Author Archives: Lady of the Manners

Of Going to Goth Clubs

Welcome to 2016, Snarklings! To kick the new year off, here’s a question about going to goth events at nightclubs:

question: Dear Lady of Manners,

I have a dilemma. I attend a school that doesn’t allow its students to frequent night clubs. Normally, I wouldn’t want to go to one, but there is a gothic event at one next month that I am dying to attend. I’ve never really known any other Goths, so I would love to go. (Disclaimer: I would not be going to gawk. I dress goth or punk about 50 percent of the time and used to in high school as well, but I have had a pull to the gothic things for years.) However, naturally, it is in a seedy part of the city, and I would be going alone. Should I go or not? And if so, what are the best ways to ensure my safety both in the city and in the club? (I have never been to a club before.)

Thank you so much,
Raven

The Lady of the Manners is going to say right off the bat that because your school doesn’t allow students to frequent nightclubs, if there is any chance that a trip out to explore the nighttime goth scene will jeopardize your scholastic career, DON’T GO. Yes, the Lady of the Manners is being a repressive worrywart, but she can’t imagine that any school that forbids students to go to nightclubs would be very understanding about the “but I’ll finally be able to meet people like me!” aspect of your desire to go.

Should you go? Snarkling, that’s for you and only you to decide. Continue reading

Posted in Being Social, Clubbing & Concerts, Serious Matters | 12 Comments

Of Writing Stereotypes and Being Exasperated

Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners is trying to rouse herself from the depths of winter hibernation, but gracious, it’s difficult. Still, she has made her way to the goblin city unwrapped herself from fuzzy blankets and brewed an extra-strong pot of tea so she can answer reader questions! Continue reading

Posted in General, Growing Pains | Leave a comment

Beware of Crimson Peak – Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab!

was that sound you heard?

If you’ve recently caught sight of me on my assorted social media accounts, then you’ve seen seen me shrieking and flailing in delight about Guillermo del Toro’s movie, Crimson Peak. It’s a darkly lush gothic romance, full of terror, ghosts, and every gothic romance trope that Guillermo del Toro could layer into it. To say that I loved this movie (and the novelization by Nancy Holder, and the art book Crimson Peak: The Art of Darkness) is to only faintly portray my enthusiasm for it.

When I learned that my beloved olfactory geniuses at Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab and Black Phoenix Trading Post had created a line of perfume oils and atmosphere sprays, my flailing glee reached new levels. Continue reading

Posted in BPAL, Reviews, Show And Tell | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

An Important Announcement

Dear darling Snarklings,

The Lady of the Manners has been dithering over this announcement for a while. This website, the original home of Gothic Charm School, is taking a hiatus from reader questions until around October. Everything is fine, there is no crisis or problem! But there are some other projects of mine that need my focused attention, and I need to take a break in order to do that. Continue reading

Posted in Important Announcements, Serious Matters | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Of Werewolves. Werewolves and Goth.

The Lady of the Manners feels like she needs to state that the question in this edition of Gothic Charm School is one she had never received before. Which isn’t to say it’s bad, or creepy, or unsettling! Just ”¦ this isn’t something that people have asked before. It comes from a young spooky creature: Continue reading

Posted in Being Mannerly, Being Social | Tagged , | 12 Comments

Show and Tell: Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab: An Evening With The Spirits

Snarklings, you do know about Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, yes? Just in case you don’t: they’re an independent perfume company that specializes in gothic, decadent, and romantic scents. I’ve been a fan of theirs for over a decade, and their ever-evolving concoctions are the reason I am never able to decide on a “signature” scent for myself; how could I choose just one? (Though I will admit, Blood Popsicle from the Only Lovers Left Alive collection is almost my perfect perfume.

The clever olfactory magicians at Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab very kindly sent me their collection of scents inspired by 19th century spiritualism and occultism. I’ve always been fascinated by the spiritualist movement and antique occultism, so the notion of exploring those things through the scented genius of BPAL’s vision — Oh! How I swooned! Continue reading

Posted in BPAL, Reviews, Show And Tell | 1 Comment

Gothy Valentines!

This may come as a surprise to some of you, but the Lady of the Manners adores Valentine’s Day. Chocolate! Roses! Pink and red accents to things! Giving silly cards to your friends and loved ones! Yes, it’s overcommercialized; yes, it can make people keenly aware of whatever their relationship status is, for good or for ill; but don’t give into bitterness or despair, Snarklings! Valentine’s Day is for showing affection and kindness to people that matter to you, not just for romantic gestures. Look for the silliest box of kiddie Valentine cards that you can find, then send them to people you think need a spot of whimsy in their life. Send your friends links to pictures of adorable animals that make you think of them. Valentine’s Day is what you make of it, and it’s equally about celebrating friendship and platonic love as it is about romantic love. Continue reading

Posted in General, Holidays & Special Occasions, Love & Romance | Tagged , , | 7 Comments

Nocturnal House: Prince Lestat

Go put on your finest velvet frock coats, antique lace scarves and cuffs, and pour yourself a cup of tea or a glass of your favorite libation, Snarklings. Because it’s time for another visit to the Nocturnal House, and OH! What a visit it will be. Because the Lady of the Manners has finally paused in her gleeful dancing around with her beloved cliches and actually gotten around to writing the review:

Prince Lestat, by Anne Rice. Continue reading

Posted in General, Nocturnal House | Tagged , , , , | 12 Comments

Gothic Museum Exhibits! MMA and the British Library

Oh, how the Lady of the Manners wishes she could get to NYC sometime between now and February 1, 2015! The Metropolitan Museum of Art’s exhibit Death Becomes Her: A Century of Mourning Attire looks to be utterly amazing, and the Lady of the Manners would love to spend a few hours examining the details of the gorgeous, funereal artifacts and fashion. Continue reading

Posted in General | 6 Comments

Of Musical Conjurings: An Interview with Meredith Yayanos

The Lady of the Manners has a special treat for you Snarklings! In December 2012, a gorgeously unsettling musical work was released: A Blessed Unrest, by The Parlour Trick. A collaboration between Meredith Yanos and Dan Cantrell, is an album perfect for spirits looking for a house to haunt, or to soothe a madwoman in an attic. It quickly became one of the Lady of the Manners’ favorite musical works, and is a perfect soundtrack for writing.

And now, presented to you after assorted adventures and hijinks with email and schedules: the Gothic Charm School interview with Meredith Yanos!
Continue reading

Posted in review: music | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment