Nocturnal House: ‘Salem’s Lot

Welcome back to The Nocturnal House, Snarklings! Before I start talking about the book I’ve chosen for this post, let me go check the windows, find one of my antique rosaries, and perhaps turn on a few more lamps. Why? Because this visit to The Nocturnal House is about a vampire book that honestly does scare me. Even though I’ve been re-reading it for years, it scares me enough that I won’t read it after dark. (Well, I shouldn’t read it after dark, but sometimes my desire to be absorbed by the story overrides my common sense, and then The Husband has to gently remind me to stop freaking myself out and go read something else.

‘Salem’s Lot, by Stephen King.

Yes, really.

First off, let me confess: I am a fan of Stephen King’s early work. Say whatever you want about his stories being very rooted in the “here and now”, about the pop-culture references that date instantly, about the often very folksy tone of them. He is one of the few writers to consistently scare me time and time again, and to compel me to read something even though I know it is going to end in blood and tears for almost everyone. And ‘Salem’s Lot is one of my favorite works by him.

Right off the bat, the prologue tells you that things haven’t gone well:

A week later he awoke sweating from a nightmare and called out the boy’s name.

“I’m going back,” he said.

The boy paled beneath his tan.

“Can you come with me?” the man asked.

“Do you love me?”

“Yes. God, yes.”

The boy began to weep, and the tall man held him.

Still, there was no sleep for him. Faces lurked in the shadows, swirling up at him like faces obscured in snow, and when the wind blew an overhanging tree limb against the roof, he jumped.

Jerusalem’s Lot.

He closed his eyes and put his arm across them, and it all began to come back. He could almost see the glass paperweight, the kind that will make a tiny blizzard when you shake it.

‘Salem’s Lot ”¦

‘Salem’s Lot is a small, not terribly prosperous town in Maine. Writer Ben Mears grew up there, and has returned to the Lot to work on a horror novel, partially based on the long-ago gruesome murder/suicide of Hubert Marsten, the town’s wealthy eccentric, and his wife. But someone else has come to ‘Salem’s Lot, someone who thinks it’s the perfect place to set up their own fiefdom.

There was no sound but that brought on the breeze. The figure stood silent and thoughtful for a time. Then it stooped and stood with the figure of a child in his arms.

“I bring you this.”

It became unspeakable.

‘Salem’s Lot is a study in just how easily a ruthless vampire could take over an entire town. It’s also an American riff on Dracula; Stephen King admits it in an introduction to one of the paperback editions of the book:

I wondered out loud to my wife what might have happened if Drac had appeared not in turn-of-the-century London but in America of the 1970s. “Probably he’d land in New York and be killed by a taxicab, like Margaret Mitchell in Atlanta,” I added, laughing.

My wife did not join my laughter. “What if he came here to Maine?” she asked. “What if he came to the country? After all, isn’t that where his castle was? In the Transylvanian countryside?”

That was really all it took. I saw how such a man — such a thing — could operate with lethal ease in a small town; the locals would be very similar to the peasants he had known and ruled back home, and with the help of a couple of greedy Kiwanis types like real estate agent Larry Crockett, he would soon become what he had always been: the boyar, the master.

My novel could also look through the other end of the telescope, at a world where electric lights and modern inventions would actually aid the incubus, by rendering belief in him all but impossible.

That idea of it being almost impossible to believe in the horror that is happening around them, even as their hindbrains are screaming at them, is a core theme of ‘Salem’s Lot, and it rings very true. Because let’s face it, if the people we knew and lived next to started not showing up, we would assume ”¦ what? A flu? Probably. And if we ran into an acquaintance at the local bar, and they were dull-eyed and listless, again, we would assume they were sick, or on drugs. Especially if they told us a story of dreams of red eyes, of sweetly singing voices, and a feeling like drowning, and that their bedroom window was open, even though they were sure they had closed it before going to bed. That they couldn’t really remember their dreams, but were scared. And that they couldn’t remember finishing the last job they had, of filling in the grave of a small child that died, but they must have, because the grave had been filled in, the sod properly tamped down. Would we worry about them? We might even do what English teacher Matt Burke did, and ask our sickly friend to stay in our guest room, so someone could keep an eye on them, so they could get a good night’s sleep untroubled by bad dreams, even if we were made uneasy by the two small ”¦ scratch marks? Puncture wounds? On their neck. And then, oh then:

Softly yet clearly in the silent house the words came, spoken in Mike Ryerson’s voice, spoken in the dead accents of sleep:

“Yes. Come in.”

Matt’s breath stopped, then whistled out in a soundless scream. He felt faint with fear. His belly seemed to have turned to lead. His testicles had drawn up. What in God’s name had been invited into his house?

Stealthily, the sound of the latch on the guest room window being turned back. Then the grind of wood against wood as the window was forced up.

”¦

Night invaded his brain and made it a circus of terrifying images which danced in and out of the shadows. Clown-white faces, huge eyes, sharp teeth, forms that slipped from the shadows with long white hands that reached for ”¦ for ”¦

I can’t. I’m afraid.

He could not have risen even if the brass knob on his own door had begun to turn. He was paralyzed with fear and wished crazily that he had never gone out to Dell’s that night.

I am afraid.

And in the awful heavy silence of the house, as he sat impotently on his bed with his face in his hands, he heard the high, sweet, evil laugh of a child—

—and then the sucking sounds.

(True confessions time: at the time of writing this post, it is daylight and I am sitting in a brightly-lit room with two adorable and playful kittens. Yet I still find myself uneasy and vaguely creeped out. I wasn’t kidding when I said this book scares me.)

There is a band of (not-quite) Fearless Vampire Hunters: schoolteacher Matt Burke, writer Ben Mears, Susan Norton, aspiring artist and new sweetheart to Ben, Dr. James Cody, friend (and former student) of Mr. Burke, and Mark Pietrie, a new kid in town who has read a lot of books about monsters, and is wise beyond his years. The five of them gradually come to the same grudging realization: that something is happening to ‘Salem’s Lot, something that can’t be explained by illness, apathy, or the sometimes small-minded pettiness of life in a small town. (In fact, Mark and Susan meet when both of them separately decide to go calling on the Marsten house to meet the mysterious Mr. Straker and his unseen, but talked about, business partner, Mr. Barlow.) Eventually Father Callahan, the local Catholic priest, is drawn into their group, and things go from merely bad to monstrously worse.

The face of Marjorie Glick was a pallid, moonlike circle in the semidark, punched only by the black holes of her eyes. She saw them, and her mouth juddered open in an awful, cheated snarl. The fading glow of daylight flashed against her teeth.

The vampires in ‘Salem’s Lot aren’t sophisticated, elegant predators, oh no. They are monsters, only interested in feeding. Mr. Barlow, the mysterious man who bought the Marsten house, is more cultured, but he’s had centuries to refine his manners. No, the citizens of the ‘Lot are motivated by hunger and anger, and by doing their master’s bidding. They have no lofty goals of love, or of being understood. They just want to feed.

One of the things that scares me the most from ‘Salem’s Lot is how prosaic it all is. No parlors full of erudite, learned undead, no stately houses, no exotic locales. Just the playground of the elementary school, the classrooms of the high school, the local garbage dump, suburban houses, and their run-down counterparts in the trailer parks. It’s all so damn normal, which is what makes the story take on a lingering life of its own, long after I set the book down. It’s all too easy to picture the events of ‘Salem’s Lot happening anywhere, including in my own neighborhood.

I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that things do not go well for our (not-quite) Fearless Vampire Hunters, not at all. This is a Stephen King book, after all, and he has always admitted it’s his goal to terrify people. The ending of ‘Salem’s Lot does offer an ambiguous flame of hope that things will Be All Right, but even after all these years, I can’t quite bring myself to believe it. The image of Danny, scratching at his classmate Mark’s bedroom window and asking to be invited in, still flickers in the corner of my dreams.

What vampire books scare you?

Posted in Book Reviews, General, Nocturnal House | Tagged , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Of New School Worries

Hello Snarklings! August is, as many of you know, Back To School time. (The Lady of the Manners apologizes to her readers in the Eastern Hemisphere for her Western Hemisphere bias. It’s just one of those things.) This time of year fills the Lady of the Manners with a nostalgic urge to shop for school supplies; yes, she really does want a new big box of crayons. Oooh, and new blank journals, and fountain pens, and ink …

But Back To School time also means the mailbox at Gothic Charm School sees swarms of letters asking about school related topics. What to do about dress codes, of course, which the Lady of the Manners has talked about before:

Of Dealing With Vague And Repressive Dress Codes

Of Parental Nicknames, Of Wrongly Being Called Emo, And Of Dress Codes

Of Goths and School Dress Codes – Gothic Charm School

There are the questions from Snarklings worried about bullies, which is perfectly understandable! The Lady of the Manners has talked about that topic, too, and hopes that all of you will read (and re-read) that post:

Of Dealing With Bullies

But amongst all of those Back To School -related questions, one from a gothling named Carley caught the Lady of the Manners’ eye:

question: Dear Lady of The Manners,

I’m 14 year old girl and have been into the gothic subculture for a few years now. With the clothes I wore and the music i listened to i was all alone in my old school since that was a strongly active farming town. Really, down the road there is a buffalo farm. Having a hard time fitting in with the 365 student population at this school with grades 7-12 in it, i did find three friends, not very good friends that didn’t have ANYTHING in common but I thought they were nice, but i know now used me as a novelty rather then a buddy since they very harshly made fun of me behind my back. My mother and i thought we would leave this little farming town and head away for a little bit more culture.  

I’m writing you now to ask for help about how should I go into that new VERY larger school this upcoming September, because I am very nervous. My mom is quite a support system in my  choice to be in the gothic subculture but she wants me to dress normally..*shudder* and wait for people to get to know me before going back to my whimsical clothing. But without the clothes I haven’t really ever fit in because of the strange things i would say and things i just generally liked that most kids my age didn’t.  I really want to just be who I am and ware the things that make me feel confident and happy like my goth clothes. Like you tho Lady of The Manners I do dress more in the Victorian style that flew out of Tim Burton’s imagination, so I do draw a lot of attention (not to mention i have flaming red hair). Also I am asking for help because I am even more nervous about meeting new people and possibly-and hopefully- some new friends since i am kind-of quite who always has her head shoved behind Edgar Allen Poe poems, while listening to the music of people like Bauhaus and Emilie Autumn and many others.

But on the bright side I am not that worried about the bullies and teasing i will probably get at my new school since i have an older sister who used to tease me all the time till the point were I ran up stairs crying, that i have had a hard defensive invisible exterior that only very certain things said actually do hurt but most things just slide right off me and I don’t even acknowledge that the person who said something like they weren’t there at all.  

So please read this and give any advice that you can.  

With love and vampire kisses,
Carley

The Lady of the Manners imagines that starting at a new school is rough for just about anyone, but it must be even more nerve-wracking for the goth-inclined or anyone else who is even a little bit “different”. While the Lady of the Manners understands the logic behind your mother’s suggestion that you dress normally when you start at your new school, the Lady of the Manners doesn’t agree with it at all.

Because you’re absolutely right, Carley. By trying to present yourself as someone you’re not, you’re putting up a false front. It wouldn’t be a truthful representation of who you are and of what your interests are. What good would it be to make new friends, only to have them decide they didn’t like you because you started showing your true self? Or what if those new friends decided that you were “trying too hard” to be different, or being a poseur? Trying to turn yourself into someone you’re not isn’t a way to make it easier to make friends, it’s a recipe for possibly alienating the first people you meet and talk to. While it is a rather trite cliché, the saying “You only have one chance to make a first impression” is very true. Who wants the first impression someone gets of them to be a false one? So you may want to tell your mother that you appreciate her good intentions, but the chances of such a sartorial misdirection backfiring on you and making you more alienated than ever are rather large.

As to your being nervous about meeting new people and hopefully making some new friends: of course you’re nervous. Everyone in your situation is nervous, even if just the tiniest bit. And that’s the important thing to remember: everyone is nervous. Some people are more outgoing than others, some people are more self-confident, but those things don’t change the nervous butterflies that flutter about before every new social event. Another well-worn cliché is “Just be yourself”, and it’s usually followed up with something along the lines of “And people will like you.” The Lady of the Manners isn’t going to say that if you just be yourself people will like you, but she will say that it’s more important to be true to yourself than to worry about whether or not people will like you. The hard truth of the matter is that no one is universally liked; not during school years, and not afterward. The big trick is to realize that it doesn’t matter if people like you. The Lady of the Manners thinks that having friends is one of the important things in life, but they need to be true friends, people who you understand and who understand you, who share your interests (well, at least some of them), and who support you in being yourself. Changing who you are so that you can try to win over people who you may not click with, or even like? That’s a fool’s game, and one that no one should play.

Another very (very!) important thing to keep in mind about making new friends: it’s important that you’re a good friend to yourself, too. Perhaps more important. By that the Lady of the Manners doesn’t mean to only think of yourself or be selfish, but that you need to like yourself and be fine spending time in your own company. Not an easy thing to do all the time, the Lady of the Manners does understand that. But if you are okay with being on your own, you won’t fall into the trap of desperately wanting friends as a distraction from being alone.

Finally, Carley, you say you aren’t worried about bullying because most things slide right off you, and that you can ignore the person saying hurtful things. The Lady of the Manners is very glad to hear that, but is a little sad that you have learned this skill because your older sister bullies you. At some point, perhaps you should have a conversation with your sister about how she treats you, that you don’t appreciate it, and that it needs to stop. Will that help? The Lady of the Manners has no idea, but it might. (You might want to include your mother in that conversation, though.)

Things that the Lady of the Manners keeps saying will happen in the future (and really will!): another trip to The Nocturnal House to talk about vampire books, a review of Spin Doctor clothing, a write-up of Wave Gotik Treffen from Special Correspondant Marc17 , and more reader questions. Now if you’ll excuse the Lady of the Manners, she’s going to go have a piece of toast with peach-lavender jam, and do a little window-shopping of fountain pens and blank books ”¦

Posted in General, Growing Pains, Serious Matters | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Nocturnal House: Lost Souls

Guess what, Snarklings? It’s time for another visit to The Nocturnal House! Here, let me light a few candles and pour a glass of absinthe ”¦ though a glass of Chartreuse would be more thematically appropriate, considering the book I’m going to talk about this time.

Let me set the WayBack Machine to September of 1992. Fangoria magazine had just released a special all-vampire issue, featuring articles on the upcoming movie of Dracula, directed by Francis Ford Coppola, the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie, Innocent Blood, and other vampire-themed content. I bought it, of course; how could I not? And amongst all the movie news, there was an article about the “10 best vampire books”. There were some obvious choices, such as Dracula (Vintage Classics) and Interview with the Vampire. Then there were ones that I had never heard of, such as George R. R. Martin’s Fevre Dream, or Delicate Dependency: A Novel of Vampire Life by Michael Talbot. (I ended up tracking both of those down, and I’m sure I’ll end up featuring them in future wanderings through The Nocturnal House.)

The “10 best” list also included a book that hadn’t been released yet:


Lost Souls, by Poppy Z. Brite.

Brite takes the vampiric themes of estrangement and love of the dark and perfectly grafts them onto an underground punk subculture, casting a spell in wet lace and smudged eyeliner.

I knew I had to read it. My parents, ever-amused and tolerant of my endlessly-growing collection of horror novels, gave me a copy of the hardback for Christmas that year. I feverishly read it from cover to cover in a few hours that day, sitting in a corner at the family gathering. (Which is not as anti-social/tortured Goth -behavior as you may think: my family was used to me sitting in a corner and reading a book during the holidays. Christmas always means new books! That must be read!)

Three vampires who could be easily mistaken for ferociously-partying rock stars blaze into New Orleans at the close of Mardi Gras, and find a small, dim bar owned by another of their kind. While Twig and Molochi share blood with Christian, the bar owner, Zillah, the leader of the hedonistic three, seduces Jessie, the teen-aged runaway girl who hangs out at Christian’s bar. The next day, Zillah, Twig, and Molochi leave town, headed for wherever strikes their fancy.

However, Jessie is pregnant. And while humans and vampires are close enough to breed, the birth is always fatal to the mother. Christian, hoping to spare the baby a lifetime of blood-soaked nights, spirits him away to a nameless, prosperous-looking suburb. He leaves the baby on the doorstep of a house, with a note saying “His name is Nothing. Care for him and he will bring you luck” pinned to the blanket.

Little Nothing is taken in by the couple who found him. They call him Jason, and he grows up feeling alienated, alone, and that there has to be something more to life than hanging out with other disaffected teens and waiting for life in the suburbs to suffocate him. Searching through his parents’ things, he finds the note that arrived with him, latches onto it as proof that he doesn’t belong, and decides to run away. His vague destination is Missing Mile, the home of the band Lost Souls?, who’s music he idolizes. While on the road, he catches a ride in a van housing three punkish party animals, who induct him into a life of drugs, sex, and blood.

“He had drunk from the bottle of blood without choking, without spitting or gagging . To the contrary — the blood had seemed to revive him, freshen his skin, brighten his eyes.

