Gothic Charm School

An Assortment of Questions About Religion, Gossip, and Vampires.

Posted on June, 2006 by Lady of the Manners

Yes, Snarklings, go ahead and stare surprisedly at the Lady of the Manners. It was not the Lady of the Manners’ intention to be away so long, but … remember when the Lady of the Manners wrote that working in the tech industry was a good option for clever people who don’t want to be overly concerned with dress codes? The Lady of the Manners still believes that, but must add the caveat that there will sometimes be deadlines that laugh derisively at the notion of a person having a life outside of work.

However! The Lady of the Manners is back, and is rejoicing in having some free time by answering a varied selection of questions from readers. Yes, it’s true! The Lady of the Manners reads each and every bit of mail that is sent to her; don’t ever doubt that, Snarklings. Continue reading →

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A Random Assortment of Things

Posted on January, 2006 by Lady of the Manners

Oh ”¦ dear. The Lady of the Manners would like to apologize for the complete and utter lack of a December lesson. The Lady of the Manners won’t say that the entire month of December sped right past without her noticing, but she is rather surprised at how … quickly January seemed to creep up on her.

So! To make amends for missing a month, the Lady of the Manners is going to answer a random assortment from some of the many questions that readers have sent in. No going on and on (and on and on) about any one ~~pet peeve~~ topic, but a wealth of questions and ~~rants~~ answers. Don’t you feel giddy at the very idea? (Just smile and nod at the Lady of the Manners, Snarklings. It makes the Lady of the Manners feel like you’re paying attention.)
Continue reading →

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“Black is this Year’s Black …”

Posted on October, 2005 by Lady of the Manners

Gothic Charm School? Yes snarklings, Gothic Charm School. Someplace for the dark at heart to learn about deportment and decorum. Now, the clever and perceptive among you might notice that a lot of the lessons here at the school seem ”¦ familiar. Almost as if you’ve read them before, somewhere.

You would be right

Yes, those lessons were once on a couple of different websites, under a different name. But change is necessary and good, and it was about time for a shiny new website anyway. You see, the Lady of the Manners was contacted by some people in the legal profession, who explained to her that though she hadn’t intended to, the Lady of the Manners was infringing upon another person’s property. (Yes, intellectual property IS property, haven’t you been paying attention?) Now, the Lady of the Manners holds that other person in the highest regard, and never meant to cause that venerated lady any distress, so presto-chango! Things were taken down, tidied up a bit, given a thorough polishing, and then placed in orderly rows here at Gothic Charm School. New lessons will appear at least every month, if not even more frequently. It depends on what sort of questions the Lady of the Manners sees turning up. So go forth and investigate all those enticing clicky-links over there; you can review past lessons, view the goodies for sale in the Mercantile area, or even see what sites the Lady of the Manners is terribly fond of. The Lady of the Manners is just happy that you decided to stop by.

The Lady of the Manners was trying to decide what to address as the first lesson here at the lovely new website when she started noticing a recurring theme in the fall window displays and fashion magazines. A recurring theme that looked awfully familiar. So, just what *should* you do when your subculture becomes the current flavor of the month for fashion?
Continue reading →

Posted in Being Fashionable, General | Leave a comment

You should be in pictures …

Posted on July, 2004 by Lady of the Manners

Lately, there has been a lot of mail sent to Gothic Charm School from female readers who are all asking about the same topic. You see, they all want to become Gothic models, and does the Lady of the Manners have any advice?

The Lady of the Manners’ first instinct was to answer “Don’t”, but realizes that not only is that not terribly helpful, but would make for a very short column. So the Lady of the Manners went and asked all the gothy models and photographers she knows (and it surprised her to discover how many Gothic models and photographers she does know) for their perspective on the whole thing.

Firstly, think about *why* you want to be a Goth model. Is it because everyone has told you how cute you are, and that you should be a model? Or is it because you want everyone to tell you how cute you are, and putting pictures of yourself online will cause that to happen? The thing to be VERY aware of is that putting pictures of yourself on the internet will get you attention, but perhaps not the sort of attention you really want. Not just people thinking of you ”¦ er ”¦ in an perhaps inappropriate and prurient fashion, but people looking at your pictures and saying horrible, catty, and mean things about you. Not to mention people making up lies and spreading rumors about you based on nothing more than a photo.

