Show And Tell: Noxenlux Chapeaux

Posted on February, 2010 by Lady of the Manners

Hey look, it’s time for another installment of Show And Tell at Gothic Charm School! Featuring Noxenlux Chapeaux.

I have a … weakness … for hats. My hat collection is rather large, and I am especially fond of miniature hats. Mini top hats, mini tricorns, whimsical little things festooned with ribbons and feathers (and maybe skulls) I can perch on my head; yes, please! And some of the favorites in my collection were made by Noxenlux Chapeaux!

The hats from Noxenlux Chapeaux are marvels of construction and intricate touches. In fact, Carlee (the temptress behind Noxenlux Chapeaux, who keeps luring me into acquiring even more hats) is one of a handful of people I would call a milliner instead of a hat maker. What’s the difference, you may ask? A milliner (in my eyes) is someone who constructs their hats by hand and creates their own designs, while a hat maker is someone who takes pre-existing hats and decorates them. I’m not snubbing hat makers, not at all! Goodness, I indulge in hat making when I have the free time and unearth a spare hat. But being a milliner is an entirely different level of artwork, and I am in awe of people who can manage it.

The hats from Noxenlux Chapeaux are made from scratch with buckram and millinery wire, or are blocked by hand from wool felt. After that well-crafted starting point, the hats go on to be covered with luxuriant fabrics, or embellished with beautiful ribbons and trim. Decorations such as clusters of feathers, cameos, interesting bits of metalwork, crystals, or cast resin skulls are then added as finishing touches.

Carlee spends a lot of time and effort on the hats she creates, and it shows. Whether a Steampunk top hat with fabric that features clock faces, or a striped tricorn that looks like it came off of the set of a movie, it’s apparent that each hat she creates was devised with a master plan and an eye for detail, rather than a haphazard collection of ideas and decorations.

Noxenlux Chapeaux has a range of hat designs that include miniature top hats and tricorns, pillbox hats, burlesque-inspired fascinators and tilt hats, larger top hats, and the occasional bowler hat or newsboy-style cap. In addition, Noxenlux Chapeaux will create a custom hat if you don’t find quite what you’re looking for on the website.

I have the good fortune to own four hats by Noxenlux Chapeaux: two mini tricorns, and two Victorian-styled tilt top hats. They are gorgeous. One of the tricorns is made from a black and pink striped fabric and decorated with black ribbons and pink feathers. As my wardrobe is heavily weighted toward black, pink, and stripy, this is a perfect hat for me. The other tricorn is made from black fabric featuring a lovely scrollwork and skulls pattern (the infamous Alexander Henry “Skullduggery” fabric, which is getting increasingly hard to find!), and has some jaunty black feathers. I made a skirt in the same fabric, which means I was pretty much destined to own that particular tricorn.

(The wonderful thing about mini tricorns and top hats is that they’re fancy things that can be worn to events like, oh, concerts, plays, or movies, without worrying that your choice in accessories may be blocking the view of the person behind you. Sure, scoff if you’d like, but it’s rude to wear a hat that would do that. What’s that? Don’t wear a hat to such an event? That’s just crazy talk.)

The Victorian-ish tilt hats are insanely charming. They are just the right size to sit on one’s head without needing hair combs attached to keep them in place, but they are smaller and lighter than full-size top hats. After I acquired the pink & black one, I rapidly realized that I needed an all-black one for “everyday” wear. (Yes, really. Of course top hats are everyday wear!)

In short, are you looking for a hat? (Of course you have been, if only in idle daydreams.) Then scamper over to Noxenlux Chapeaux and browse. You won’t be disappointed!

Posted in Noxenlux Chapeau, review: hats, Show And Tell | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Of Confiscated Clothing, Dangerous Classmates, And Disapproving Fiancés

Posted on January, 2010 by Lady of the Manners

Questions, Snarklings! So many questions! In fact, the Lady of the Manners isn’t going to spend any more time writing an introductory paragraph or two, but is going to jump straight to answering letters from readers. Such as this one, from Wayward Victorian:

question: My dear Lady,

I discovered your website quite by accident while being sick in bed with nothing to do but browse the internet for lovely gothic items I could only hope to add to my wardrobe, and I must say this site is brilliant and very helpful. Now I find that I need your help with an issue regarding my mother. I have been openly goth for about three years now, and while my mom would occasionally roll her eyes at my somewhat darker wardrobe, she would not put restrictions on my clothing. However, after many an argument regarding my fashion choices, she has gone through my closet and taken all of my beautiful skirts, velvet blouses, lovely Victorian jackets, and anything else she has deemed “too goth.” I am turning 18 soon, and was wondering how to go about asking for these precious items back without starting another nasty argument. How do I make her realize that I am happiest when wearing my Victorian attire? Help would be greatly appreciated.

Sincerely yours,
Wayward Victorian

Oh, you poor creature, having your wardrobe confiscated! In the course of the nasty arguments, has your mother ever given you an explanation of why she objects to your gothy Victorian garments? Because if she can tell you why she started feeling that your fashion choices were “too goth” and why that upset her, then perhaps you can gently convince her that she has nothing to be concerned about. The Lady of the Manners doesn’t know what your mother’s objections may be, but the usual parental qualms about a gothy wardrobe tend to be:

– Other people will look at you strangely or treat you poorly.
– How you choose to dress might cause people to judge them as bad parents.
– They want you to “look like everyone else”.

As readers of Gothic Charm School know, the Lady of the Manners doesn’t consider any of those to be terribly valid. Yes, dressing in an eccentric or flamboyant manner will prompt people to look at you oddly, or treat you differently. However, some people will look at someone oddly or treat them differently for no reason whatsoever, just as people may label someone a “bad parent” for a variety of inconsequential reasons. So the Lady of the Manners doesn’t see why you shouldn’t dress to please yourself, as long as you’re aware of what sort of reactions you might inspire, and don’t fall into the trap of complaining “OMG, why are they staring at meeeeeeee?!” when you look like you’ve escaped from a Victorian asylum.

As to looking like everyone else or looking “normal”; well, those things are in no way a guarantee of untroubled happiness. The Lady of the Manners knows that she would be quite unhappy if she were (for some reason) forced to give up her velvet jackets and petticoats, because dressing in her finery is one of the things that makes her very happy indeed. Blending in with “everyone else” is sometimes nothing more than camouflage to hide misery and depression.

The Lady of the Manners quite understands not wanting to start any more arguments, but if you are happiest with your Victorian-esque attire, then you have to talk to your mother about your upcoming “adult” birthday, and the fact that you wish to make your own choices about how you present yourself to the world. Stand up for what you want, and gently but firmly explain to your mother that you would like your wardrobe returned to you. Try not to get overly upset or frustrated; however make it clear that you choose your clothes to make yourself happy and confident, and while it would be nice if your mother approved of your wardrobe choices, she shouldn’t keep your things from you.

—

Hello there, good Lady. It’s been a long time since I submitted a question, mostly because you’ve covered such a range of topics I can normally find what I need in the archives. Your solid wisdom and sound, mature advice is good to fall back on when things get awkward in my life, and I’ve learned from you that common sense and basic politeness solve nearly everything.

That said, there’s been some trouble in my life lately that I can’t seem to avoid. I tried your favored approach, The Moral High Road, but when someone is especially confrontational that doesn’t work. You see, I am in love with what the lolita fashion community refers to as sweets jewelry. I know cupcake shaped rings and cookie-sandwich necklaces aren’t very Goth, but I adore them nonetheless. Most Goths at my college seem to find them cute even if they wouldn’t wear it themselves. There is, however, one very loud and obnoxious exception who likes to mock me at the top of his voice at every possible occasion. At first I just ignored him completely. Other times I’ve had to settle for giving him a Look and biting my tongue as he lectures others on what is Goth and not Goth and reminds everyone how girly things are not Goth and Goth is about being badass and tough. He’s an explosively angry person who once ripped the sink out of the main hall’s building and threw it at someone, to give you some idea of what a ‘tough badass’ he is.

Hard as I try to ignore him and just scream into my plush turtle when I get home, recently he’s made that impossible. In the past week I’ve been shoved into a wall, had my groceries slapped out of my hands in my dorm hall, and he smashed my cookie dough ball necklace after pulling it off me, leaving a red welt where the chain had snapped. Just ignoring him is clearly no longer an option – however, due to the fact that I’m a 16 year old college freshman and he’s a 24 year old college senior, I fear the RA would favor him over me or think I’m making this up. It’s so much drama over such a small matter that I don’t know how to voice my concerns without appearing to be a whiny little kid. What should I do?

Regards,
Jaylinn

Jaylinn, go talk to your RA right now. He ripped a sink out of the main hall and threw it at someone? He’s acted aggressively and violently toward you? That is not someone “merely” being disagreeable, a jerk, or being dismissive of people who don’t share their opinions. That is someone who is a danger to other people, and the authorities at your school need to be alerted. Is there someone with more clout than the RA that you can talk to, perhaps campus security, whomever your RA reports to, your advisor, or one of your professors?

This is not “so much drama over such a small matter”, Jaylinn. Over the period of one week, he repeatedly physically assaulted you. Physical assault needs to be reported to campus security or the police, as soon as possible, every time. Corroboration, either from other people who’ve been subjected to this behavior from him, or who have witnessed him assaulting you or others, would be very important as well. These sorts of actions must be documented. If he believes that physical violence is okay because he disagrees with someone’s opinion, the Lady of the Manners does not want to think about what he would do if he really lost his temper. So please, do not feel you are overreacting or sounding whiny.

As to how to voice your concerns without sounding like a “whiny little kid”: nothing about your letter was whiny or childish sounding, but the Lady of the Manners feels that your strongest statements were in the final paragraph, where you outlined the assaults he’s already perpetrated. Go to whomever has the most authority to discipline or restrain this person, and explain the situation to them just as you did to the Lady of the Manners.

Good luck, and stay safe!

—

Dearest Lady Of The Manners,
Firstly, I must say that your site is most wonderful, and it is just lovely to see someone taking charge and helping some of the more troubled of the black clad masses.

I myself am an avid reader of this site, and it has given me some helpful advice in the past. However, I must trouble you to give me some advice on a matter that deeply troubles me. You see, I am engaged to a most caring gentleman, and for the most part he is simply charming to me. However, there is another side to him…

For a start, although most of the time he thinks I look good and tolerates my chosen style of fashion, there are a few things that he constantly goes on about if I dare wear them…such as a vest top with a corset front and back (Which I may add does NOT reveal anything inappropriate) in red and black…which every time I wear he refuses to walk down the street or even look at me.

Then, there’s the matter of me backcombing my hair. I do it – he laughs at me and says I look stupid and…..emo. Furthermore, if he thinks a skirt I wear is ‘too short’, he taunts me non stop all day saying I look tarty…even though it is perfectly fine for most other girls to wear this length of skirt.

Finally, and the matter that strikes me most deeply, is the matter of alcohol. He is anti-drink, so this means I have to be as well … otherwise World War 3 breaks out and he treats me like dirt for the next 2 weeks.

I deeply apologize for the length of this letter, and please could you advise me on what to do that could change his mind? I’ve tried getting him to try alcohol, but he flat out refuses…I don’t want to lose my fiancée to such a stupid cause though.

Thank you,

Sweetest Maleficia

Oh … dear. The Lady of the Manners has read your letter over and over, and is still a bit unsure what to say. No, there isn’t anything you could do to change his mind. Not about his views on alcohol, and not about how he treats you when he doesn’t like how you look. It pains the Lady of the Manners to say this, but she doesn’t think that you and your fiancé are a good match for each other. It sounds like you do love each other, but that you also want to change each other. Yes, people in relationships do end up changing each other over the years, but going into a relationship (and especially a marriage) where there are things that you want to change completely about your partner usually ends … not well. Not always disastrously, mind you, but still not well. Relationships are about give and take, and about communication and happy compromises. Your partner disapproving of what you wear, or you trying to change his anti-drink stance are things that the Lady of the Manners suspects you’ll never reach a happy compromise about.

The advice the Lady of the Manners does have for you is for you and your fiancé to sit down and really talk about these issues. Yes, the talk will probably become heated and argumentative, but you need to talk about how his taunting or refusal to talk to you when you wear certain items is hurtful, and not something a loving partner should do. You also need to talk about how your attempts to convince him to try alcohol or to change his beliefs are also not things a loving partner should do, because they’re not. Nor is his “treating you like dirt for the next 2 weeks” when you do have a drink.

In short, you two need to talk about things, and see if you can reach an understanding about who you both are, and learn to accept each other’s different outlooks and opinions. And it’s better to have those sorts of long, possibly painful discussions now rather than after you’ve said your marriage vows.
—

Goodness, Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners picked some of the more upsetting letters from the Gothic Charm School mailbox, didn’t she? But those are the sorts of letters that absolutely need answering, even if they do cause the Lady of the Manners to pace around and hold worried conversations with her stuffed vampire bunny.

