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Meta
Category Archives: Serious Matters
You Don’t Have to Be Neurotypical
As the Lady of the Manners has mentioned before, she is frequently humbled by some of the heartfelt, heartsore letters that Snarklings have written to Gothic Charm School. And the Lady of the Manners often worries that she isn’t really able to help; she’s a well-meaning Internet Auntie, not a professional. But even with those concerns, she IS determined to help as much as she’s able, because that’s what everyone should do. Sometimes the help is focused on music, clothing, and books, and sometimes it’s focused on reassuring people that they are a goth. And sometimes, it’s a little bit of both. Continue reading
Posted in Fashion, Growing Pains, Serious Matters
Tagged autism, goth fashion, growing pains, there is no Eldergoth Cabal
17 Comments
Of Struggling with Emotional and Mental Turmoil
The Lady of the Manners is going to be completely honest here, Snarklings: occasionally there are heartfelt, heartsore, and utterly brave people who write to Gothic Charm School, and the Lady of the Manners worries about how to answer, because what if she says the wrong things, y the wrong sort of advice? Because wanting to help people and be kind to them doesn’t change the fact that the Lady of the Manners is a well-intentioned auntie-by-proxy, and in no way a professional therapist.
But. BUT. The Lady of the Manners does want to help, and is humbled by the bravery shown by the readers who reach out to her. Because reaching out to anyone, even an auntie-by-proxy, about emotional and mental turmoil IS an act of bravery. Please never doubt that.
Continue reading
A Selection of Questions and Answers
Hello Snarklings! Please accept the Lady of the Manners’ heartfelt apologies for the lack of posts the past few months; while she’s been relatively active over on Tumblr and Instagram, the ongoing chaos of daily life has meant there’s been precious little time for sitting down and answering letters. But! Gothic Charm School has returned, and will (one hopes) settle back into a routine of regular posts. However, enough with the explanations and apologies, it’s time for letters! Continue reading
Posted in Elder Goths, Fashion, General, Growing Pains, Serious Matters
12 Comments
Repeating Some Important and Helpful Information
(Regular posting will resume here at Gothic Charm School in February. Things have been very chaotic and stressful lately, which has led to a lack of writing.)
The Lady of the Manners gets political: The world has become a much scarier place for a lot of us, and we need to pull together. Continue reading
Posted in General, Important Announcements, Serious Matters
Tagged clicky-links, helping people, politics
4 Comments
Of Babybats Striving to Become Themselves
The Lady of the Manners gets political: The world has become a much scarier place for a lot of us, and we need to pull together.
- Stand with those who are at risk. Support immigrants, people of color, the LGBTA community, women, people with disabilities (visible or not), anyone who is “other” and is going to be a target.
- USA: VOTE IN THE 2018 MIDTERMS. Take back Congress.
- Donate, if you can. Time, energy, and money. Some organizations you might want to consider donating to:
- Planned Parenthood
- The ACLU
- The Southern Poverty Law Center
- The Trevor Project
- Immigration Equality
- The Wildlife Society
- Local food banks
- Local shelters for at-risk people
- Take care of yourselves.
—
After the previous Gothic Charm School post about Eldergoths, the Lady of the Manners decided she should give some attention to her younger readers, too.
Continue reading
Posted in General, Growing Pains, Important Announcements, Serious Matters
Tagged babybat, growing pains, talking to your parents
9 Comments
(Lack of) Vision Thing
The Lady of the Manners is going to say, right up front, that she very much wants there to be reader comments on this particular post. Because, to be perfectly honest, she’s not sure how much useful advice she has to give to this Snarkling! The following question is one that has never fluttered into the Gothic Charm School mailbox before, and is a situation the Lady of the Manners has no experience with.
Greetings Mistress,
My name is Sarah, and I have, for many years, been struggling with a rather unique problem regarding my gothiness, and I’ve come to the exhausting conclusion that I can’t solve it on my own. I hoped you’d be able to offer me some guidance because I fear I have nowhere else to turn. The crux of my dilemma, mistress, is that I am blind. I have been so since birth, and although that has not prevented me from living and experiencing life to its fullest, it certainly presents a plethora of challenges. Continue reading
Of Going to Goth Clubs
Welcome to 2016, Snarklings! To kick the new year off, here’s a question about going to goth events at nightclubs:
question: Dear Lady of Manners,
I have a dilemma. I attend a school that doesn’t allow its students to frequent night clubs. Normally, I wouldn’t want to go to one, but there is a gothic event at one next month that I am dying to attend. I’ve never really known any other Goths, so I would love to go. (Disclaimer: I would not be going to gawk. I dress goth or punk about 50 percent of the time and used to in high school as well, but I have had a pull to the gothic things for years.) However, naturally, it is in a seedy part of the city, and I would be going alone. Should I go or not? And if so, what are the best ways to ensure my safety both in the city and in the club? (I have never been to a club before.)
Thank you so much,
Raven
The Lady of the Manners is going to say right off the bat that because your school doesn’t allow students to frequent nightclubs, if there is any chance that a trip out to explore the nighttime goth scene will jeopardize your scholastic career, DON’T GO. Yes, the Lady of the Manners is being a repressive worrywart, but she can’t imagine that any school that forbids students to go to nightclubs would be very understanding about the “but I’ll finally be able to meet people like me!” aspect of your desire to go.
Should you go? Snarkling, that’s for you and only you to decide. Continue reading
Posted in Being Social, Clubbing & Concerts, Serious Matters
12 Comments
An Important Announcement
Dear darling Snarklings,
The Lady of the Manners has been dithering over this announcement for a while. This website, the original home of Gothic Charm School, is taking a hiatus from reader questions until around October. Everything is fine, there is no crisis or problem! But there are some other projects of mine that need my focused attention, and I need to take a break in order to do that. Continue reading
Posted in Important Announcements, Serious Matters
Tagged hiatus, important announcements
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Of Being Who You Want to Be, and Not Knowing What the Future Holds.
Snarklings, it appears it’s again time for a discussion of how to continue being the person you want to be. There are so many letters from you darling odd creatures out there fretting about how to stay true to your gothy inclinations! Continue reading
Posted in Growing Pains, Serious Matters
12 Comments
Responding to Insulting and Mean Comments
Hello Snarklings! This time at Gothic Charm School, the Lady of the Manners is going to deal with a subject that both she and goths everywhere are sadly all too familiar with: people directing unkind or mean-spirited comments at you. Ophelia sent in the following question: Continue reading →