Now that the Lady of the Manners has gotten that cautionary statement out of her system, on to possibly more palatable advice: Continue reading →

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The Summer of Goth

Posted on June, 2004 by Lady of the Manners

This time around, Gothic Charm School isn’t going to be about etiquette questions. No, this month the Lady of the Manner is going to talk about a seasonal sort of topic: how to survive the summer as a Goth.

Firstly, the basics: apply sun block every day (including your ears and the back of your neck), drink plenty of water, and try to not to wear head-to-toe PVC or polyester (you *can*, if you really want to, but then you probably shouldn’t complain about being too warm. You brought it on yourself).

There are plenty of summer-temperature ”“friendly gothy wardrobe options (though there are fewer for goth boys than there are for the female of the species, the Lady of the Manners is sad to say). Look for items made of cotton, rayon, linen, or silk. (The Lady of the Manners herself is very fond of those black cotton/rayon “twist lace” dresses for summer; of course, she adds yards and yards of lace trim and ribbons, because *everything* is better with yards and yards of lace trim and ribbons, but that’s merely a personal preference.) Flowing gauzy skirts, cotton bloomers and lace-trimmed camisoles, and slip dresses are all comfortable options, while the gentlemen can opt for shorts (did you apply sun block to your legs?) and light-weight, natural fiber shirts. And though the Lady of the Manners knows it’s a hardship, you really should try to forgo stompy boots, and instead find sandals or black canvas sneakers. Continue reading →

Posted in Being Fashionable, General, Stuff & Oddments | Leave a comment

Posted on May, 2004 by Lady of the Manners

This month at Gothic Charm School, the Lady of the Manners is going to address a topic she knows she’s covered before, but realized that not only was she STILL getting mail about it, but that she still had some things to say.

ClichÃ©s. ClichÃ©s are what make the ElderGoths roll their eyes at the Babybats, when all the younger generation is doing is the same sort of silly stuff the ElderGoths did years ago. And yes, the Lady of the Manners can already hear some of you asking “But if it’s the same sort of stuff, why is it now okay to make fun of it?”

The answer is, it isn’t really okay to make fun of it, but people do. (Yes, even the Lady of the Manners has rolled her eyes and make quietly snarky comments to friends about other people’s eyeliner or badly-done Crow makeup.) You see, many people become uncomfortable when presented with living, breathing examples of how they behaved in the throes of youthful fervor. ElderGoths (usually) like to present themselves as terribly jaded and (again, usually) ennui-laden. “Oh, how *adorable*”, they’ll say in sarcasm-laden tones, “Look at that one with all the swirly eyeliner. Isn’t that ”¦ cute.” Continue reading →

Posted in General, Growing Pains, Stuff & Oddments | Leave a comment

Yet Another Lesson About Dealing with Your Parents

Posted on April, 2004 by Lady of the Manners

This month, the Lady of the Manners is going to go over a topic she’s *sure* she’s talked about in the past, but has been receiving quite the flurry of mail about, mostly from her younger readers. Such heartfelt letters that the Lady of the Manners must address the question again, because she really does want to help those younger readers free themselves from turmoil and worry.

What is the burning issue these younger Goths are troubled over? Some of them are trying to deal with the harsh burden of parental disapproval, poor dears. “My parents won’t let me be a Goth!” they cry. The Lady of the Manners feels for them, she really does.

One suggestion the Lady of the Manners has for these fledgling Goths (The Lady of the Manners is going to try very hard not to refer to them as ”˜baby bats’ or ”˜babygoths’, since she has also gotten mail asking that she not do that any more) is entirely dependant on how well they think they can keep their temper. Why? Because the Lady of the Manners is going to suggest something shocking and novel; talking to your parents. (Of course, if your yearnings to be a Goth stems from wanting to annoy your parents, get a reaction from them, and look as shocking as possible, then the Lady of the Manners really can’t help you.)
Yes, talk to your parents. Ask them *why* they’re opposed to your being a Goth. Do they think it’s a cult? (It’s not.) Do they think it will lead you to becoming a Satanist? (It probably won’t.) Do they object to you ”˜dressing funny’, or are worried about any negative attention your attire might subject you to? Continue reading →