What’s coming up next at Gothic Charm School? Oh, a review of Noxenlux Chapeau! Also, there has been a lot of mail asking for help finding gothy clothing, so the Lady of the Manners feels that perhaps it’s time for another column on fashion.

The Lady of the Manners is sure that all of you know how to contact Gothic Charm School, but here’s a hint: visit the “Correspondence” page that’s listed over there on the right side of the page …

Posted in Growing Pains, Love & Romance, Serious Matters | Leave a comment

Show And Tell: Fables And Fields Green by Blackbird Orchestra

Posted on January, 2010 by Lady of the Manners

Fables and Fields Green from Seattle-based Blackbird Orchestra is a CD that shimmers with a nostalgia for something I can’t quite express. Listening to this CD is like listening to the perfect soundtrack for an idealized John Hughes movie about sensitive-yet-cynical hopeless romantics.

There’s no sarcasm in that previous paragraph. The guitar-anchored sound of Blackbird Orchestra alone would be enough to fill me with wistful nostalgic glee for a time when “alternative” music had guitars, strong melodies, and no rage-filled screaming OR tweedly-beep keyboards. There are many bands nowadays who aren’t much more than than a laundry list of their influences; the most fun in listening is to play the game of “spot the influence”. But Blackbird Orchestra neatly sidestep that pitfall; they take the nostalgic recognition they evoke and go on to craft something entirely new with it. Something with guitars, soaring vocals, and a sense that they’re creating these songs because they want to, not because they need to live up to some sort of prefab “image”.

For me, the standout tracks on Fables And Fields Green are “Blood And Earth”, “Hypatia”, and “Hollowland”. Those are the songs that have woven themselves into part of my brain, the songs I find myself humming as I try and drift off to sleep.

I tend to relate to music as a soundtrack for emotions and for movies that might not exist, which is why I find myself so fond of Blackbird Orchestra. “Hollowland” is a song for walking around by yourself on a blustery autumn day, scrunching through the fallen leaves and trying to decide what you want to do with yourself, while the sweeping guitars and vocals match your feelings of yearning for something; you just haven’t quite figured out what it is yet. “Hollowland” has a sense of cheerful melancholy to it, the feeling that what you really want is just around that next corner, just past those spindly, skeletal trees.

“Hypatia”, on the other hand, is the sort of song that all of us of a Certain Age (or generation of Goth) would have expected to hear in our local Goth club during the early part of the evening. Not one that you would necessarily feel compelled to dance to, but that sort of soaring sonic wall that set the mood as you stood at the bar purchasing your first drink of the night, looking around to see what new or familiar faces were out. Jangling rhythm guitar and a strong drum line getting you in the mood for a night of exploration and gossip, while the melody winds your nerves up to a state of pleasurable anticipation.

“Blood And Earth” is the song I find myself going back to repeatedly. But that may have something to do with the fact that I can hear it as the song being played over an opening credits montage for a movie; that comment I made about this CD being the perfect soundtrack for an idealized John Hughes movie is proven the most with this song. “Blood And Earth” sounds like the result of a secret collaboration between The Psychedelic Furs and The Cure, with each verse pulling you by the hand to the chorus.

So yes, I very much like Blackbird Orchestra. I’ve been lucky enough to see them perform live once, and am hoping to catch more shows by them in the future. If you’re someone who enjoys the bittersweet feelings of happy nostalgia for things that haven’t actually happened, then Fables And Fields Green is what you’ve been hoping to find.

Posted in review: music, Reviews, Show And Tell | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Show And Tell! Or, More Reviews.

Posted on January, 2010 by Lady of the Manners

Welcome to Show and Tell at Gothic Charm School! Show and Tell is how reviews are going to be labeled from now on, as the Lady of the Manners is planning on writing more reviews. (In addition to answering reader questions, not instead of!)

What sorts of reviews? Music, books, clothing, cosmetics, hats, boots, jewelry… any random shiny thing that catches my eye and ends up in my gloved clutches, really. It’s also a place at Gothic Charm School that’s a bit more relaxed, where the writing will be a little less formal. In other words, the Lady of the Manners is going to dispense with the third-person frivolity, and well, generally flail and burble about things.

Are you interested in having your particular shiny thing reviewed at Gothic Charm School? Send an email to me! The physical mailing address is:

Gothic Charm School
P.O. Box 70331
Seattle, WA
98127-0331

Please keep in mind that sending things to Gothic Charm School does not guarantee a review will be posted to Gothic Charm School. While I would love to be able to review everything everyone sends me, there are a lot of other things I need to do, and there are many, many pretty shiny things out there. So yes, please send me an email!

Posted in Reviews, Show And Tell | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Of Cakes, Dresses, and Princesses. And Lady GaGa.

Posted on January, 2010 by Lady of the Manners

Good heavens, Snarklings, it’s 2010! 2009 seemed to go by in a bit of a blur, what with the release of the Gothic Charm School book and all of the corresponding book-related travel and media events. The Lady of the Manners had an exciting time during all of it, but does feel a bit bewildered by how fast the year went.

This installment of Gothic Charm School is going to be a bit all over the place, with all sorts of different questions for the Lady of the Manners to address. Even one about Lady GaGa?

Dearest Lady of the Manners,

There is a question I’ve been pondering for some time: is Lady GaGa goth or does she just fancy dwelling in macabre elements? I’m not quite sure. Your opinion would be most valuable.

Sincerely,
Rose

::blink blink blink::

While the Lady of the Manners is not terribly familiar with Lady GaGa’s music (the Lady of the Manners resides in something of a musical isolation chamber, and is frequently unaware of what is going on in the world of pop music), she has seen all sorts of photos of Lady GaGa. No, Rose, Lady GaGa is not Goth. She seems to be some sort of descendant of Glam Rock, with overtones of Cyndi Lauper, the “club kids” of the 90s, and anyone else who looked like they would bleed glitter. While Lady GaGa isn’t Goth (even if the Lady of the Manners has been informed that some of her songs have been heard at Goth clubs), the Lady of the Manners quite approves of anyone who decides to present themselves in such an over-the-top manner, and would love to sit down with Lady GaGa over a cup of tea to talk about makeup tips.

—

Aryana Victoria wrote in with a question about cake!