Most hitchhikers were glad enough to party with them, to share a pipe or a tab of acid or a tumble on the mattress. Then — always after these pleasures, for it made their blood sweeter — the wine bottle was brought out. Or the whiskey bottle, or whatever they had put the latest batch in. This was Molochi and Twig’s favorite part: the hitchhiker, already drunk or high or fried on acid, would swig eagerly from the bottle. Then his eyes — or her eyes — would grow big and frightened, and his mouth — or her mouth — would twist in terror and disgust as the blood drooled back out of it, and Molochi, Twig, and Zillah would be upon him. Or her. One rescuing the wine bottle, one holding the hitchhiker’s panicked hands, and one at the throat. The sweet, rended, pulsing throat. Or the belly. Or the crotch. Anywhere would do, any spot that would bleed.”

There’s more to the book, of course. There’s the two friends who make up Lost Souls? — quiet, spooky, possibly psychic Ghost, and Steve, the surly rocker boy who is secretly being devoured by his broken heart. There’s Anne, Steve’s ex-girlfriend who has an unfortunate taste for danger and dangerous people. And there’s Christian — ancient, taciturn, tired of feeling alone, but of a different time and generation than the raucous trio of Twig, Molochi, and Zillah. All of these people end up colliding in the worst possible way.

It’s a little difficult to explain what a world-changer Lost Souls was when it was first published. Sure, there were other vampire books with blood-splattered violence and punkish characters (such as Skipp and Spector’s The Light At The End), but Lost Souls was one of the first books to portray the strange, grimy allure of blood-soaked nihilism combined with lurid sex, and it was certainly the first vampire book I know of that spoke to the black-clad Goth shadows; not just spoke to us, but was built on the chiming undertones from our music and armored with our leather jackets and torn lace:

“Right now it was sainted Bauhaus, the pale long-boned gods of this crowd, doing “Bela Lugosi’s Dead.” The eyeliner eyes glazed and the black lipstick lips moved in time with the words, and the children danced slowly, for their blood was thin, and they were under the spell of the DJ and the music and the night.”

For all the morbid creatures of the night who thrilled to being afraid of the possibility of monsters in the dark while simultaneously wanting to become monsters themselves, Lost Souls was heady, heady stuff. It was everyone’s worst (and needless to say, wrong) suspicions about Goth, wrapped up in a sticky-sweet, darkly decadent confection that tasted of clove cigarettes, mysterious herbal liqueurs that glowed green, and blood. In other words, if you were a spooky gothling in your late teens or early twenties, Lost Souls hit you like a baseball bat to the head.

“‘such a fine, straight, hard hard piece of wood. But so plain. It needs brightening up, don’t you think? ”¦ with some pretty red GORE? ”¦ and some silky blond HAIR? ”¦ and some MAGIC BRAAAINS?”‘

Zillah’s voice rose to a shriek on the last word, and he raised the bat high above his head.”

Lost Souls is not for everyone, not by a long shot. There are people who are disgusted by the violence, there are people who don’t want to read vampire sex scenes (of all types and orientations), and there are people who find everyone in the book too damaged and reprehensible to want to spend any time with. All of which are understandable reactions. But to me, Lost Souls is a classic. It’s the literary bad boy (very bad boy) cousin to the movie The Lost Boys; the sex, drugs, and violence are very explicitly shown, and there’s no plucky younger brother, oddball friends, or quirky grandfather to save the day. When I want to indulge in nostalgia for my confused and wildly over-emotional younger self who had a taste for the wrong sorts of guys and for situations she probably should have thought (more than) twice about, Lost Souls is the first thing I reach for.

Posted in Nocturnal House | Tagged , , , | 22 Comments

Goth Life Beyond Club-Land

Hello Snarklings! The Lady of the Manners is, once again, very amused by how the world works at times. She had been pondering a particular popular misconception about Goth life, and idly contemplating writing a post about it. And then, surprise surprise, a letter asking about that exact misconception arrived in the Gothic Charm School mailbox!

Dear Lady of the Manners,
I have a question for you, if you wouldn’t mind answering 🙂 All your talk of Goth Clubs, and partying worry me, because i’m the kind of girl who likes to curl up on her victorian couch with her black cats and read all my lovely vampire romances by candlelight. Some people mention to me “Well, you aren’t Goth if you don’t like Goth Clubs!” and i don’t know how to reply! I’ve never liked crowds of any kind, and even typing about it gives me panic attacks. Am i a Goth wannabe if i dont like clubs, parties, drinking, or even Goth music (save Emilie Autumn). What is a recluse like me to do, Lady??
All my love,
Sadie Mai

Oh goodness, you absolutely can be a Goth and be a recluse or a homebody who doesn’t like the club scene! The Lady of the Manners likes going out to clubs because she likes going dancing, and because such activities give her and her friends an excuse to dress up even more elaborately than usual. But! The Lady of the Manners also very much likes spending quiet evenings at home, sitting on her Victorian-styled couch with her cats, reading vampire books by candlelight. So you aren’t alone in that preference, Sadie Mai, not at all.

The Goth subculture is, to a degree, focused on a nightclub and party scene because that’s where its roots are. Goth blossomed out of the punk scene, and for a very long time, the only place to find other people who shared one’s shadowy inclinations was by going to obscure clubs that played the music that bound the subculture together. Clubs were (and still are) a haven, where someone could flaunt their blackened finery and morbid interests and know they were surrounded by people who understood. That’s not to say that Goth clubs were or are places of magical spooky harmony where everyone gets along and is part of the extended Addams or Munsters clan, but the chances of finding people who felt the same way as you were (are) pretty good. That no matter how boring, drab, or aggravating your “everyday” life was, you could count on the escape of going to Ye Olde Spooky Club to be in the company of others like yourself.

However, there have always been Goths who didn’t like the club scene, and that doesn’t make them any less Goth. In fact, in the Lady of the Manners’ opinion, there is a stronger argument to be made for the non-club-scene activities to be a bit more gothy, because the people who are sitting at home reading books by candlelight aren’t doing it for display; they’re living their life, doing the things they like, and those things just happen to be very, very Goth. It’s the old “Lifestyle vs. Weekender” Goth argument: who is More Goth, the person who has a closet full of spooky club clothes and goes out every weekend, or the person who stays home with their antique books, gargoyles, and candelabras? It’s a trick question, of course, and also veers dangerously close to the notion of Goth Points – that in order to be a Real Goth you must check certain tickyboxes off of the list maintained by the mysterious Goth Cabal. Here’s a little hint: you don’t. There is no Goth Cabal (honest), and Goth Points are nothing more than an amusing in-joke.

Another thing to be aware of is that insisting that the only way to be a Real Goth is to be part of the club scene is (if you’ll forgive the Lady of the Manners a sweeping generalized statement) partially a product of people in their 20s. As much as the Lady of the Manners hates to play the “grown up” cliché card, there’s some truth to it. As shocking as it may be to some people, there is more to life than spending evenings at a club, and after a while, having your entire social life hinge upon club-going gets, well, boring. Not to mention tiring and expensive. The Lady of the Manners has been hearing more and more about groups of gothy types who are organizing alternate social events; while they want to hang out with other black-clad folks, they want to do so in an environment that is friendlier to conversation than shouting over the remix of the current stompy dance-floor hit. Picnics, crafting nights, tea parties, movie nights — there’s no dearth of social activities! (In fact, if the Lady of the Manners had free time (ha!), she’d try to organize some social outings for her area. But alas, the Lady of the Manners does not have free time, not even a little bit.)

So yes, Sadie Mai, you are a Goth, even if you don’t like clubs, parties, drinking, or most Goth music. What is a recluse like you to do? Keep reading your vampire romances. Keep doing the things that make you happy, and do not worry about what other people think. If (well, when) people tell you that you aren’t a Goth if you don’t like Goth clubs, smile at them and tell them that’s their opinion.The truth of the matter is that thanks to the wonders of the Internet, the Goth subculture has been able to spread its little bat wings and fly far beyond the confines of tiny, dimly-lit clubs. The dark at heart can find others like themselves across the globe, and not have to worry about if there’s a Goth club anywhere near them, if they’re old enough to get into such an establishment, or if they’ll even like the other spooksters at the club. So snuggle up on your couch, and please give your black cats a scratch behind the ears from the Lady of the Manners.

Coming soon to Gothic Charm School: another trip to The Nocturnal House to talk about vampire books, a review of Spin Doctor clothing, a write-up of Wave Gotik Treffen from Special Correspondant Marc17 , and more reader questions. Speaking of which, if you have a question, the handy-dandy Correspondence link is something you may want to investigate …

Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social, Clubbing & Concerts | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Nocturnal House: Anno Dracula

Welcome back to The Nocturnal House, Snarklings! Thank you to everyone who read the first post, commented, or linked to it. Also, thanks to several comments posted on that first post, I have tracked down a copy of Fred Saberhagan’s The Dracula Tape and added it to my enormous, teetering to-be-read pile. (No, I’ve never read it before. Don’t give me that look! It always slipped through the cracks for me, I don’t know why.)

This visit to The Nocturnal House is still related to Dracula (Vintage Classics), though, oh yes. Let me introduce you to one of my favorite vampire books, and probably my absolute favorite in terms of Dracula “spin-offs”:

Anno Dracula, by Kim Newman.

Imagine, if you will, that when the Fearless Vampire Hunters confront Dracula in Mina’s bedroom at Purfleet asylum, they don’t drive Dracula away. Instead, Dracula defeats the Fearless Vampire Hunters, goes on to court the widowed Queen Victoria, marries her and becomes Prince Regent, and ushers in a new era of vampires living publicly and a fashion for vampirism across Europe. And that is just the back story!

The main plot of Anno Dracula centers around the Jack the Ripper murders, with the twist that all the murdered women are vampire prostitutes, offering sex or the chance to be turned into a vampire.

“‘Come on and kiss me, sir.’

I stood for a moment, simply looking. She was indeed a pretty thing, distinctive. Her shiny hair was cut short and lacquered in an almost Chinese style, sharp bangs like the cheek guards of a Roman helmet. In the fog, her red lips appeared quite black. Like all of them, she smiled too easily, disclosing sharp pearl-chip teeth. A cloud of cheap scent hung around, sickly to cover the reek.

The streets are filthy, open sewers of vice. The dead are everywhere.”

Some of the people you’ll meet: Charles Beauregard, investigating the Ripper murders on orders from the Diogenes Club, a shadowy cabal that oversees the interests of the Empire;Genevieve Dieudonné, a 500+ year old vampire girl who was once a follower of Jeanne de’ Arc but is now working at the Whitechapel clinic run by; Doctor Jack Seward, who gave up running his Purfleet Asylum in the wake of being defeated by Dracula, and can’t forget his part in the destruction of Lucy; Lord Arthur Godalming, who decided the best way to deal with the rebirth and destruction of his fiancee and the fanged new world order was to become a part of it; Prime Minister Lord Ruthven, another elder vampire, who turned Lord Godalming; Miss Penelope Churchward, Charles Beauregard’s fiancee, who has plans involving fashionable immortality; and Miss Kate Reed, aspiring journalist suffragette, and long-suffering friend to Penelope. Not to mention a cast of other people drawn from Victorian-era fiction and history and cameos and walk-ons by vampires from almost every book and movie you can name.

Those vampiric walk-ons and cameos are part of the reason I love Anno Dracula so. It’s a game of hide-and-seek for fans of vampire fiction, and every time I re-read it, I recognize a new person or figure out a new reference. Montague Summers shows up, for heaven’s sake, in an off-handed reference to the medical science of vampires! (You know, Montague Summers? The infamously eccentric English scholar who wrote The Vampire: His Kith and Kin, one of the seminal non-fiction books about vampires? Here, this is from the biography about him:

“During the year 1927, the striking and somber figure of the Reverend Montague Sommers in black soutane and cloak, with buckled shoes — a la Louis Quatorze — and shovel hat could often have been seen entering or leaving the reading room of the British Museum, carrying a large black portfolio bearing on its side a white label, showing in blood-red capitals, the legend ‘VAMPIRES’.”

Look, just humor me, and go look him up.)

Does this mean you need to be a Serious Vampire Fiction Scholar to enjoy Anno Dracula? No, not at all. The in-jokes and nods to other works are a bonus for us vampire aficionados, but are just that: a bonus. You don’t need to catch all of those references to find the book a fun read. In addition to the twisting plot to find and stop Jack the Ripper, there’s the mounting unrest and tension between the warm, still-living masses and the vampires who have been placed at the top of the social and political order (fueled by the swaggering, bully-boy tactics of Prince Regent Dracula’s Carpathian Guards), and a fascinating look at what Victorian society would be like if it suddenly had vampires in control.

“In the gloom of the afternoon, new-born gentlefolk paraded themselves on Hampstead Heath, skins pale, eyes shining red. It is quite the thing to follow fashions set by the Queen, and vampirism — although resisted for several years — has now become acceptable. Prim, pretty girls in bonnets, ivory-dagger teeth artfully concealed by Japanese fans, flock to the Heath on sunless afternoons, thick black parasols held high.”

“A new-born couple cooed over an especially fine coffin, large enough for a family and ostentatious enough to cow a provincial alderman’s wife into a fit of silent envy. The other premises displayed an array of jewel clusters and rings in the shapes or insignia of bats, skulls, eyes, scarabs, daggers, wolfsheads, or spiders; trinkets favoured by that type of new-born who styled themselves Gothick.”

“They favoured shroud-like dresses, thick cobweb veils, scarlet lips and nails, waist-length coils of glossy black hair. Their beaux followed the fashions set by Lord Ruthven; high-waisted, immodestly tight trews; floppy Georgian cuffs; ruffle-fronted shirts in scarlet or black; ribboned pompadours with artificial white lightning-streaks.”

(Yes, I giggle knowingly every time I read this particular section. Being able to recognize your adopted clichés and embrace them to you even more tightly is important, dammit.)

Anno Dracula is the first of three books in Kim Newman’s look at the vampire world; its successors are The Bloody Red Baron and Judgment of Tears: Anno Dracula 1959. Johnny Alucard, what is (I hope!) the next book in the series, is due out in 2012, and I am eagerly awaiting it.

Sequels or spin-offs to Dracula are almost their own sub-genre of vampire books. On the shelves of my vampire book case alone, in addition to Anno Dracula and The Dracula Tapes, there’s Freda Warrington’s Dracula the Undead which was written long before and is far superior to the wretched and disappointing “official” sequel of Dracula the Un-Dead by Dancre Stoker and Ian Holt, (I’m serious, I don’t know if I can properly articulate my loathing for that book without hand gestures and facial expressions. My apologies to those of you who liked it.), Renfield: Slave of Dracula by Barbara Hambley, Mina: The Dracula Story Continues by Marie Kiraly, and Sherlock Holmes vs. Dracula: Or, The Adventure of the Sanguinary Count by Loren D. Estleman. As I said in our first visit to The Nocturnal House, my favorite dark count casts a very long and bat-winged shadow over the vampire genre.

Do you have a favorite Dracula sequel or re-imaging? Talk about them in the (moderated, just like last time) comments!

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Of Dealing With Vague and Repressive Dress Codes

Hello Snarklings! This time around at Gothic Charm School, the Lady of the Manners is going to address a subject she’s talked about before, but one that is a never-ending concern: school dress codes.

The Lady of the Manners often thanks her lucky (dark) stars that the trend for all-encompassing, yet vague, school dress codes hadn’t taken root during her scholastic career. (The Lady of the Manners also thanks her lucky dark stars that things like Facebook, Twitter, and LiveJournal were not around during her semi-over-emotional teens and early twenties, but that’s a different post entirely.) The Lady of the Manners understands, to a degree, what school boards are trying to achieve with the dress codes; if students all have a similar appearance, then in theory there might be fewer disruptions and bullying because of a student’s clothing. (The Lady of the Manners has been told there are studies showing that school uniforms, not vague dress codes, have indeed helped cut down on bullying.) However, the Lady of the Manners also knows that it doesn’t matter if there is a dress code, the students will still find things to harass and haze each other about, and feels that the time spent drafting school dress codes would be better spent on finding strategies to deal with bullying. Maybe someday these things will happen. Say, when we live in a perfect world, or when the Lady of the Manners finally achieves her girlhood dream of becoming the gothy vampire queen of the universe.

What prompted the Lady of the Manners to write about school dress codes again? A poignant and articulate plea for help with them, from Jadzia Dark at Heart:


question: Dearest Lady of Manners,
I happened upon your site a little less than a week ago, and I absolutley adore
it. My high school has a slightly larger Goth scene than most. I recently
received a copy of my high school’s newest dress code revision. While I am
aware that you have covered this topic before, I have encountered a problem
that is more in-depth than any of the others mentioned in the archives. My
school’s administrators have banned “un-natural hair color, piercings (other
than upon the ears), and anything freak-ish, odd, or out of the ordinary.” Now,
the administration has always been very vague, but this, in my opinion, is not
just vague. I feel that it is discriminatory as well. They mention nothing of
the revealing clothing choices made by my mainstream classmates. Most of us
Snarklings wear black or incredibly dark jeans and button down black shirts, and
once a week we’ll wear more elaborate clothing selections. I am horrified at
the thought that we all might be forced into wearing Hollister, Abercrombie, or
Aeropostale shirts along with light blue jeans and camoflauge hunting boots.
The key point to my writing is not to rant about the disgracefulness of my
preppy peers attire, but the main point is that the school administrators have
now declared anyone violating this terribly vague code will be expelled with no
inquiries made. Do you have any suggestions as to how us young Snarklings can
combat these outrageous rules?

