School Hot Topic”, full of gothy things. (Including, oh dear oh dear, multiple styles of those enormous-legged trousers covered in dangling chains, straps, and buckles, which make the Lady of the Manners shake her head and sigh “Really?”)

To answer your question, Charlie, no, shopping at Hot Topic is not for poseurs. Yes, Hot Topic (and other chain stores that dabble in dark-themed fashions and accessories) are often considered “starter Goth” places, in that someone can wander in, slap down a credit card, and wander out with a complete Goth “makeover” without any effort or thought. But many Goths know that Hot Topic and similar stores are useful for picking up basics Goth staples such as stripey tights, fishnets, and brightly-colored hair dyes. Also, for many Goths, Hot Topic is the only store near them that has anything that even slightly caters to the interests of the dark-at heart. Finally, Hot Topic, by virtue of it being a national mall chain, makes Goth a bit more ”¦ accessible. While Goth still is all about the strange and unusual, having places like Hot Topic make Goth seem less creepy and unsettling to non-Goths, which (the Lady of the Manners hopes!) will lead to less harassment and bullying of those who are interested in finding beauty and whimsy in dark and unexpected places. So no, shopping at Hot Topic doesn’t make you fake. Even if you may have to search very hard to find gothy items in amongst the My Little Pony shirts, sunglasses with “ironic” mustaches attached to them, or furry bear hats.

—

To finish things up, Arachne had a question about horror movies:


Dear Lady Of The Manners,
When ever I watch horror movies, I laugh ,even during the bloody parts.is that natural?
Sincerely,
Arachne
P.S I couldn’t think of anything to write instead of sincerly

Well if it isn’t natural, Arachne, then there is something wrong with the Lady of the Manners and many of her friends, because they’ve all been known to giggle their way through horror movies. Of course, the laughter can be for many different reasons. Sometimes, because the story, acting, or special effects are completely ludicrous, and deserving of mocking and ridicule. (This doesn’t make them any less entertaining, it just means they’re not perhaps doing what the movie makers had intended.) But sometimes horror movies move us to laughter because we feel uneasy and unsettled, and laughing is a normal nervous reaction.

Of course, then there’s always the fact that some gruesome horror movies make more sense if you view them as black comedies. (For instance, the Lady of the Manners firmly believes that is the only way to approach the movie or novel of American Psycho. A black comedy grimly lampooning society, with a blood-drenched punchline.) Not everyone shares these sorts of viewpoints, but they’re completely reasonable.

And sometimes some of us laugh at horror movies because there’s a part of us that roots for the monsters and the monstrous. We recognize that they’re frequently evil and wrong, but they’re also archetypical figures of power, so we laugh because, on some level, we sympathize with the “bad guys” and want them to triumph. (This would be one of the many reasons the Lady of the Manners is fascinated with vampire fiction.)

If you’re really worried about your laughing at the bloody parts of horror movies, then the Lady of the Manners wants to encourage you to find someone to talk to about your concerns, whether that be friends, a parent, or a sympathetic teacher.

—

Things that the Lady of the Manners keeps saying will happen in the future (and really will!): another trip to The Nocturnal House to talk about vampire books, a review of Spin Doctor clothing, and the long-promised write up of Wave Gothic Treffen by Marc 17. In the meantime, please read some of the previous posts here at Gothic Charm School, check out the Kickstarter page for the movie project the Lady of the Manners is involved with (more on that soon!), wander through the Gothic Charm School Tumblr, or perhaps send a letter of your own.

Posted in Growing Pains, Serious Matters | Leave a comment