Lady of the Manners, please I seek for your opinion and advice for I have an issue that I believe you can help me with (since my friends are not being exactly… helpful.) I am turning 16 and I am having a Sweet 16 gothic style ^^ I am getting everything I could ever ask for… except for my cake. You see, I’m getting one of those fancy-shmancy cakes that cost BIG $$$ but I don’t know what to get. My colors are black, silver, and a dab of white. I want black to be the main focus of my cake but my mother wants it to be white! I am not sure of a way for my cake to be, but I don’t want it all white. I want it mostly black but that’s not going to happen… I’m stuck, what should I do? Please help me Lady of the Manners, my deadline is almost up!!!

Ooh, a fancy-shmancy birthday cake! The Lady of the Manners loves those sorts of things. And while the Lady of the Manners understands your wish for black to be the main color of your cake, she has a little secret to share with you: black frosting, no matter how good the baker, always tastes a little odd. Not to mention it will stain your tongue and possibly your teeth a darkish grey-blue color, which is not terribly fun. So! The Lady of the Manners suggestion is that you go with a mostly white cake, but have black bats and vines as decorative accents, and perhaps some black and silver skull designs, too. Or what about black stripes of frosting on an otherwise white frosted cake? (An option the Lady of the Manners hopes to see on a birthday cake for herself one of these years!) Fondant or marzipan can be tinted and molded into all sorts of shapes, so you could have skulls, bats, or coffins decorating your cake.

—

But wait! There’s another question relating to a Sweet 16 birthday, from Jessica:

Hellooo 🙂

I would just like to ask your advice on where to find a gothic gown suitable for a big party. You see I’m going to have a sweet sixteen/Quinceanera party (odd i know hehe) and I need a dress of that sort. I just don’t know where to start looking and would greatly appreciate any references you may have to offer.

Please and
thankies,
Jessica 🙂

You do realize, don’t you, that the description of gothic gown covers a very large range of styles. Are you looking for something over-the-top ruffly? Something with a more Victorian air? Or perhaps a gown that is more gothabilly? But never fear, Jessica, because the Lady of the Manners has a couple of suggestions for places to look for gothic gowns; places that have never let the Lady of the Manners down yet, no matter what sort of finery she’s been looking for.

Firstly, there is Kambriel. Kambriel, in addition to being one of the sweetest, most gracious people who the Lady of the Manners has the good fortune to be friends with, is a fantastically talented artist. The garments that Kambriel creates are wearable pieces of magic and art. When the Lady of the Manners eventually rules the world (with her faithful fanged bunny at her side), she is going to have closets and closets full of gorgeous creations from Kambriel.

Next is Voodoo Lounge on Etsy. Her work has a charmingly quirky, spooky circus feel to it, and every item is wonderfully made. (The Lady of the Manners is especially fond of her Underbodice Vest.)

If your family isn’t willing to take the plunge of having a gown custom-made for you, then the Lady of the Manners would like to point you in the direction of Retroscope Fashions! The talented folks at Retroscope also do custom clothing, but they’re best known for their selection of reasonably-priced gothy finery. Retroscope Fashions is where the Lady of the Manners purchases a lot of her wardrobe “basics” (mostly in the form of ruffly skirts and blouses), and has found them a delight to shop with every time.

The Lady of the Manners hopes that her clicky-links help lead you to the gothic gown of your dreams!

—

Melissa wrote in to Gothic Charm School with a gothy wardrobe issue that the Lady of the Manners hadn’t run across before:

Dear Lady of the Manners,

I have a bit of an unusual inquiry that I believe you may have an answer to… To explain, I’ve indulged in various gothic fashions for years now without incident, that is until I recently purchased Lip-Service’s “War of the Roses” Military Style Jacket. (Admittedly I positively love petticoats/tailcoats and more 19th century-esque fashion haha.) Problem is, when I’ve worn it out in public on a number of occasions now, I’ve merited VERY disparaging comments and scathing glances… I should preface that I fully understand the goth culture naturally attracts attention in that it’s not the “norm” for a lot of people so to speak. With this particular article of clothing, I do have some concerns that I may be being inadvertently TERRIBLY disrespectful to anyone in the military or some other possibility I hadn’t considered though. I’m certainly not trying to appease the masses, but if this is somehow regarded offensive or vulgar, it would help to be informed. Perhaps I’ve just managed to coincidentally run into quite a few closed minded individuals, but either way, your input on this peculiar (and trivial) matter would be greatly appreciated as I admit I may not know some of the finer nuances of some goth attire.

-Thank you so very much for you help,
Melissa

Melissa, the Lady of the Manners is absolutely baffled at the reactions your jacket is receiving. (And the Lady of the Manners knows exactly what the Lip Service “War of the Roses” jacket looks like, as she has been coveting it for quite a while now. Perhaps there will be one left in her size when the line goes on closeout …)

As far as the Lady of the Manners is concerned, there is nothing disrespectful about wearing a “military-inspired” item of clothing, especially when the item is quite obviously in no way meant to be mistaken for an honest-to-goodness item from a uniform. Gracious, mainstream fashion has been swarming with all sorts of “military-inspired” jackets and waistcoats for a few years now! (Which makes the Lady of the Manners and other Goths very happy indeed, and yes, we’ve all been snapping items up as soon as they hit clearance racks.)

It does sound like you have merely had the misfortune to run into some close-minded individuals who apparently have nothing else to be fussy about. The next time you wear your “War of the Roses” jacket, if you happen to run into one of these cranky and curmudgeonly types, just smile sweetly at them and ignore them. Your jacket is not offensive or vulgar in the least.

—
The next question presented here at Gothic Charm School is … a bit of a puzzle. The Lady of the Manners isn’t quite sure how to answer it, but felt that it needed to be addressed in some way:

Dear Lady of the Manners,

How could I Be Gothic Lolita or The Real or The one and only, The Goth Princess? I always wanted to be the Goth Princess, but my Parents wont allow me to buy Black Clothes Accessories or Even Dresses or Goth Stuffs, I am Just pretending to be the Goth Princess because I want to! I mean if I am The real Goth Princess, for example, I am The Richest Girl in The whole World, and I am Intelligent, Red-Ruby Eyes, Pale White Healthy Skin, Long Straight Beautiful black Hair with H-Shaped Bangs, A Beautiful Mansion, A cute Black Cat Named Mystery, and Most of all I have a Special Private Guardian and His name is going to be Seira (He do whatever I say, He always obeys me, but sometimes when i say bad things, he wont obey me, because its bad! This is Just an Example, But PLEASE could you teach me how to be The Goth Princess…⠥⠥â ¥

⠥⠥â ¥PLEASE & THANK YOU⠥⠥â ¥

Love,
Emily TheSpringField

“The Goth Princess”? Dear Emily, the Lady of the Manners, while sympathetic to your wishes, suspects that the whole of them (the richest girl in the whole world, red-ruby eyes, a beautiful mansion, a private guardian named Seira) are, well, not really things that are obtainable. To be honest, the Lady of the Manners isn’t even really sure what you mean by teaching you how to be The Goth Princess. The Lady of the Manners knows all sorts of people who have been referred to by that label (and has even had it somewhat teasingly applied to herself), but doesn’t know of any actual Goth Princess title. So teaching you how to be one is a mite impossible. Not to mention that the only way one can become a real princess (as in titled royalty, not, say, some sort of beauty contest winner) is to be born to or marry into a royal family.