Why yes, Jadzia, the Lady of the Manners does have some suggestions for you young Snarklings. But they involve patience, organization, and very good communication skills. However, if you feel that you and your friends are up to it, here’s what you should do:

– Get a copy of the current school dress code, and take notes about every rule that is vague. For example, “unnatural hair color”; does that mean that sporting a hair color other than the one you were born with is against the dress code? Because the Lady of the Manners is certain that there are classmates of yours with blond highlights or other such “unnatural” tints. Yes, the Lady of the Manners is sure that what the school officials meant by that rule is “hair colors not resembling those found in nature”, but the wording doesn’t actually say that, does it? Or the ban on anything “freakish, odd, or out of the ordinary”; if you go by, say, the Lady of the Manners’ definitions of such things, that would mean that exaggerated press-on French manicures and spray tans would be banned. (Throughout the land, by the way, not just at your school. Oh, and those Ugg sweater boot things – they’re not acceptable except as around-the-house slippers, and only if it is absolutely freezing.)

– Once you have those notes, write up specific questions about each rule you have marked. You want to point out the inconsistencies and fuzzy language. For example, are vintage or antique-inspired fashions considered “out of the ordinary”? If so, are the faculty going to go around expelling every student who wears something other than jeans and a t-shirt? (Which, to be crankily precise, came into fashion around oh, the early 50s, and so counts as a vintage-inspired look.) Make sure that the questions are clear, have one point per question, and are as free from emotionally-loaded language as possible. Because your next step is …

– Get your parents together, and present these questions to them. Again, in a perfect world, your parents and the parents of your friends would be completely supportive of your cause (and of you being Goths), but the Lady of the Manners is willing to bet a parasol or two that this isn’t the case. But in some ways, having some adults who aren’t completely sympathetic to your cause is a good thing, because what you’re doing here is practicing your arguments. “Arguments” not meaning heatedly emotional, dramatic objections, but instead well-reasoned objections to a vague and possibly discriminatory set of rules. Listen to what the parents have to say, and figure out how to respond to the objections they bring up. By voicing their concerns, they’re doing you a favor, because you’re going to need to practice explaining your objections without losing your temper. Also, you will probably need the help of an adult to set up the next step, which is …

– Set up an appointment with whomever has control over the dress code, whether it be the school principal, a faculty advisory board, or people from the school district. And while the Lady of the Manners would like to think that a group of students would be taken seriously enough that they could make an appointment to discuss such things, she suspects that your cause will be taken a mite more seriously if it appears to be spearheaded by a “responsible” adult. Also, if your school has a strong paper, work with the school journalism department to get an editorial written about your concerns with the dress code.

– When the day comes for the meeting about the dress code, you and your friends should dress carefully in your most respectable, but very definitely gothy, outfits. Then, present your concerns to the people in charge.

Now, let the Lady of the Manners be very clear: no matter how clear, organized, and articulate you are when you present your case to the ruling school body, there is a strong chance that the finally outcome will be … nothing changes. Nothing at all. That your concerns will be (perhaps) listened to, and then ultimately dismissed.

If that happens, what then? Then, Snarklings, you take it to the internet. Start a website, create a blog, and let people know. If you’re up for it, contact your local news channels, and tell them about what you’re doing, and why you believe the dress code is vague and unfair. Keep in mind that none of this may make a bit of difference. But there is a chance, a small chance, that having the spotlight of public scrutiny highlighting the ridiculousness of the school dress code will cause some changes for the better. Just keep in mind that the more you publicize what you are doing, the more you will need to maintain a “public face”: as calm as possible, with none of the histronics and drama-mongering that tend to be a hallmark of teenage concerns. You want to be able to make your points with as little chance of the whole thing being dismissed as overblown teen angst.

Also, what if you discover that the vague rules about “unnatural hair color” and nothing “freakish, odd, or out of the ordinary” are supposed to apply to pink streaks, feather extensions, or black nail polish worn by wannabe pop-princesses, or to piercings sported by non-gothy types? If that happens, then make the effort to inform the other students, and band together. The school board may change their opinion if more than just the “weird kids” are the ones pointing out the inconsistencies and injustices going on.

So there you go, Snarklings: A detailed plan to begin discussing and, hopefully, counteracting your school’s vague, yet repressive, dress code. Is it surefire and foolproof? Good heavens, of course not; very little in this world is. But the Lady of the Manners does believe that it might work, and is worth trying.

Be sure to check back at Gothic Charm School, where upcoming posts include a review of the fabulous clothes from Spin Doctor clothing, a tutorial on how to turn a plain pair of shoes into a vision of spiky gorgeousness, and a visit to the Nocturnal House to talk about more vampire books. In the meantime, browse through the Archives, and if you have a question, please write!

Posted in Being Fashionable, Growing Pains | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

The Nocturnal House: Dracula

Welcome to The Nocturnal House, Snarklings! It seemed like the best thing to call the new section of Gothic Charm School wherein the Lady of the Manners talks informally about books, because over the years, the Lady of the Manners has stayed up far, far too late into the night, reading vampire books.

Yes, vampire books.You see, I read a lot of vampire books. Well, lots of books in general, but a vast amount of my personal library are about the fanged children of the night.

The Vampire Book Case

It seems that whenever I’m  online (and sometimes in real life, away from the computer), random people ask me for my recommendations for vampire books. Hence The Nocturnal House! Here’s the basic information:

– The Nocturnal House isn’t quite going to be the Gothic Charm School book club, but there will be MODERATED comments, in the hopes of getting some interesting discussion going.

– The Nocturnal House is going to be a bit more informal  in stylistic tone than the usual sections of Gothic Charm School. In other words, the Lady of the Manners will be setting aside the third-person affectation while lounging about in The Nocturnal House.

– Clicky-link disclosure! The links to books here in The Nocturnal House go to Powells.com, and are partner links. Which means that if you click one of those links and buy the book, I will, in theory, eventually earn a small amount of money. Who knows if it will amount to anything, but hey! All proceeds will almost assuredly be spent on my addiction to Fluevogs and fancy hats.

So! When people ask which vampire books I think are worthwhile, what is the very first book title that I blurt out? Oh, you sillies, can’t you guess?

Dracula.

Yes. Start with the bat-winged great-grand-daddy of them all, Snarklings. Trust me on this one. There are other vampire stories that came before (hello, “Carmilla” by Le Fanu, anyone? Yes, go read that and Polidori’s “The Vampyre”), but Dracula has cast a long shadow since its publication in 1897 for some very good reasons.

Count Dracula is the King Vampire of literature. He’s evil, he wants to leave his collection of vampire brides in Transylvania to find new thralls in England, and he’s mind-controlling a poor lunatic in an asylum. No moping about his lost humanity, no angsting about being a damned thing, no falling in love with women centuries younger than himself, just flat-out evil. I appreciate that in a vampire. (That’s right, there is no vampire/human love story in Dracula, no matter what the various Dracula movies put forth. The only interests Count Dracula has in Lucy Westenra or Mina Harker are motivated by hunger and control. No tender feelings of romantic longing at all.) That’s not to say I don’t appreciate those other, more classically Romantic-with-a-capital-R, soul-searching traits in vampire books, but those sorts of character motivations need to be handled delicately, else they become tedious very quickly.

Also, Dracula is not the main character. He’s the looming shadow of evil, an outside force bent on corrupting and destroying everything in his path. There is no reasoning with him, there is no placating him. Instead, the group of threatened sweethearts and friends must band together to try to discover what is going on so they can save themselves and society. It’s an adventure story driven by a monstrously evil creature that is just human enough to feel not just menacing, but malicious. In addition to that, there’s the churning sexual subtext to Dracula, all about being overcome and swooning ecstasy. From Chapter Three, during Jonathan Harker’s run-in with Dracula’s Brides:

“Then the skin of my throat began to tingle as one’s flesh does when the hand that is to tickle it approaches nearer, nearer. I could feel the soft, shivering touch of the lips on the super sensitive skin of my throat, and the hard dents of two sharp teeth, just touching and pausing there. I closed my eyes in languorous ecstasy and waited, waited with beating heart.”

Or from Chapter Sixteen, an example of the seductiveness of predatory evil:

“When she advanced to him with outstretched arms and a wanton smile he fell back and hid his face in his hands.

She still advanced, however, and with a languorous, voluptuous grace, said, “Come to me, Arthur. Leave these others and come to me. My arms are hungry for you. Come, and we can rest together. Come, my husband, come!”

There was something diabolically sweet in her tones, something of the tinkling of glass when struck, which rang through the brains even of us who heard the words addressed to another.

As for Arthur, he seemed under a spell, moving his hands from his face, he opened wide his arms.”

However, for all that I’m an enthusiastic Dracula fan (and at last count, I have 15 different editions of the book), I have to admit that it is a very flawed book. The epistolary style is sometimes hard to follow, the writing is sloppy in parts (for heaven’s sake, don’t read Dracula with any expectations of tightly-knit continuity, you’ll only give yourself a headache), there are sections that drag on and on and on, and, to quote Cleolinda:

“Van Helsing talks like a lolcat. He does. An extremely educated doctor-of-all-sciences lolcat who suddenly can has law degree about two-thirds of the way into the story.”