So what can you do? First of all, write down all of these ideas you have about what it means to be The Goth Princess as stories. Write about the sort of world you’d like to live in, if being The Goth Princess were something that you could do. But while it’s fun to daydream and visit a fantasy where you are The Goth Princess, do keep in mind that it is just a daydream. The Lady of the Manners is very strongly in favor of having a sense of wonder and whimsy, but also very strongly believes that one must live in the real world. Goth has a strong thread of escapism and fantasy, but it isn’t about avoiding reality.

Next, decide if you want to find a place for yourself in the Goth subculture even if you can’t be The Goth Princess. Is the notion of being a mysterious and darkly alluring princess of the night the only thing that has attracted you to Goth? Or do you feel a pull toward the macabre, the spooky, and the quirky? If you are interested in Goth, then start talking to your parents about your interests and see if they can be won over to the idea of you having more say in the sort of clothing you wear.

—

Coming soon to Gothic Charm School, a reviews section! Yes, the Lady of the Manners has finally been persuaded to have a section on Gothic Charm School where all of the reviews will live. The tone of that area will be not as formal in tone as the advice section here; if any of you have read parts of the Lady of the Manners LiveJournal, you have a good idea of what to expect. (In other words, less referring to herself in the third person, and more squeeing and flaily-hands of glee.)

As always, Snarklings, you can send your questions to Gothic Charm School with just a few clicks!

Posted in Being Fashionable, Being Social, Stuff & Oddments | Leave a comment

Of Disapproving Doctors

Posted on December, 2009 by Lady of the Manners

Snarklings, the Lady of the Manners wants you to know, right off the bat, that this installment of Gothic Charm School was one she found more than a touch difficult to write. But even though the Lady of the Manners fretted and worried about what to say, she knew this was a letter she absolutely had to address. A reader who has labeled themselves Mentally Endangered Spooky Snarkling wrote in with this worrisome issue:

question: Dear Lady of Manners,

I am a goth in my early 20s. Unfortunately, I have severe mental health problems which mean I have to rely on the psychiatric system to survive. Although I have been much happier and more grounded since becoming involved in my local gothic scene, my treaters – doctors, psychs, nurses, techs, social workers – all act as if that is the problem. Last month I was hospitalized, and the experience was nightmarish in the bad way. My social worker flat-out told me I couldn’t be released until I promised to separate myself from my friends – the same black-clad, makeupped friends who visited me every day – and that it was imperative that I “get out of the goth scene.” (Supposedly, this would make my depression magically get all better!). The entire time, the staff treated my dark-clad, pierced self with suspicion. Your book had excellent advice about dealing with hostile family and peers, but how would you advise someone dealing with a hostile medical establishment?

-MESS

The Lady of the Manners is very distraught to hear that the medical professionals who are helping you are being so … close-minded. The Lady of the Manners does have some suggestions for you, but isn’t sure how many of them you will be able to use.

Firstly, have you tried the tactic the Lady of the Manners suggested in her book for dealing with hostile family? Sit down with your caregivers and speak seriously to them about their misguided (and, frankly, wrongheaded) ideas about Goth? If you haven’t, the Lady of the Manners strongly suggests you try it. Ask your caregivers to specifically spell out, point by point and with examples, what their concerns and objections to Goth are.

The Lady of the Manners suspects that the people who are helping you with your mental health aren’t very informed about the Goth subculture, and are going off of whatever information they have absorbed from mass media and popular culture. You need to thoroughly and carefully explain to them that Goth isn’t about being depressed, it isn’t about hurting yourself, and it isn’t about denying reality. (At the risk of sounding self-aggrandizing, the Lady of the Manners does think it might be helpful to hand your copy of the Gothic Charm School book to your social worker and other caregivers and ask them to read Chapters One and Two.)

Next, explain to them that you do feel happier and more grounded since you started becoming involved in the local Goth scene. Give them specific examples of what it is about being part of the Goth world that makes you feel happy and accepted, and point out to them that your spookster friends were the ones who came and visited you every day. The Lady of the Manners feels that having a strong support network of friends is hugely important (heaven knows such a thing has helped her get through some very emotionally and mentally trying times!), and that your caregivers need to realize that trying to remove you from your friends would most likely be counter-productive to your working toward mental stability. Of course, if your social group is the sort that leads you into dangerous situations, or who encourage you to do things that would be a bad mix with any medications you might be taking, then the Lady of the Manners does understand why your caregivers might feel you shouldn’t see those people. But that is not the impression the Lady of the Manners got from your letter.

Is it an option for you to find caregivers in your area who will be more supportive of your lifestyle choices? The Lady of the Manners has been reminded by her very clever friends that you should treat the search for doctors as interviewing people who will work for you, and that you should have the option of rejecting working with someone who would be a poor fit.

A website that may be helpful is the National Alliance on Mental Illness: “NAMI’s support and public education efforts are focused on educating America about mental illness, offering resources to those in need, and insisting that mental illness become a high national priority.”

The most important thing, in the Lady of the Manners’ eyes, is for you to make sure that the people who are helping you get to a healthier place understand that Goth does NOT cause people to have problems, no more than being a sports fan, an avid sudoku player, or a fan of American Idol causes people to have problems. If participating in your local Goth scene makes you happy and gives you something to focus on other than your struggles, that is a good thing, not a cause for worry or alarm.

Good luck, and please write back and let the Lady of the Manners know how you are doing, or if her suggestions were of any help. And if any readers have any helpful advice, please send it along to Gothic Charm School.

—

The Lady of the Manners is going to indulge in a little bit of shameless self-promotion here, Snarklings. Are you scratching your head, trying to think of festive, yet gothy, presents to give to people? Weeeeelllll, there’s this very nice book available at bookstores everywhere … Or perhaps aGothic Charm School t-shirt, a Batty Heart necklace, or a jar of yummy-smelling body butter?

—

After giving you that collection of clicky-links, the Lady of the Manners is going to go listen to some CDs she intends to review here on Gothic Charm School, and perhaps indulge in a very silly book. Does the Lady of the Manners need to give you the Correspondence link again, in case you wish to write to Gothic Charm School? Well, better safe than sorry …

Posted in Serious Matters | Leave a comment

Of Events, Videos, And A Clarification

Posted on November, 2009 by Lady of the Manners

This is a rather quick update this time, Snarklings. An upcoming event, a new video, and a clarification about one of the clothing stores mentioned in the previous update.

Firstly, an event! If you find yourself in the Seattle area on Sunday, November 15th, then you absolutely must scamper down to the Elliot Bay Book Company at 4:30 that afternoon. Why? Because Elliot Bay is very kindly hosting an afternoon of gothy conversation with the Lady of the Manners and Clint Catalyst! The Lady of the Manners has admired Mr. Catalyst for his razor-sharp writing, snarky wit, and fondly wry take on Goth culture for years and years, and is thrilled to the tips of her boots that she will finally get to spend time with him in person, instead of the usual flurry of emails. What happens when two ElderGoths meet up? Oh, you know, the usual: snark-laden nostalgia and hijinks. You really don’t want to miss this, Snarklings!

Next on the agenda is, oh goodness, a new Gothic Charm School video on YouTube! Filmed on location at the October 16th Mourning Market and Gargoyles Statuary! Go watch it and learn about why there’s more reasons to support dark artists, designers, and stores other than just the obvious “Ooooh, shiny things!” reason.

The final bit of this update to Gothic Charm School was prompted by a reply a reader sent about the previous update about shopping for Goth clothing:

Dear Lady of the Manners,

I recently found your site and purchased your book, and have been enjoying it and your website quite a bit. I read the recent post “Of Goth Fashion, With Clicky-Links!” and just wanted to point something out. I checked out the links you provided and upon looking through the Retroscope website I noticed that all of their men’s clothes (and some of the women’s as well) are the clothes made by the Chinese eBay seller FanPlusFriend. However, when purchased from the eBay seller or through their website you can have many of the items custom-sized and they are significantly less expensive to boot.

I wasn’t sure if you were aware, so I just wanted to let you know. Thanks very much!

Sincerely,
Jason

Oh goodness, this is a rather common misconception, and the Lady of the Manners really should have addressed it when she made the “Of Goth Fashion, With Clicky-Links!” post. You see, the lovely people behind Retroscope fashions found FanPlusFriend and decided to turn to them for their manufacturing needs. But with the ways that intellectual property and copyright laws work (or rather, don’t work) where FanPlusFriend is located, they were able to to turn around and offer Retroscope’s designs through their own store. (This would also be why FanPlusFriend offers items that resemble garments from certain “brand name” EGL designers.)

In the interest of full disclosure, the Lady of the Manners does own items from FanPlusFriend, and is quite happy with them. But the Lady of the Manners will always see what Retroscope Fashions has to offer first.

—

With that, the Lady of the Manners is going to go nibble on a cupcake and work a bit more on the answer for the next update here at Gothic Charm School, in which a Snarkling asks for help in dealing with some medical professionals who seem to think that Goth is dangerous. (The Lady of the Manners is sure the doctors mean well, but strongly feels they’re misguided.) But more of that next time! Until then, Snarklings, feel free to write!

Posted in Being Fashionable, Events, Media | Leave a comment

Of Goth Fashion, With Clicky-Links!

Posted on October, 2009 by Lady of the Manners

Clothing, Snarklings. Goth fashion is a source of perpetual questions here at Gothic Charm School. Assembling a gothy wardrobe can, at times, be a bit daunting; the Lady of the Manners does understand that. Here, let the Lady of the Manners share with you some of the types of letters that come fluttering into the Gothic Charm School mailbox:


question: I’ve admired the gothic subculture for years now, but kept my distance from the fashion for lack of confidence and to keep certain persons (i.e., mom and dad) from getting upset. Now while I still don’t have quite the amount of confidence I’d like, I’m past caring about the approval of my parents in my taste of clothing.
I’m especially fond of the elegant Gothic aristocratic/Victorian apparel. My concerns, and the reasons for writing to you, boil down to two things. First, I’m unsure how to begin, how can I put together such clothes without looking like a noob, a wannabe, or a person in costume?

Second, I’m having a hard time finding such clothes. I’m leery of places on the internet like eBay selling expensive things at questionable quality. Pickings in the surrounding stores are slim to nonexistent. I can’t sew, so making my own clothes is also out of the question (I know you’ve encouraged others to learn how to sew, and I’m making every effort to learn at least enough to alterations).
I apologize if my questions are variations of others, and thank you for taking the time to read my letter
<3 Katie

—

question: I love your regular online column and read it often. About me: I’m now 52, part of the “first school” of Goth from way back in the day and have found some great advice for aging Goths like myself on your website. Bravo!

Question: Where in the world can one find any decent clothes for Goth men, particularly, for the older crowd who, like me, tend to feel a bit silly and self-conscious wearing items that are obviously aimed at the 20-something and younger set?

I search all the time online and always seem to find that most of the clothing items are being marketed to women, and not men. Or, as noted above, that most of the items are of the “club wear” variety and are not as conservative as I personally feel that one of my age and station should wear.

Any suggestions?

Thanks,

Curt

The Lady of the Manners suspects that both Curt and Katie (and countless other gothy-types out there beyond the Lady of the Manners’ computer screen) have fallen prey to a classic mistake when looking for Goth clothes: that they’re focusing on finding “Goth” clothes.

The Lady of the Manners isn’t sure why more people haven’t figured it out yet, but she’s quite happy to share this bit of advice with all of you: very often, the best items to fill out your Goth wardrobe aren’t specifically marketed as Goth at all. “Mainstream” stores are full of items of clothing that can be perfect Goth pieces! Blazers, waistcoats, sharp-collared dress shirts, blouses with frills and lace trim, good trousers, flowing velvet skirts; the Lady of the Manners and her friends have found all of these items (and more!) in black at stores such as Macy’s, J.C. Penny’s, Target, Ross, and H+M, not to mention thrift stores galore. Of course, shopping those mainstream stores requires a bit more perseverance and ingenuity than just popping ’round to Ye Olde Spooky Shoppe. In addition to searching through racks for a hidden gem with gothy potential, you have to be able to look at what you find with an open and creative mind. Do you have items in your closet that will look smashing with that “basic” black blazer you’ve just pulled off the rack? How would it look with a long skirt, or well-tailored trousers? Would it be a good item for customizing, be it with a handful of interesting brooches, patches stitched or safety-pinned on, or by changing the buttons?