This is the most accurate (and entertaining!) description of Van Helsing I’ve ever read, and the last time I re-read Dracula, I kept cracking up because I was translating Van Helsing’s broad swathes of dialog into exaggerated lolcat syntax.

But it is a classic. Jonathan Harker falling prey to Dracula’s brides, Mina’s strange, dreamlike journey to find the sleepwalking Lucy in a graveyard, the trials and tribulations of the bug-eating Mr. Renfield, the confrontation with the transformed Lucy, Dracula’s corruption of Mina — all of these scenes exert a lingering, nightmarish power, and no adaptation in any other media has ever come close to portraying the chilling imagery of the book.

If you really want to learn about the book, I highly recommend getting an annotated version, to have footnotes about the plot and historical context of the story. I have a fondness for the New Annotated Dracula, edited by Leslie S. Klinger.

Not only is it full of footnotes, but he frames the whole thing as if the novel were a real historical document of events that happened to real people. As in, Bram Stoker knew the Harkers socially, and convinced them to allow him to collect and publish their correspondence to warn the public about the menace of Count Dracula. I found this endlessly entertaining, but your suspension of disbelief may differ. If that doesn’t sound like the sort of annotations you’re looking for, then you may want to stick with the Norton Critical Edition.

So there you go, Snarklings. Go get a copy of Dracula and read it. In a few weeks, I’ll tell you alllllll about another vampire book I really like. (This whole Nocturnal House thing isn’t just an excuse for me to re-read my favorite books about fanged monsters, I swear.)

Posted in Book Reviews, General, Nocturnal House | Tagged , , , | 63 Comments

Of Book Recommendations, Depression, And What Is In Your Purse.

Hello Snarklings! This installment of Gothic Charm School is another mixed selection of things, with book recommendations, helpful information from other readers, a question about depression, and some musings on what essentials should be in one’s handbag or backpack?

Firstly, the book recommendations! Remember the plight of Amanda, who wanted suggestions for gothic reading that didn’t have supernatural themes? Gothic Charm School readers sent in enough suggestions to fill a room full of bookcases; many of the suggestions caused the Lady of the Manners to slap her forehead and exclaim, “Of COURSE! Why didn’t I remember that one?” So! In no particular order, a non-supernatural Gothic Reading List:

There are the classics, of course. Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë, The Phantom of the Opera by Gaston Leroux, Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen, The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Gormenghast Novels by Mervyn Peake, The Monk by Matthew Lewis, Melmoth the Wanderer by Charles Robert Maturin, The Turn of the Screw by Henry James ”¦ in other words, Amanda (and other readers looking for interesting, dark fiction) should investigate 19th century Gothic literature.

But what about modern day works? One suggestion that came up time and time again was A Series of Unfortunate Events, by Lemony Snicket. (A series that the Lady of the Manners herself has not finished reading, but is always amused by the books every time she indulges in one.) Another reader reminded the Lady of the Manners of the works of Angela Carter, such as The Magic Toyshop or Nights At The Circus. We Have Always Lived At The Castle by Shirley Jackson is a masterpiece of creepy writing, but without the ghosts that are in her The Haunting of Hill House (a book that leaves the Lady of the Manners twitching with dread every time she reads it).

Another reader suggested the Flowers in the Attic series by V. C. Andrews; while the Lady of the Manners must agree that those books are full of horrific things and just plain wrongness without a hint of supernatural influences, she’s not entirely sure she feels comfortable suggesting them.

The final suggestion the Lady of the Manners is going to offer came from a very clever reader, who pointed out that Anne Rice is no longer writing novels of the supernatural, but is now writing books about the life of Jesus Christ. While the Lady of the Manners hasn’t read any of them, she feels it is safe to assume that Anne Rice has not turned away from her classic bombastic and lurid writing style. (Of which, to be perfectly clear, the Lady of the Manners is a big fan.)

So there you are, Amanda (and other Snarklings)! Get to the library, and start reading!

Another Gothic Charm School reader wrote in with some very good advice for Pixie, the young lady starting work at an elderly care home:

Gracious Madam,

I write to you regarding the letter from Pixie that you answered recently. I am a charge nurse at a very lovely nursing home in Wyoming. Expressing my Gothic elegance has never been very difficult, and I have some suggestions that you may pass on to her.

Scrubs come in a variety of colors and styles, including black. If she were to buy them close to Halloween there are lots of neat prints to choose from. Also, being designed for people in the health professions, scrubs can be found in prints with bones and other organs printed on them year round.
I usually buy black ones that have draw string waist bands under the bust. They look great over a corset.

Many of the elderly have low vision, and I have found that many of the residents appreciate my makeup. The contrast allows them to differentiate the features of my face. instead of a peach colored blob surrounded by a dark brown haze, they also get to see a red blob where my mouth is and two darker spots where my eyes are. I do tone it down a little but it is darker than anybody else wears their make up. On days that I don’t have time to do my face before work I actually get complaints.

I only dye the bottom 6 inches of my hair unnatural colors(it is past my waist), so that I can tuck it unnoticeably into a bun.

I would not recommend jewelry ever. A confused elderly person can exert more strength than they may appear to have, and if they become combative they may rip our earrings, or break necklaces. Rings are Ok as long as you think that they will hold up to frequent hand washing.

The elderly appreciate good manners and if she gets them on her side and proves herself to be a consistently hard worker, polite, friendly and happy to do her job without complaining, she will probably be allowed to get away with more self expression.

Thank you for taking the time to read my letter,

China (last name removed) RN

China, thank you so much for sharing your insights about being a Goth working in the health care field. Your letter was very thoughtful; the Lady of the Manners was delighted to receive it and to share it with the readers of Gothic Charm School. Again, thank you.

A Snarkling named Jessica wrote in with a very serious question:


Dear Lady of the Manners, I hope you are not too busy to offer your advice on a dilemma of mine. You see, I suspect I suffer from depression but I refrain from talking to anybody about it for fear they may blame my being a goth for it or not believe me thinking I am merely being gloomy on purpose to boost my gothy image or something silly of that sort. Thank you for reading my letter and I hope you can help.

Oh Jessica, the Lady of the Manners’ heart goes out to you, for that is a difficult situation to be in. But the Lady of the Manners wants to encourage you to talk to people about your concern that you could be dealing with depression, especially a counsellor or therapist of some sort, because staying locked inside a cage your brain is making for you won’t make things any better.

The trick to talking about depression and being a Goth is to make it clear to people that being a Goth has nothing to do with being depressed. It isn’t a requirement, and it certainly isn’t a state that Goths aspire to. As the Lady of the Manners has said before, Goth is about finding beauty in darkness and in the unexpected, about acknowledging that the world isn’t always a good place, and still finding things of interest in those less-than-pleasant instances. Gracious, there are many, many people in the world struggling with depression who aren’t gothy in the slightest.

The best thing the Lady of the Manners can think of for you to do is to sit down and write out what Goth means to you; why you’re interested in all of the dark and spooky things, and why it’s important to you. Because once you have figured that out, then making it clear to people that Goth is separate from the depression you’re battling will be easier. At least, that’s what the Lady of the Manners hopes.

The Lady does know that, no matter what they might be, dealing with people’s misconceptions is difficult. Doing so with the insidious whispers of depression also weighing on your mind takes even more effort.

Also, the Lady of the Manners wants to congratulate you for recognizing that there might be something amiss and for looking for help. That is no small task, and the Lady of the Manners wishes the best of luck to you.


The final question in this installment of Gothic Charm School comes from Bloodysyren, who asks:


I know that this is a purely subjective question, but what do you think are essentials that every Goth should carry in their handbag, backpack, tote bag, or coffin-shaped carry on? Things that no Goth should be without?

Oh goodness. The Lady of the Manners has been known to keep small children entertained for ages by playing the What’s In The Purse? game, but she also knows that not everyone wants to have a magical (hand)bag of holding. However, what the Lady of the Manners considers to be the Gothy Essentials are as follows. (Not including such basic essentials as house keys, ID, a phone, and emergency money for a bus or taxi home, because she assumes all of you would carry those things if you have them.)

  • A few safety pins. (Well actually, the Lady of the Manners thinks you should carry a tiny sewing kit, but three or four safety pins will temporarily fix most wardrobe mishaps.)
  • Facial blotting papers or tissues, to deal with a shiny nose or forehead.
  • A small mirror, whether it’s part of a powder compact or not.
  • An eyeliner pencil. (You could carry liquid liner, but for on-the-go cosmetic fixes, pencil tends to be simpler.)
  • Lipstick or lip balm. (The Lady of the Manners prefers lipstick, but that’s because she feels oddly naked if she leaves the house without coloring her lips the hue of blood wine.)
  • A handkerchief, because you never know when you need to deal with something untidy. (The Lady of the Manners would also suggest some individually-wrapped wet wipes, but insists that you promise never to attempt to use them to correct another’s makeup without their explicit permission. No matter how often the Lady of the Manners has joked about taking a wet-nap to some creature’s ”¦ haphazard attempt at eyeliner, she hasn’t ever done so.)
  • A pen and paper, in case you need to write anything down.
  • Earplugs, in case of spontaneous club or concert -going.
  • Whatever sort of music player you have, and whatever headphones fit in your bag. (The Lady of the Manners gets a bit twitchy if she doesn’t have music with her.)

And finally, something to read. (The Lady of the Manners considers herself very lucky, as she has an iPhone and thus has her favorite books, music, and music videos with her at all times.)

Coming soon (well, eventually) to Gothic Charm School: a review of clothing (oh, wonderful clothing!) from Spin Doctor, a write-up of the Vampire Masquerade Ball, a write-up of Wave Gotik Treffen from Special Correspondant Marc17 , a letter asking why Goths feel the need to be snippy and snarky at non-Goths (a very good letter, that makes some very important points!), and perhaps some more book recommendations. But for now, the Lady of the Manners is going to go have some rose and violet chocolate cremes (thank you again, MoonMelody!), and finish watching The Lost Boys for the umpteen-billionth time. As always, Snarklings, feel free to browse the archives here at Gothic Charm School, and oh, perhaps send a letter if you feel like it …

Posted in Being Mannerly, Book Reviews, Serious Matters, Stuff & Oddments | Leave a comment

Review: Heavy Red Clothing

Heavy Red, Snarklings! You do know of what the Lady of the Manners speaks, don’t you? Heavy Red, purveyors of all sorts of enticing darkware for elegantly spooky and fetchingly tattered gothlings of all genders.

Heavy Red has been around for ages and ages, so when they contacted the Lady of the Manners to ask if she’d be interested in reviewing their merchandise, she clapped her hands in glee and said “Yes, Thank You Very Much!” A short while later, a box arrived at the Gothic Charm School P.O. box, filled with lovely items carefully wrapped in crimson tissue.

The Lady of the Manners has been known to, erm, rather forcefully express her views about hoodies. She will wear them around the house when the weather turns chilly, but couldn’t quite bring herself to accept the notion of a hoodie as a truly interesting piece of Goth fashion. The Illusions of Immortality hoodie, however, made her re-think those views. The keyhole neckline, flanked by the striped panels, would be perfect to frame a stunning necklace or tattoo, the pre-made thumb holes in the sleeves were a brilliant idea, and the the fabric was silky and seemed like it would be very comfortable. Seemed, because the Lady of the Manners discovered that her rather buxom figure was not a good match for the cut of this particular garment. But she handed it to a friend of slightly less busty proportions, who adored it. Yes, very comfortable, very sleek, and striking on its own, or layered with a waistcoat or jacket.

Under another rustling layer of deep red tissue was the Mistress Black Riding Waist Cincher, much to the Lady of the Manners’ delight. She feels that a good black waist cincher is an essential item for Goth ladies (and for many Goth gentlemen), and finding one with the vital combination of good quality and reasonable price is an ongoing quest for many in our dark-clad subculture. The Mistress Black Riding Cincher meets both of those requirements, with steel bones, a front busk, and a modesty panel in the back (something often missing from other off-the-rack corsets), and a not-frighteningly-expensive price tag of $85.

The Lady of the Manners is very pleased to report that the Mistress Black Riding Cincher held up beautifully to a night of dancing. It gave her the smooth hourglass silhouette the Lady of the Manners prefers to combine with her layers of swirling petticoats and cropped Victorian-esque jackets, and didn’t bind or poke as the night progressed. In fact, the Lady of the Manners was so impressed with the Mistress Black Riding Cincher that she’s contemplating purchasing the Fatal Affection Waist Cincher. Black and white stripes, plus a big red heart? Of course the Lady of the Manners keeps going back and staring at it.

The final item, nestled deep within the box, was a lovely silver-tone heart locket. One side was solid, with a pattern of embossed diamonds, while the other side was an open lattice-work of a matching diamond pattern. When the Lady of the Manners isn’t wearing it as a perfume locket (the lattice-work panel makes it perfect for holding a tiny velvet ribbon rose daubed with perfume), it hangs off one of the shoulder straps on her leather jacket.

(The Lady of the Manners has searched through the Jewelry section of the Heavy Red site, but does not see the heart locket she has. The Holy Heart necklace is very similar, but not quite it.)

Would the Lady of the Manners recommend Heavy Red as a good place to spend your hard-earned money? Oh good heavens, yes. The Lady of the Manners is compiling her own wish list for a future spending spree, and is coveting items such as the previously-mentioned Fatal Affection Waist Cincher, the Deviant Studded Buckle Belt (a wide studded belt on an elastic backing? Brilliant!), the Arsenic And Lace Dress Shirt, the Love’s Restraint French Buckle Coat (mmm, sleeves with many, many buckles), and the Narrow Escape Shredded Leggings. (Yes, the Lady of the Manners is having something of a Deathrock Victorian moment. Those leggings and buckle coat would look smashing with layers of petticoats and a high-collared ruffled blouse.)

Some basic information: Heavy Red carries women’s sizes up to a 3XL (which translates to a size 16/18 with a bust measurement of 43 – 44″ in their world). The Lady of the Manners was not able to find a size chart for the menfolk, and also noticed that the available sizes of the four offerings in the “Men’s Goth Clothing” section were a bit ”¦ random. Gentlemen, you may want to email the lovely folks at Heavy Red and ask them if they plan on offering more items for you.

So go! Browse Heavy Red, and if you give into temptation, tell them the Lady of the Manners sent you.

Posted in Being Fashionable, review: clothing, Reviews | Leave a comment

An Assortment Of Questions And Answers

Hello Snarklings! It dawned on the Lady of the Manners that maybe she should try to quickly write a post while also carefully creating the post about the Vampire Masquerade Ball and the reviews of Heavy Red and Spin Doctor. So! A mixed assortment of questions from readers, with (the Lady of the Manners hopes!) helpful answers.

Let’s start off with a question from alexyz:

question: dear Lady of the Manners, i like to draw on myself with markers. my family says this is tacky and not at all goth? would you agree with them? please respond!

Good heavens, drawing on yourself with markers has a long history with Goths and other subcultures! The Lady of the Manners suspects that your family just doesn’t like you drawing on yourself, and are trying to find any reason they can to convince you not to do so.  Is it tacky? The Lady of the Manners supposes that all depends on what you draw or write on yourself, but the act itself isn’t tacky. Or, to put it another way: the Lady of the Manners and many of her friends have never gotten out of the habit of drawing or writing on themselves. It lets one keep a meaningful quote or image with one for a while without the commitment of a tattoo.  

The Lady of the Manners’ dear husband carefully inked that on her arm on the evening of a concert; it was the Lady of the Manners’ way of invoking the song she most wanted to hear at the show. (And it worked.)

So, dear alexyz, perhaps show your family this post, and then ask them what their real objections to you drawing on yourself are, and then see if a clearing-the-air sort of discussion can be had. Just try not to lose your temper, and explain to them why drawing on yourself makes you happy.

Pixie writes to Gothic Charm School with a question about expressing individuality while at work:
Dear beautiful Lady of the Manners.
I do hope you can help me xx
I have one very simple question and I’m sure you could help me out.
See,soon I’m starting work at an Elderly care home, unsurprisingly, gothic fashion is certainly not allowed which I understand and accept,however skirts are not allowed either,You have to wear plain black or grey trousers.
I’d love to be able to express my individuality even if it was in the simplest way.
Faerie wishes and Pixie kisses.
~ Love from
Pixie

There are some jobs where one simply cannot dress as flamboyantly as one would like, and working at a care home for the elderly is certainly one of those. Some simple and unobtrusive ways to express your individuality

– Gothy socks. They’ll be hidden by your trousers and shoes, so you can probably get away with surreptitiously wearing stripes, skulls, spiders, or other interesting designs.

– Subtle, small, Goth-themed jewelry, such as teeny-tiny skull or bat earrings, or a spooky necklace that stays tucked inside your top.

– Check with your supervisor: maybe “wacky” colors of nail polish are allowed, which means you could paint your nails deep blood red, or glittering purple.

Of course, the important thing is to keep in mind that just because you can’t express your Gothness through your work wardrobe does not mean that your Gothness is being diminished. Instead, be a good employee and do the best you can at work, and show your true dark colors during your days off.

Monica from Mexico has a question about what to wear with a corset:

question: Dear Lady, I am a babybat from Mexico and I recently was allowed to buy a corset. But I would like to ask your advice on something about it… I know a corset is usually worn without anything underneath, but I really don’t like the idea of having my shoulders and arms bare. So my question is, is it okay to wear a long sleeve shirt underneath it? or what can I wear to cover at least my shoulders?

Thank you.

Oh good heavens. YES, it is perfectly okay to wear a long-sleeved shirt underneath your corset. In the Lady of the Manners’ world, corsets are always worn over other things, and frequently under additional garments. In addition to long-sleeved shirts, you could wear your corset with a jacket, a shrug (a type of cropped jacket that covers just the arms and shoulders), or a shawl. So feel free to cover your arms and shoulders if that is what makes you comfortable. (A note to other Snarklings: if you don’t want to cover your arms and shoulders when you wear a corset, that’s fine too. Dress in the way that makes you happy!)

Amanda is looking for book recommendations:

Dearest Lady of the Manners,

I have a possibly odd request. You see I am in a minority Christian religion (neither Protestant nor Catholic) which I love but am also a goth that loves to read. Because of my personal beliefs I avoid the supernatural and undead- no werewolves, zombies, or even vampires for me.  

However, I find that many of the book recommendations from other goths involve mostly these very things. So, besides the classics like Poe, Baudelaire, etc., I have a dearth of dark reading material.  

Do you have any suggestions for non-supernatural gothy/dark reading? Thank you in advance and, by the way, I love your work. You are awesome and never fail to make my day!

::a brief pause while the Lady of the Manners goes and stares at her bookcases::

Hmmmm. You know, the Lady of the Manners herself doesn’t really have any dark or Gothic -themed reading material that doesn’t involve the supernatural! Gracious, what a dilemma. The only things that come to mind are:

The Amelia Peabody series by Elizabeth Peters. Egyptology, adventure, and comedy, but with some gothy overtones.

Nevermore by Harold Schecter, and the rest of the Edgar Allan Poe series he wrote. In Nevermore, Edgar Allan Poe finds himself reluctantly joining forces with Davey Crockett to solve a gruesome series of murders.

Of course, there are also the classics, such as Jane Eyre or Wuthering Heights, the works of Oscar Wilde, or the Sherlock Holmes stories. However, the Lady of the Manners cannot bring to mind any other gothy-but-not-supernatural books! So she turns to the faithful readers of Gothic Charm School: Do you have book recommendations for Amanda? Please send them to Gothic Charm School, and the Lady of the Manners will post a list.

Starry wrote asking for help with dealing with the blazing summer:

Salutations, my dearest Lady of the Manners,

I am in a bit of a bind, and wonder if you had any suggestions. To be as brief as possible, this Snarkling’s least favourite season is summer. The heat and the sun make me quite ill, and I am actually ALLERGIC to the sun (as is my mother, it runs in the family). I am also in possession of extremely delicate and sensitive skin, and the list of things that must stay away from my face includes many soaps, lotions, cosmetics, and unfortunately, sunblock (it sets my skin on fire; even the mild formulas devised for “baby skin”).  

Can you think of any way that I might be able to endure this summer without becoming a basement dwelling hermit?  

Thank you for your time,
Starry

And Harra also asked for help with dealing with the burning orb and heat:

Dear Lady of the Manners,

First of all, your site and books are lifesavers. Even though I slide more to the Lolita and the more frilly and decadent sides of Goth, the subculture has always had a soft spot in my heart for many years, and your books have solved many of my troubles.

My concern? I live in Arizona, and if there’s one thing we’re known for, it’s grueling summers. Last year, it got up to 118F, and we tend to see up to two months in the summer where the thermostat does not read under 100F.

Of course, it’s late April now, and already starting to see 90-95F. What would you advise for this modestly-inclined black-clad lady? I am sure a lot of Arizona-bound Goths would appreciate your words of wisdom.

Always appreciative of your advice,
~Harra

Firstly, allow the Lady of the Manners to point you to a Gothic Charm School post from waaaay back in 2004: The Summer Of Goth. The important things to keep in mind when dealing with high temperatures and blinding sun: loose, flowing clothing (in natural fibers, preferably!) will help keep you cooler than skimpy and skin-tight garments; a handheld fan gives you a cooling breeze wherever you may be stuck; and parasols and wide-brimmed sun hats allow you to carry shade with you.

Some other useful things the Lady of the Manners has learned over the past few summers: fishnet or lace hosiery, once soaked down with cold water, will act as portable air conditioning as the water evaporates; and if you must make an appearance in formal (-ish) Goth finery during scorching weather, stick a small, sealable plastic bag packed with ice down the front of your corset or secured to the small of your back. (Just make sure that the bag is very securely sealed to prevent water leaking everywhere!)

As to Starry’s problems with the chemicals in sunblock: have  you looked into powder sunblocks? The Lady of the Manners carries a jar of Jane Iredale powder sunscreen in her purse during summer months, and a quick search of the web shows there are all sorts of powder sunscreens out there. (In fact, when the Lady of the Manners eventually runs out of her Jane Iredale powder, she may give Go!screen Natural BrushOn Powder Sunscreen a try.)

Another reader named Starry (the Lady of the Manners is fairly certain that the Starry of the previous question about summer is different than this Starry because of the different email addresses) needs some guidance about decorating her room:

To my darling Lady of the Manners,  

I am in something of a quandry, and find myself needing your particular brand of advice. I am an almost-20-year-old goth, living at home whilst attending university. Thankfully, my parents are rather accepting of my unusual attire, though they reject the idea of the subculture due to the mainstream misconceptions.  

My dilemma is as thus: How to alter my bedroom to better reflect my interests? This would be a straightforward question, were it not for these limiting factors:  

*We live in rented space, thus no painting of the walls
*I share a bedroom with my 8-year-old sister, so space is SEVERELY limited
*I share a bedroom, thus it must be non-offensive to the room’s other occupant
*I must finance this endeavour myself

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!  
Sincerely,
Starry

This Gothic Charm School post from 2010 has some helpful suggestions for decorating one’s room on a budget, so you may want to start there. But the fact that you are sharing your room with your much younger sister means you will need to be even more creative. The Lady of the Manners suggests that you take yourself to the nearest thrift store and see what sort of enticing things you can find in the “textiles” section: look for curtains or duvet covers in interesting fabrics (lace, velvet, satin, brocade) in deep jewel tones, and pin them up to cover your walls. (There’s always the option of mounting curtain rods on the walls and hanging the fabric that way, but finding budget-friendly curtain rods is sometimes something of a chore, and drilling holes into the walls may not be allowed.)

If you have a good eye for space, you could use curtains as a framing device, and in the space between the curtains put up images you like. Yet again, thrift stores are a good source for inexpensive picture frames, and the Lady of the Manners knows many people who have framed pages from illustrated books or magazines to very striking effect.

Stores such as Ross, T.J. Maxx, and Marshall’s all can be treasure-troves of interesting and low-cost room decor: pillows, fancy-looking storage boxes, and framed mirrors. Those stores aren’t (usually) as inexpensive as thrift stores, but they are a little more reliable in terms of finding things for decorating your space.


The final question in this installment of Gothic Charm School is from Jessica, asking about one of the largest Goth festivals in the world:

Dearest Lady of the Manners, what is your opinion on the Wave Gotik Treffen? What would you suggest to those who would like to attend and have you ever attended yourself?   Sincerely, Jessica

Oh Jessica, the Lady of the Manners dreams of being able to go to Wave Gotik Treffen. A huge festival filled with bands, vendors of enticing spooky wares, and gorgeously-dressed attendees? Of course the Lady of the Manners wants to go. Alas, she hasn’t, due to budget issues.

(When in need of an eye candy fix, the Lady of the Manners will spend ages browsing the WGT galleries on Viona-art. Of course, in addition to filling the need for gothy eye candy, this fills the Lady of Manners with wistful longing for fantastic events, but that’s a small price to pay.)

Since the Lady of the Manners hasn’t managed to attend the event yet, she doesn’t have any personal experiences to offer advice from. However, the sadgoth.com site seems to have a collection of good tips and links to other useful sites for people planning their trip to WGT.

Finally, even though the Lady of the Manners is not able to attend Wave Gotik Treffen (again!) this year, her dear friend Marc17 will be attending the festival, and is the “Special Correspondent” for Gothic Charm School. Marc17 will be taking photos and doing a write-up of all the excitement, which will be posted here on Gothic Charm School.

Now that the Lady of the Manners has answered a handful of reader letters, she is going to brew some more Strawberry Chocolate tea, and return to writing about the Vampire Masquerade Ball, and the reviews of clothing from Heavy Red and Spin Doctor. While she’s busy doing that, you should browse the archives here at Gothic Charm School, and oh, perhaps send a letter if you feel like it …

Posted in Being Fashionable, Events, General, Growing Pains, Stuff & Oddments | Leave a comment