In her letter, Katie mentions that she’s trying to learn how to do alterations. The Lady of the Manners cannot stress this skill enough, Snarklings. If you can learn how to thread a needle and do a basic stitch, a whole world of wardrobe customization will open up to you. Adding trim, changing buttons, sewing on appliqués or patches … all of these things can be done by hand, and can turn a basic garment from a big box store like Target or Wal-Mart into something with a more spooky air.

Don’t think that you need to have easy access to a fabric store to find things to customize your wardrobe with, either! Yes, fabric stores are the simplest way to gather supplies such as lace, ribbon, buttons, or patches, but they’re not your only option. Most general stores sell basic sewing kit items such as scissors, needles, and thread; now that D.I.Y. crafting has become trendy, those same general stores also sometimes carry buttons, or patches and iron-ons with (usually rather cutesy) skulls. If you’ve got a good eye and are clever, another good place to find D.IY. supplies is your local thrift store. Perhaps that shirt you just found is made from horrible fabric, but what about the buttons on it? Take a look around at the piles of sheets and curtains; dismantle those ruffled pillowcases and use them as layers of flounces!

Of course, the most important things to keep in mind when you are shopping for Goth clothing is what style of Goth you are interested in, and to keep an eye on mainstream fashion to see if elements of your chosen style are deemed “In” at the moment. Are you looking for an antique-styled, gothy Victorian look? The fashion industry flirts with that style every few years, and when it does, that is the time to stock up on lace blouses and velvet jackets. More of a fan of sharper-edged lines, or punk aggression? Again, there are times (such as this current fall fashion season) when those sorts of items can be found at your local shopping mall. It bears repeating: it helps to have at least a vague knowledge of what is going on in mainstream fashion. Take a look at fashion blogs, flip through fashion magazines, use Polyvore as an enormous set of paper dolls to build outfits from (that’s what the Lady of the Manners does!); that way, when the fashion industry decrees that Adam Ant-style jackets with lots of shiny buttons are what everyone should wear, you know, and can keep a sharp eye out for the clearance sales!

But what if you don’t want (or don’t have time) to spend playing hunter/gatherer to build your wardrobe of gloom? This is where the Internet can be particularly useful, if a little overwhelming. There are squillions and squillions of sites out there with Goth-targeted merchandise, but how do you know which ones have quality goods? Firstly, ask people. Ask the people you know on social networking sites. (The Lady of the Manners is just going to assume that everyone reading this is probably on some sort of social networking site, be it LiveJournal, DreamWidth, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, or some other one she’s not yet heard of.) Ask folks if they’ve heard of the particular site you’re looking at, and if they have any reviews, or ask people for recommendations about where to find particular items. And in that spirit, now is the section for the Lady of the Manners to give you a list of designers and retailers that she personally recommends!

Designers:

Kambriel is, as far as the Lady of the Manners is concerned, the Goth designer. Her work was shown in the recent Goth: Dark Glamour exhibit at the Fashion Institute of Technology in New York. Kambriel is justly renowned for her beautiful designs and exquisite attention to detail. If you’re a lady or gentleman looking for dark glamour and elegance, give your money to Kambriel. You won’t be disappointed.

Voodoo Lounge on Etsy offers spookily whimsical skirts, dresses, shrugs, and vests, with a dollop of Victorian circus sensibility. Stripes, ruffles, lace, and rag doll-stitching accents abound, with wonderful construction and a general air of “we’re going to run away and join a very mysterious traveling circus”.

Gloomth explores the Gothic Lolita aesthetic, but with a more dark Victorian ragamuffin feel. Many of their offerings look like they could have come from an Edward Gorey book; the Lady of the Manners is eagerly awaiting her first item from Gloomth, and will give a full review when it arrives.

Retailers:

Retroscope Fashions is where the Lady of the Manners purchases a lot of her skirts from. Anyone seeking items for a Victorian-esque, Gothic Lolita, or aristocrat sort of look should start browsing Retroscope, including the gentlemen! Everything the Lady of the Manners has from Retroscope has been well-made, and the owner of the company is an absolute sweetheart.

(Forgive the Lady of the Manners, Snarklings, but she’s going to be a bit mercenary for just a moment. If you do take the plunge and purchase something from Retroscope Fashions, the Lady of the Manners would be very, very grateful if you mentioned her as the person who referred you there. Customer referrals equal more stripy skirts in the Lady of the Manners’ closet!)

Clockwork Couture, while more focused on the steampunk aesthetic rather than Goth, has a wonderful selection of clothing and footwear for ladies and gentlemen. And gracious, do they have a constantly-changing selection of wares!

Gentleman’s Emporium is another site that is packed full of splendid neo-Victorian goodies for men and women. (The Lady of the Manners is particularly charmed by the Ladies 1900 Black Bathing Suit, which is the sort of thing she has wanted long before she started watching Tim Burton’s version of Sweeney Todd on a near-weekly basis.)

The sharp-eyed amongst you may have noticed that the Lady of the Manners’ collection of shopping clicky-links is rather heavily representative of the neo-Victorian/Gothic Lolita/Elegant Gothic Aristocrat side of the subcultural closet. Well, yes, those are the Lady of the Manners’ favored styles, so of course those are the links she has. If any of you have favorite retailers for punk and industrial fashions, please send them to Gothic Charm School, and the Lady of the Manners will make be sure to post them! (After, of course, checking the sites out. The Lady of the Manners trusts you people, but thinks that blindly posting links is just asking for trouble.)

The final bit (well, final for this lesson) of advice concerning Goth fashion that the Lady of the Manners has for you all is something that Katie mentioned in her letter. Here, to remind you:

I’m unsure how to begin, how can I put together such clothes without looking like a noob, a wannabe, or a person in costume?

One thing to be aware of, if you wish to avoid the “clueless newbie” or “I’m in a costume!” air clinging to you, is the quality of fabrics your garments are made of. Lightweight panne velvet or satin-finish fabrics scream costume, generally with an undertone of costume that came in a big plastic bag. There are many items that could be a darkly gleaming example of elegant gothy finery, but are betrayed by the fabrics they’ve been made from.

Another important thing to keep in mind is to look at your entire outfit and check if it looks well-put-together, as opposed to a collection of random “Goth” garments all worn because they’re So Goth. You want to look like you’ve put some thought into what you’re wearing, not like a walking pile of laundry from the Haunted Mansion.

And lastly, what the Lady of the Manners feels is the most vital way to avoid looking like a noob or wannabe: make sure that you are wearing your outfit, rather than it wearing you. You have chosen to dress in a manner different from other people, so be comfortable in your decision! Nothing ruins a striking outfit faster than the person wearing it looking uncomfortable or unsure about what they’re wearing. If you feel like you’re wearing a costume, then you will come across like you’re wearing a costume. Be confident in what you’ve decided to adorn yourself with, and that will go a very long way toward helping you look like the Real Thing. If this means that you need to give new, elaborate, or complicated outfits a “trial run” at home before you wear them out, so be it. It is better to discover any problems or quirks with outfit in the privacy of your home, instead of being out in public and discovering that you are in danger of tipping over backwards from the weight of your bustle!

With that, the Lady of the Manners is going to go back to window-shopping and watching Sweeney Todd. Does the Lady of the Manners need to give you the handy clicky-link to write to Gothic Charm School? Well, better safe than sorry, right? So write!

Posted in Being Fashionable, Clicky-links | Leave a comment

A Review of MAC’s Black Lipsticks

Posted on October, 2009 by Lady of the Manners

The Lady of the Manners wants you to know, Snarklings, that this is not the giant Goth fashion edition of Gothic Charm School. No, because the Lady of the Manners is still collecting clicky-links and discovering that while she has oodles of advice about Victorian-esque and darkly elegant gothwear, she needs to do a bit more searching around for helpful words and links to give to those of you who favor a more punk-tinged aesthetic.

So! The Lady of the Manners is going to answer a reader question about makeup! Jaleesa asks:

I have to ask you something. What is your thought’s on MAC’s newest products from the “Style Black” collection? Also, what is your thought’s on plus size goths? Other than, I love your book and your site. thank you

Oh yes, the MAC Style Black collection, chock-full of black lipsticks and nail polishes. Haven’t you noticed, Snarklings? The harder-edged/punk side of Goth is a big deal in the fashion world this autumn, which amuses the Lady of the Manners to no end, (even if her stylistic preference is for the more Victorian side of Goth). The Lady of the Manners, being a complete push-over for this sort of thing, scampered down to her local MAC store to ooh and ahhh over the goodies, and ended up getting the Mattene lipstick in Midnight Media, and Glimmerglass glosses in Blackfire and Blackware.

Midnight Media is a nicely-pigmented black lipstick. It feels creamier and more moisturizing than other MAC Mattene lipsticks, and it’s fairly long-lasting. The color is buildable; the first coat does go on as black instead of grey (thank goodness!), but you’ll get a deeper, more opaque black if you apply more coats.

Blackfire is a sheer black/gray gloss with red/pink shimmer. The shimmer is not just there to look pretty in the tube, but definitely shows up on your lips and doesn’t have a texture to it. You won’t feel like you’ve spackled your lips with glitter when you wear Blackfire.

Blackwar is another sheer gloss, in a shimmer-free black/grey color.

The Lady of the Manners suspects that most people who aren’t Goths will use Blackfire or Blackware as a way to deepen a different color lipstick. (In fact, someone on Makeup Alley said that they thought Blackfire would look good over a candy-pink lipstick, the idea of which mystified the Lady of the Manners.) The Lady of the Manners has tried both of these Glimmerglass colors over MAC’s Nightmoth lip liner, which resulted in a lovely dark blackened wine color.

However, the Glimmerglasses are a pain for upkeep. In all fairness, the Lady of the Manners finds all lip gloss products to be a pain for upkeep, because no matter how carefully and precisely she applies lipliner, the gloss eventually feathers and bleeds. Which looks even worse if you’re using a black gloss. So! The Lady of the Manners will only be using the Blackfire and Blackware Glimmerglasses when she is prepared to check on the state of her makeup every half hour or so.

A lot of people hold the opinion that black lip color is a babybat thing, and that Grown-Up Goths shouldn’t go near it. Nonsense, says the Lady of the Manners. The key to being an ElderGoth and indulging in black lipstick is, just like with all things Goth-fashion related, to make sure you are wearing it, and not the other way around. Don’t go all-out with Spooky Dark Eye makeup and black lipstick, it will make you look like you’re trying too hard to present yourself as a Dark And Mysterious Creature Of The Night.

The Lady of the Manners has been wearing black lipstick paired with her usual eye makeup (ivory all over the lid, a burgundy/purple color lightly smudged at the outer corners and the crease, a pale shimmery pink in the center (MAC’s Mylar, Sketch, and Sweetlust, respectively), black liquid liner, and black mascara), and thinks it looks striking and not silly or overwrought. So to all the other ElderGoths, the Lady of the Manners says: it is time for us to take back the black lipstick from the Bad Gawfick Cliché file!

As to the Lady of the Manners’ thoughts on plus-size Goths? She wishes it were easier to find interesting and well-fitting gothy clothing above a size 12! The Lady of the Manners has been up and down size ranges, and is quite familiar with not only the difficulty in finding Goth clothing in larger sizes, but is also, sadly, familiar with some of the unspoken and vexing stereotypes about what a “Real” Goth should look like. The Lady of the Manners is strongly of the opinion that someone’s gothness is not determined by their clothing size. Or race, or able-bodied-ness, or anything else like that. In fact, the Lady of the Manners isn’t really sure why people would think that Goths must all be a certain size and shape, but the more she thinks about it, the more exasperating she finds the whole notion.

To distract herself from that looming exasperation, the Lady of the Manners is going to wander off and find more examples of mainstream fashion yet again borrowing from Goth, because such things amuse her. As always, Snarklings, do feel free to write to Gothic Charm School!

Posted in Being Fashionable | Leave a comment

A Quick Note About Two Upcoming Events

Posted on October, 2009 by Lady of the Manners

If you are in the Seattle area, Snarklings, you will be able to find the Lady of the Manners at the following places this weekend:

Saturday, October 17, 2009 2:00 – 5:00 PM
Signing at Comics Dungeon!
250 NE 45th Street
Seattle WA 98105
(206) 545-8373

Sunday, October 18th, 2009
Running around at the Mourning Market!
www.mourningmarket.com
1950 1st Ave
Seattle, WA 98134

Posted in Events, General | Leave a comment